am I being stupid?

[Doodles]

hubby & I were discussing Christmas last night & I mentioned that I wanted to keep myself busy. He looked at me stupid & asked why. I couldn't believe he even needed to ask, but I kept my cool & simply said, "because we've been robbed of two first Christmas' this year & a family member (our dog, Loki, who was murdered on Easter Sunday).
He rolled his eyes & pulled a face & when I asked him what the face was for he said, "I just think we should forget about what we don't have & concentrate on what we do have" which of course led me to retaliate with "I am but it doesn't bloody stop it from hurting!"
So then we both went into a sulk.

Am I being stupid by letting the miscarriages & Loki's death upset me still at special occasions like Christmas? This is our first Christmas since losing Loki & it hurts like Hell, as does the thought that we should be celebrating a first Christmas but my stupid shitty body keeps things up.

 

[GemGemxxx]

You are not being stupid at all !! Christmas is a family time and of course these things are going to be on your mind . There are no right and wrongs when it comes to this . You feel how you feel and that's that . This is maybe your husbands way of coping with it and I don't think that men , not all men anyway can empathise with this as they do t go through the symptoms and the feelings we do .
Lots of virtual hugs to you
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[Doodles]

thank you x

 

[Rednursie]

No Hun you must definitely are not being stupid! You are just upset thinking about what you have lost. A lot of men seem to cope with these things differently ie nit dwelling on it. Massive hugs to you love, sounds like you've had a rubbish time of it. xxx

 

[CARNAT22]

Of course you are not being silly hun!

I sometimes think men are just programmed differently when it comes to things like miscarriages (and to some extent losses in general)

We've been through 3 due dates this year, OH barely acknowledged them and wouldn't have had a clue if I hadn't told him. He is very much of the attitude that we need to look forward and not back. I get this and totally agree but I cannot erase our losses from our history.

It's a shame to let this fester though, you've both said your piece and you'll have to agree to disagree. It doesn't mean he doesn't care but he probably thinks by not focusing on it and making a big deal he is somehow helping you to feel less hurt? I know that is why my OH behaves the way he does

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