Mike
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Me and my wife are new to the third tri so not many of u may of seen our posts before so hello to all our current friends on the forum and everybody else that is nursing thier little bubbas towards a healthy pregnancy.
For anyone that does not already know me, I'm Mike. My wife ellie is 27 weeks pregnant.
I'm so so happy to know i am going to be a dad at last. we have been trying for a long time and have finally got what we wanted. so far pregnancy is all going well. (for her anyway, lol, for me its all cold nights with no covers and she has seemed to developed a annoying snoring rythem that could someday become a hit in the music charts), apart from that all is well. she's happy im happy.
Well i say happy, actually I'm shitting a brick!!!!!
Its not that im scared of being a dad, its not that im scared that things will change and that my life will never be the same again. I'm looking forward to our new life with our little Alfie. The problem is, coming from a fathers point of view anyway, I have personally seen to much when i worked in our local hospital as a porter years ago. I keep having this reacuring nightmare every single night for the past 5 weeks. just over and over and over, everything the is the saem little detail everytime.
The reason why is that i love my wife more and i could ever tell her. she's my best friend, the love of my life, my soul mate, my lobster. theres nothing i wouldnt do for her, and now Alfie is on his way, I now have him to share all that with aswell.
Heres the story.
When i worked as a porter, sometimes i be sent to womens health clinic, or labour ward, all places regarding pregnancies to transfer women to and from different departments. But there's one event that has all of a sudden cropped back into my mind.
It was about 11pm and i waiting for the a midwife to get a paitent ready so I could take her downstairs to wait for her lift home. while waiting i could hear the normal screams that are normal for that place while the babies were born.
all of a sudden I was tragged by the arm with no warning into one of the room's and told she needs to get up to surgury ASAP. So I snapped into gear and immediately got her going on her way. I remember running with the bed as fast as i could, considering the beds weigh about half a tonne, down the halway shouting at other people to "mind thier backs".
The lady on the bed was at this point was not in a good way. She looked pal as a ghost, barely moving, speech was slured, eyed wandering everywhere. I will never be able to forget her face. White lady about 25 years old, blonde hair, green eyes and cracked lips like they were very dry.
I could tell by the look on the 3 midwifes faces that she was in trouble. The lady on my left stayed lent over the bad all the time talking to her saying "keep looking at me Sofie", But i never even thought about what was wrong, my goal was just to get her to surgury so that they could get the baby out of harms way.
All of a sudden the midwife to my left shouted stop, which i did. The same women then pulled the bed backwards into a room. I placed the bed in the middle of a room which was not surgury and then stepped back into a corner out the way so i was close by if they needed help moving her again.
I stood there watching as pure mahem broke loose.
One women still lent over the bed talking to sofie, one women furiously searching through cubpards, and the other midwife talking in a urgent voice on the phone franticlly trying to get a surgen to meet them in this room.
Obviously at this point i was no use, so i just kept shut and hoped that all of a sudden one of the women would suddenly stand up and say, "she's ok now". I remember praying in my head for this women that i didnt even know, praying that some miracle would happen and she would be ok.
After about 2 mins of them poking around talking technical stuff to each other all 3 women suddenly slowed down. I sort of perked up out of my stunned glaze of amazement that i was stuck in, thinking that she was ok now. one of the midwifes then looked up and turned her eyes and me. I knew this particuar midwife pretty well and she knew me. She knew what was going through my mind just by looking at my face.
All of a sudden she shook her head and it was then i realised that Sofie was not ok. Sofie had in fact died right in front of me. These 3 midwifes had worked thier ars of doing everything they could to help her.
The same midwife then walked me out of the room and hugged me and then said "cry on me if you need to". She knew me well and knew that i was an absoloute softy.
I then watering up becasue of what i had just seen. I kept thinking i should of moved her quicker.
The midwife then looked at me and started to explain what had happend.
I assumed that she was in breach or something like that, but she explained that she had already had her baby boy. But he did not survive. He died during birth. They then noticed that Sofie had developed a bleed. That was why i was asked to rush her to surgury.
I was broken up about what i had just seen infront of my very own eyes.
I had watched this young good looking lady bleed out and die all within 5 minutes. And then to find out what had happend to her son just killed me.
I then walked back to the ward to collect my CB radio and bag and return back downstairs.
I got back to the ward desk looking for my things in silence when i heard a man burst into tears shouting "NO, YOUR WRONG, YOUR WRONG". The man was Sofies husband.
It suddenly hit me that watching Sofie go through what she did was nothing compared to watching her husband life being demolished in front of my very eyes.
At this point in my life I could not even imagine what that man was going through.
But now I'm older, I'm wiser, I'm married, I'm going to be a dad whether i like it or not and in about 13 weeks im going to be in a room next to a bed holding my wifes hand as she gives birth to my new little treasure, and becasue of this i am now non-stop worrying and every single night, like I said I have a reacuring nightmare. The nightmare is my story. My true life event that i was un lucky enough to take part in, except im not the porter. I'm sofies husband. Ellie is on that bed. And Alfie is that sweet little baby.
I'm scared to sleep!!!!!!
I wake up everynight in tears and immediately hug Ellie and dont let go until after i fall asleep. I will never let go of her, I will never let my little boy go. They are my family and not even the lord almighty will get them out of my grip. They are mine for good.
I found out that this kind of thing is very rare. I meen I worked in that hospital for over 5 years and transported 4-500 women with thier newborns around the hospital and in all those years this was the only occasion i had any personal affect on.
It turned out soon after that Sofie was a drug abuser. You wouldnt know by looking at her, but thats what caused the bleed.
I am sorry if i have affected anyone telling this story but sometime you just have to tell a stranger whats bothering you to get through hard times.
I cant bare to tell my wife my little story because i want to appear that im staying strong for her sake. I just wish she knew how much she means to me.
Sorry if i seem to bore anyone with my story, and thanks to anyone who and has this far.
Cant wait for April 23rd so this torture can be over with.
Mike.
For anyone that does not already know me, I'm Mike. My wife ellie is 27 weeks pregnant.
I'm so so happy to know i am going to be a dad at last. we have been trying for a long time and have finally got what we wanted. so far pregnancy is all going well. (for her anyway, lol, for me its all cold nights with no covers and she has seemed to developed a annoying snoring rythem that could someday become a hit in the music charts), apart from that all is well. she's happy im happy.
Well i say happy, actually I'm shitting a brick!!!!!
Its not that im scared of being a dad, its not that im scared that things will change and that my life will never be the same again. I'm looking forward to our new life with our little Alfie. The problem is, coming from a fathers point of view anyway, I have personally seen to much when i worked in our local hospital as a porter years ago. I keep having this reacuring nightmare every single night for the past 5 weeks. just over and over and over, everything the is the saem little detail everytime.
The reason why is that i love my wife more and i could ever tell her. she's my best friend, the love of my life, my soul mate, my lobster. theres nothing i wouldnt do for her, and now Alfie is on his way, I now have him to share all that with aswell.
Heres the story.
When i worked as a porter, sometimes i be sent to womens health clinic, or labour ward, all places regarding pregnancies to transfer women to and from different departments. But there's one event that has all of a sudden cropped back into my mind.
It was about 11pm and i waiting for the a midwife to get a paitent ready so I could take her downstairs to wait for her lift home. while waiting i could hear the normal screams that are normal for that place while the babies were born.
all of a sudden I was tragged by the arm with no warning into one of the room's and told she needs to get up to surgury ASAP. So I snapped into gear and immediately got her going on her way. I remember running with the bed as fast as i could, considering the beds weigh about half a tonne, down the halway shouting at other people to "mind thier backs".
The lady on the bed was at this point was not in a good way. She looked pal as a ghost, barely moving, speech was slured, eyed wandering everywhere. I will never be able to forget her face. White lady about 25 years old, blonde hair, green eyes and cracked lips like they were very dry.
I could tell by the look on the 3 midwifes faces that she was in trouble. The lady on my left stayed lent over the bad all the time talking to her saying "keep looking at me Sofie", But i never even thought about what was wrong, my goal was just to get her to surgury so that they could get the baby out of harms way.
All of a sudden the midwife to my left shouted stop, which i did. The same women then pulled the bed backwards into a room. I placed the bed in the middle of a room which was not surgury and then stepped back into a corner out the way so i was close by if they needed help moving her again.
I stood there watching as pure mahem broke loose.
One women still lent over the bed talking to sofie, one women furiously searching through cubpards, and the other midwife talking in a urgent voice on the phone franticlly trying to get a surgen to meet them in this room.
Obviously at this point i was no use, so i just kept shut and hoped that all of a sudden one of the women would suddenly stand up and say, "she's ok now". I remember praying in my head for this women that i didnt even know, praying that some miracle would happen and she would be ok.
After about 2 mins of them poking around talking technical stuff to each other all 3 women suddenly slowed down. I sort of perked up out of my stunned glaze of amazement that i was stuck in, thinking that she was ok now. one of the midwifes then looked up and turned her eyes and me. I knew this particuar midwife pretty well and she knew me. She knew what was going through my mind just by looking at my face.
All of a sudden she shook her head and it was then i realised that Sofie was not ok. Sofie had in fact died right in front of me. These 3 midwifes had worked thier ars of doing everything they could to help her.
The same midwife then walked me out of the room and hugged me and then said "cry on me if you need to". She knew me well and knew that i was an absoloute softy.
I then watering up becasue of what i had just seen. I kept thinking i should of moved her quicker.
The midwife then looked at me and started to explain what had happend.
I assumed that she was in breach or something like that, but she explained that she had already had her baby boy. But he did not survive. He died during birth. They then noticed that Sofie had developed a bleed. That was why i was asked to rush her to surgury.
I was broken up about what i had just seen infront of my very own eyes.
I had watched this young good looking lady bleed out and die all within 5 minutes. And then to find out what had happend to her son just killed me.
I then walked back to the ward to collect my CB radio and bag and return back downstairs.
I got back to the ward desk looking for my things in silence when i heard a man burst into tears shouting "NO, YOUR WRONG, YOUR WRONG". The man was Sofies husband.
It suddenly hit me that watching Sofie go through what she did was nothing compared to watching her husband life being demolished in front of my very eyes.
At this point in my life I could not even imagine what that man was going through.
But now I'm older, I'm wiser, I'm married, I'm going to be a dad whether i like it or not and in about 13 weeks im going to be in a room next to a bed holding my wifes hand as she gives birth to my new little treasure, and becasue of this i am now non-stop worrying and every single night, like I said I have a reacuring nightmare. The nightmare is my story. My true life event that i was un lucky enough to take part in, except im not the porter. I'm sofies husband. Ellie is on that bed. And Alfie is that sweet little baby.
I'm scared to sleep!!!!!!
I wake up everynight in tears and immediately hug Ellie and dont let go until after i fall asleep. I will never let go of her, I will never let my little boy go. They are my family and not even the lord almighty will get them out of my grip. They are mine for good.
I found out that this kind of thing is very rare. I meen I worked in that hospital for over 5 years and transported 4-500 women with thier newborns around the hospital and in all those years this was the only occasion i had any personal affect on.
It turned out soon after that Sofie was a drug abuser. You wouldnt know by looking at her, but thats what caused the bleed.
I am sorry if i have affected anyone telling this story but sometime you just have to tell a stranger whats bothering you to get through hard times.
I cant bare to tell my wife my little story because i want to appear that im staying strong for her sake. I just wish she knew how much she means to me.
Sorry if i seem to bore anyone with my story, and thanks to anyone who and has this far.
Cant wait for April 23rd so this torture can be over with.
Mike.
Last edited by a moderator:
This sort of thing is so, so rare though. Do you think it might help if you went to talk through it all with someone before your wife's due date? It can't help bottling it up, not sleeping because of it and trying to keep it to yourself so that you don't worry your wife? The birth of your child should be the most amazing experience of your life, and while we all know that occasionally tragedies like this do happen it's important to remember that it is incredibly unlikely. I can't imagine how you must feel having witnessed it yourself, and I do hope you can find something that helps you cope with it that so that you can enjoy being there for the birth. Were you offered any sort of counselling afterwards?
long time no see! Glad to hear you and your wife and the pregnancy is going well 
You will be fine, and sail through with flying colours, before you know it you will be on posting us some lovely piccies of Alfie! xxx
