Advice please!

[urban23]

I’ve got a really close friend who has infertility problems and is currently undergoing her second round of IVF. One of our other friends is very close to her due date. I know she’s struggled with her being pregnant but I know it’s not in a horrible way and she’s done very well to cover it!

I’ve just told her I’m pregnant and of course she’s very happy for me but I know deep down inside it’s killing her! Has anyone got any advice of anything I can do or say?

 

[Browneyed Girl]

It's a very difficult situation to be in. I personally think you should be as low key as possible about the baby around her and don't bring the conversation up unless she does or unless it's relevant to what you're talking about. Don't send scan pictures and just generally be sensitive that it might be really hard for her (which it sounds like you are anyway). Particularly if you're meeting up with her and other friends that have children try not to let the conversation be all about babies, I've been there when I was having ivf and it really highlights the situation if you're the only one without children. People have lots of other things going on in their lives that don't involve kids but this can be forgotten in the excitement of a new baby. Good luck xx

 

[urban23]

Yeah with my other friend that’s what we tried to do, I guess I just needed some reassurance that that was the right way to go about it! I didn’t want her to think we purposefully leaving her out but yes thank you for the reassurance! Xx

 

[Blank_Page]

One of my friends desparately wants a baby and then ended up with PCOS and is finding it impossible to even know when she ovulates, which only happens 1-2 times per year for her and by the time she's found out its too late to get pregnant. She was always moaning about how all her friends are pregnant and just seem to rub it in her face. Then I got pregnant and was worried about telling her. I did tell her, but kept it secret from work a bit longer (I work with her) so I wanted to tell her so she found out from me and not our boss. She said she'd guessed anyway. Now when I see her she always talks all about babies! I thought she'd be more upset and she probably is deep down but she's also I think trying to live through me a little. I've had hyperemesis which has been horrendous so I think think thats made her feel better knowing its not just all positive living on a cloud.