Almost time to try...

[CornishGirl]

Hi all,

I was very active on this forum when conceiving my first and the community was a massive help for me during my pregnancy.

My little boy is now 15 months and me & the husband had planned to start trying from next month. The first time round we caught in cycle 3 DTD every other day. My husband absolutely hated it and had pretty much said he’d rather not ‘try’ and just not prevent this time.
Also our son is going through a phase of sleeping really badly which is putting my husband right off the thought of even just not preventing.

I’m really frustrated because this had been the plan from the beginning and now it’s coming to it, it’s looking like even if he does ditch the condoms, DTD will be so rare that our chances will be rubbish.

Has anyone got any advice for me from similar situations? I’ve tried talking to my husband, and he says he knows he wants a second but he’s scared we won’t cope. Looks like we’ll never find out at this rate.

 

[Browneyed Girl]

I would wait until your lo is more settled at night and your oh will probably feel more positive about the idea. Probably not what you want to hear sorry but I got pg when my lo was 12 months old and now have a 2yo and a 6 month old and I find the small age gap very hard work. Given the choice over again (and if I was a bit younger!) I would have waited until my lo was older, out of nappies and more independent before having another x

 

[Melly41]

Ho cornishgirl, my two were 20 months apart and yes it was hard work but they are 12 and 10 now and are very close and have a good bond. We were shattered and my DS wasnt a great sleeper but we got through. Is there anyway of taking it in turns to have lie in's so you both are always knackered? Maybe taking pressure off you both with a 'lets see what happens attitude' might be more helpful. Im sure he will come round...sometimes they just need a nudge in the right direction x

 

[CornishGirl]

Me and my sisters (4 of us) have between an 18 month and two year age gap and we’re all so close. It was amazing growing up. I really want that for my children and I’m willing to live through the hard work the closer age gap brings.
One problem I guess we have is that I’m still breastfeeding my son so my fertility won’t be as high. It could take us a long time to conceive and as my son is already 15 months we’ve already lost the chance for even the two year age gap.

Life doesn’t really ever work as planned so I’d like to at least stop preventing from next month like we’d planned.

I’ll have to think of a way to nudge the hubby. I want him to be happy about this too. I don’t want him to be scared.

 

[Melly41]

Best of luck hun even if you can in the next few months tge age gap will be fine. Im ttc now and my youngest in now 10 and im 42.....what am I doing haha! X

 

[Sunflower1]

Have you got any grandparents you can leave him with for a long weekend or something so you can have a romantic getaway around the right time of the month?

 

[treetrunks]

I think having them closer together is more beneficial, they can play together and activities are easier to find for one age group, probably schools are the same, they can share a room and they just grow up to be close later on in life.
Just to get your oh more positive lol. Xxx good luck x

 

[CornishGirl]

So I was brave and had a chat with him last night. He started saying every bone in his body is screaming against the idea of another but he knows in his heart he does want our son to have a sibling. He ended by suggesting that now he’s in his new job and he’ll have more time once settled then he’ll probably want to DTD more often than his current once or twice a month.

So I think his heart is with me still even if every bone in his body isn’t. I think that’s something?

 

[Sunflower1]

Once or twice a month is ok if you time it really well.

 

[Melly41]

Thats a good starting point and like sunflower said, if you time it right you should be ok. X