advice needed please r.e sleeping and settling

[rusks]

i have gate crashed other threads but really need advice please.

i feel so demoralised reading the thread about some babies sleeping through, luke is up a lot in the night and is so unsettled, i'm worried there is something wrong.

we don't really have a routine at night and maybe this is the problem. we tend to put him in moses basket when we go bed(10ish) he wakes around 11.30 then again about three hours later if we're lucky he goes that long then again up to three hours a gain. he will sleep well in our arms or in bed with us but doesn't settle well after night feeds on his own hence me or OH are up for ages just holding him. we are now shattered and OH has to work in the week.

i changed his milk on tuesday as he seemed in pain and really windy/struggles to bring up his wind. since he has been on cow and gate premium (from sma gold) he has been having more regular bowel movements which are loose and yellow and incredibly smelly but he is still unsettled.

i had to resort to a dummy this morning, which i didn't want to do but it did settle him and now i feel guilty

i don't feel as though i am enjoying my baby as i should be as i'm concerned he is unhappy and this makes me unhappy.

i love him so much and i just want us all to be happy and content.

any suggestions would be very grateful thanks.

 

[Tina & Gabs]

Awww it sounds like you are having a hard time.

Don't compare your baby to others hun as they are all so different.

Luke may be a sucky baby (some babies have a strong sucking relflex for the first 3 months). Gabriella had this and I was breastfeeding and found she was using me as a human dummy! I ended up giving her a dummy; which I wasn't happy about but it helped so much. I gave it to her when she was tired or needed soothing and it really seemed to do the trick. It helped her to relax and in turn helped me to relax. She only used it for about 2 months and then refused it one night so I never gave it to her again and I haven't looked back.

Don't feel bad hun, Luke is still very young and a dummy may be just what he needs .

Also I think a good routine can help. We were quite relaxed at the beginning and used to keep Gabriella with us and then from about 7 weeks I think; we started getting her into a routine, bath, story and bed. It's good for her and it's good for us to have that time together also.
It all takes time and remember you are still getting to know each other.

Things will get better hun.

I hope I have helped a little bit

 

[skatty]

Oh no don't worry, Luke is so young and it is so normal that he wouldn't be sleeping through yet!! Leorah and I co slept for the first 6 weeks because she could not settle on her own at all, after this she suddenly turned a corner and went straight into her cot in her own room, the change happened so quickly.

We tried and tried to put her in a routine but she was having none of it and it just upset us all so we made a big decision that we'd go with the flow and trust that things would work out. By 10 weeks she was sleeping from 11pmish until 7/8am, we couldn't believe the change! We still kind of worried that her bedtime was so late but then all of a sudden (at about 4 months) over the period of about a week she bought her bedtime forward to 7/8pmish! We still have bumps in the road due to teéthing, illness etc but on the whole as she has matured she has devised her own routine. Anyway what I am trying to say is trust your baby, be there for him, don't compare to anyone else and you will have a baby that knows they can safely go to sleep and Mum and Dad will be there for him. He will start sleeping for longer and dummies are a life saver so don't worry about that either.

I do just want to add though that maybe you should keep trying different milks as Leorah is breastfed but would never settle and I found out that it was because she was intolerant of the milk and soy proteins from my diet, as soon as I cut these out all our settling problems dissappeared. Perhaps you could chat to your HV about formulas? Some babies are born with sensitive tummys but they get stronger as they mature. I did read in one book that babies are born too early so we should treat the first 3 months as the 4th trimester which means lots of closeness to mum, a dummy for the sucking reflex, maybe a swaddle and some white noise. When I look back on those first months and it wasn't long ago I totally see that the idea of a 4th trimester makes sense. Anyway sorry to have waffled but I just wanted to say you are doing great and it really does all get better, the first 2 months for us were tough also but I do stress maybe change the milk again if you think it's upsetting Luke as it is so easy to put right

 

[Miracle babe]

Aww bless you its sounds like you are having a tough time. I just wanted to offer you my support. It is still very early for him to be in a routine. Having said that we put Rowan into a bath bottle bed routine from two weeks, dont get me wrong its not an instant thing but with perseverence it does pay off. I also made a point of dressing him every morning and going out as I wanted him to differentiate between night and day.
I hope he settles for you soon, hang in there I promise it wont always be like this

 

[Lyndsey]

Don't judge your baby on anyone elses - they are all different.

I posted last week that Logan slept through but for the past 2 nights he has been up every 2 hours!!!

I find routine helps but as skatty says some babies don't do routines! You are still getting to know your little one and vice versa - give it time.

oh and regarding a dummy - I wasn't going to give Logan 1 but his need to suck was so great I gave in now he will use it once or twice a day to settle they do help and are a lifesaver if used properley,

Do you keep the lights low when he wakes at night? We rock Logan alot and say shhhhhh that seems to work for us!

 

[rusks]

thanks everyone great advice. i am going to go with it and pray that he is happier soon and more settled. xx its nice to know im not the only one and certainly won't be the last.

 

[Urchin]

When I talk now about how good Brody is sleeping and settling I am just grateful because he didn't sleep through till he was 9 months!

He's still really little and has a little tummy, TBH it sounds very normal for his age that he's a bit unsettled and waking up in the night. People whose babies sleep through at less than 3-4 months are VERY lucky!

 

[Alfiesmummy]

hun dont worry Luke is still only a wee little man at the minute and still trying to find his own routine.
As for the dummy thing hun dont feel guilty i always said i didnt want alfie to have one but on day 3 gave him one and i fekt so guilty i took it away, the times now i wish i hadnt and he wont take one, i just think iuts a comfort thing so it isnt bad.
your doing great hun but try persevere Luke will settle soon, when he starts sleeping a bit more he wilkl turn it round, alfie still isnt the best tempered baby but he is who he is.

 

[lozzi]

I have a routine with ellouise that i started at 2 weeks.

it goes like this:

about 7.30pm she has a bath and gets into her sleepsuit and gro-bag

then she lies on her bf pillow and feeds more a less constant on and off for an hour.. keep stimulating her to make sure she doesnt get disinterested or fall asleep

then get her to sleep on my lap.. when she goes "floppy" i put her in my bed

then when i go to bed i put her straight into her moses basket.





Literally i think the relaxation of the bath... then the "continual" grazing/feeding helps her sleep..

my sister said from as early an age as poss feed ur baby as much as possible at night and they sleep thru


i found this worked for me...


but EVERY baby is different.. so what works for one person might not work for another...

but everything is worth a good go..



hope this helps and i hope ur lil man sleeps thru for you soon xx