Another whinge, feeling super crap - sorry in advance!

[Sunnyb]

I previously put a post on moaning that I have constant heartburn, can't sleep & am wide awake at 5.30am every morning. My back aches at the bottom & my pelvis is incredibly painful & I have had headache for several days. My bump feels incredibly heavy & I seem to be suffering much more than I did when I was pregnant with Joseph.
Well I'm now barely sleeping (even though I'm very anaemic & really tired) & am awake from around 4am every morning. The iron tablets have caused major constipation & I now have piles & I am starting with a cold & have a mouth full of ulcers too. Luckily I start maternity leave on Thursday this week (Yey!!!)
I have a mind working overtime about giving birth this time & even though I'm knackered & in pain, my nesting instinct won't let me settle. Think I'm going to crack up soon as my eyes sting, I look sooooo pale & just keep crying (hormones & tiredness probably).
I didn't suffer half as much with Joseph - yes I got piles & was anaemic last time, but didn't ache & get as tired & emotional as I am now & I worked full time then!
I guess I'm 6 years older & have a family to contend with now etc.
I'm not sure if I should contact my midwife about my iron levels, aches, pains etc. I don't want to sound like a moaning mum to be!
I just feel really low at the moment & not sure if it's normal at this stage of pregnancy? I just feel so different to my last pregnancy. I also get worried about feeling low as I was previously on anti-depressants for a number of years & have suffered with mental issues on & off throughout my life. I really want to remain positive & don't want to return to the dark place in my life. Should I talk to someone about how I feel or is it just my hormones, tiredness etc that's making me irrational?

Sorry for putting on such a negative post, but I just needed to say how I feel & the forum members are so supportive & honest.
If you have read this post - thanks for getting all the way through my whinge!

Sunnyb xxx

 

[Miss]

Aww hun don't worry about moaning.....honestly you feel free!

My advice would be to always get headaches checked out by the Midwife - better to be safe that sorry! Also speak to her about your other aches and pains and see what she says....it might just be as you said 6 years old with more commitments etc but it sounds like me like you are very very run down

Also remember that every pregnancy is different.....I am 11 years older this time round and have coped much much better than I did first time round - actually I went thru the same as you are now the first time round...everything hurt and I just felt so poorly all the time I hated it!

I would also recomend that you speak with your Doctor/Midwife regarding your moods - tiredness makes it so much harder to cope with the stesses of life and having suffered from depression peviously you are more susseptiable to it during pregnancy - this does not mean you will need tablets again....sometimes just speaking to someone and getting it off your chest and being told you ARE normal is all the help you need.

Have you tried some sort of relaxation process? I know that you are like me and use essential oils....how about getting OH to rub your back or feet?

I hope Thursday and your Maternity leave come quickly for you hun!! xx

 

[Sunnyb]

Awww thanks Miss, you're so lovely x
I had a little cry when I read your message. I spoke to my midwife who has requested more blood tests for my anaemia & has told me not to stress about depression as my feelings are totally normal & made worse by hormones & tiredness not being helped by anaemia. She's referred me to the doctor about my current ailments too, as she says I can take medication for my delightful piles & constipation thank goodness as I truly am like a bear with a sore arse
My hubby is fab & is happy to scratch my back or give me a massage, but I can't stand the smell of lavender oil at the mo. Can you recommend anything else good for sleep & relaxation? I know chamomile is good, but I'm unsure of other oils safe to use. If I can buy a couple to blend or add to the bath before bedtime, that might be useful.

Sunnyb xxx

 

[Cantstop]

Awh hun you sound fed up. Any one of your complaints would be tiring, but on top of each other - it's little wonder it's all a bit overwhelming. I would definitely say talk to your midwife about it all - even if she can help with one or two things it might make all the difference to how you feel and your mood. I felt quite crap for most of my pregnancy but in general I'd say I've felt better as it's progressed, and it's different for everyone so def don't just write off all you're feeling as normal moaning.

Only a few more days until your maternity leave starts - that might make all the difference too if you have a more relaxed timetable and can squeeze in a few naps or bit more you time.

 

[snr1982]

awww I think all the things you are feeling are normal so don't stress about them. I've been having up and down days, the littlest thing can set u off at this stage esp. because you are tired, as things always seem 100 times worse than they what they are. once your on maternity leave you might fine things a little easier, although having a 6 year old running about must be really hard to cope with on top of being pregnant. I'm not so bad as my daughter is nearly 12 and pretty much does everything for herself and even looks after me now and again if I'm lucky! . I've been real bad with the heartburn which keeps me up or wakes me up at night, so I'm awful in the mornings. I've even taken to have one coffee packed with caffeine again just to wake me up at work! You've not got long to go so hang in there! and don't say sorry for posting negative things, that is what this place is here for! .

 

[Miss]

Aww Sunny! Sometimes we need a good cry huh? lol

Sounds like you have a MW who makes things happen Good for you hun. Hopefuly the doc will give you something to help with your sore arse hahaha Piles and constipation are not nice but easily curable - I have something from the doc called movicol which is a sachet of power you mix with water to help keeps things flowing - if it's offered to you Lemon and lime were he only ones I can stomache lol

As for the oils I have been using a blend of Neroli and tangerine with sweet almond and avacardo carrier oil - It's from a book dedicated to aromatherapy use in pregnancy so totally safe - Neroli for it's anti depressent and relaxation qualities and tangerine for it's skin regeneration and anxiety and stress relieving propperties. Only thing is Neroli in it's true form is expensive (one of the most expensive but totaly worth it as far as I am concerned) But obviously if you are sensitive to smells the orangy heady type smell might not be for you? If you are interested I can either give you the blend details or mix some up for you to try hun xx

 

[Sunnyb]

Thank you Miss, that's really generous of you. I don't have either of the oils you've mentioned at the moment. If you would blend some for me that would be brilliant, if you let me know how much it'll cost you, that way I can send you a payment for your time & oils etc. I've been Googling to try to find a product to buy, but can't seem to find anything that states it's safe during pregnancy.
If I could have something to drop on my pillow, bathe in or use for massage it would be great. I think my problem is relaxing, I'm so worried after my last labour & as soon as I get to bed mind seems to go into overdrive!!! I'm a terrible list maker & keep thinking there's so much to do before little one arrives, how will I cope, how will my little boy react etc? I am a born worrier & I accept what will be will be, but I think it's fear of the unknown to be honest.

Speaking to my midwife, posting on here & getting such great support & having a good old cry has seemed to help a lot & I no longer feel bad about feeling bad.

Thank you to everyone who's posted so far, it means a lot x

Sunnyb xxx

 

[Nanc]

Hi Sunny, really feel for you this morning as I am pretty fed up too. I think it's normal to feel really down at certain points. I got piles a few weeks back, and even though it was my only complaint at the time, I was really grumpy and upset all the time because the discomfort is so relentless. In addition you can't sleep which just makes you feel crap... God it's no wonder you're fed up.
Have you any blackout blinds? Even if you think you don't need them, they are a fantastic! I thought our bedroom was pretty dark, but I kept waking up and not getting back to sleep. With the blinds I am getting loads more sleep, it's been amazing the difference. You can get ones that you just put up with suckers for instant blackout.
I also take some calming tv or audiobook to bed with me, usually some light comedy like "porridge"... (It can't be too exciting) and just play it till I start to fall asleep... It helps my mind to empty otherwise I start thinking about the birth etc. and never get to sleep.
For constipation I have been drinking a big glass of prune juice every day for about 5 months. It's been brilliant although an acquired taste (better with ice) The only time I got piles was when I ran out. You can also microwave it and have it as a hot drink (mornings best) which works even better.
I've been burning ylang yang which is meant to be calming, and really nice, not sickly. I really like it. Maybe you could give it a go. Also Neils Yard do "mums bath oil" which is lovely and helps me relax.
If all else fails I find downloading Matthew McConnahey films always cheers me up as he's usually just in shorts.
Hope you get cheered up soon. Xxx

 

[Vicxzy]

for Sunny x

 

[nadine]

Aw you do sound alot like me

This time round (2nd pregnancy) I'm suffereing

I to have low iron n constipation, im currently on lacolose wich is doing the job n have steered clear or the piles so far, I hardly sleep I'm up at 7am with Lil lad then I'm on the go till about 10pm when he falls asleep, I usually go straight to bed but toss n turn can't sleep /over heat /heartburn n up 3/4 times a night needing to pee!!!! Oh is no use as he's to caught up in him self so don't help a dot, If anything adds to my stresses n worries, constantly got Ed ache n I've just got ride of a horrible cold to wake up with another n I think I e got hey fever??

I find my self being short with my little boy(which I hate) n feel quite alone to be honest

I'm just concentrating on the fact I've only got 8 weeks left an then it's on to new challenges

Try n keep ur head up hun, u will get there x x x

 

[nadine]

Ho n I have the effort , were I have a big emotional time at the mo with my sons father, as he's just come out of jail n wants to see his son for first time (my boys nearly 3) which messing my Ed up n not helping me n oh as it seems one rule for him n another for me x

 

[Miss]

You are most welcome hun - send me your address and I will get a plastic bottle from the chemist for posting - you will need to transfer it to a dark glass bottle tho so that it keeps better - you can buy them for pence at the chemists. Just to check due to the sweet almond oil - you do not have a nut allergy do you?

Such a shame you can't stand lavender at the moment tho - I don't know what I would do without it! How about a little ylang ylang in a burner or a couple of drops in a warm bath until this oil gets to you?

I know what you mean about the worry lol I have purposely sort out ways to relax and de-stress during this pregnancy and so far I feel I have done pretty well! My only real concern is my son as he is 11 and I am worried how he is going to react to a baby - 11 years is a long time to be on your own, but, deep down I know he will be fine - he is a good boy and very caring - makes me so proud I just don't want to do the wrong thing and him to turn into a terrible teen in a couple of years!!

You can do this hun! You have lots of support around you! Your Midwife, us lot here and a good OH by the sounds of it! xx

 

[Sunnyb]

Awww Nadine I feel for you too - must be hard with your lil boys dad being back on the scene. I'm
Very lucky cos my hubby is fantastically understanding towards me & very supportive. I shouted at Joseph last night cos of my tiredness & cried afterwards for being mean & grumpy!
Miss thank you sooooooo much! I'll inbox you my details, but please let me know how much it's costing you, as I don't want you to be out of pocket! I'm not allergic to nuts either, so the carrier oil is fine x
Nanc - I'll have a look at neal's yard stuff too x

Thanks again for your support girls, don't know what I'd do without this forum!

Sunnyb xxx

 

[Sunnyb]

Awww Nadine I feel for you too - must be hard with your lil boys dad being back on the scene. I'm
Very lucky cos my hubby is fantastically understanding towards me & very supportive. I shouted at Joseph last night cos of my tiredness & cried afterwards for being mean & grumpy!
Miss thank you sooooooo much! I'll inbox you my details, but please let me know how much it's costing you, as I don't want you to be out of pocket! I'm not allergic to nuts either, so the carrier oil is fine x
Nanc - I'll have a look at neal's yard stuff too x

Thanks again for your support girls, don't know what I'd do without this forum!

Sunnyb xxx