9 months Now....

[Poppy_12]

Hi ladies,

I’ve had a good few months away from the forum as I’ve tried to actively stop obsessing about TTC (although I have been still trying if that makes sense).

Anyway, 9 months into TTC now and still nothing. My question is, when do people start thinking about extra help? Advice from health professionals etc. I realise it’s probably not at this stage, but just thinking into the future.

I’m not sure I’d even qualify for any help in the future anyway as I am already blessed wit my dearest son, who is 5 years old. With him, we literally fell pregnant in the second month of trying so this experience is rather new to me, hence the questions!

Thanks, as always, ladies. X

 

[liz85]

Normally a year of trying. I went around 7 months as I was having issues with spotting. They took bloods but told me to return in a few months if no success. So I had to go back as I still wasn’t pregnant at the time x

 

[SugaryIris]

Hi poppy, I’m just going into month 10, I went to the drs in month 9 because family history means I have 3 sisters who have needed ivf, they did bloods but told me they can’t do anything else until 12 months.

I hope you don’t need help and you get your bfp before then x

 

[Poppy_12]

Thank you both ladies. I was thinking a Year was about right so you’ve helped me with your replies.

Good luck to you both on your journeys. Xx

 

[Maximus17]

It's nearly been a year for me so 11 cycles. My GP told me that because I have one child, NHS won't cover IVF, and I am nearly 40 years old so I can only see that we keep trying or give after another year or so, sooo sad

 

[alwayscoffee]

I went at 4 months because I was spotting all the time and bleeding after sex. I'm now at 6 months and found out I have diminished ovarian reserve. I'm seeing a specialist in a couple weeks.

How old are you?

 

[katie88]

Hi Poppy,

I'm at 3 years trying with no luck. We're about to start IVF in the next few months. My doctors wouldn't put anyone forward for tests until they had been trying for 12-18 months. I was 27 when I started trying and have just gone 30 now. Unless you have any medical reasons that you know of, as to why you haven't caught yet, your doctor may make you wait a few more months...

 

[alwayscoffee]

Hi Poppy,

I'm at 3 years trying with no luck. We're about to start IVF in the next few months. My doctors wouldn't put anyone forward for tests until they had been trying for 12-18 months. I was 27 when I started trying and have just gone 30 now. Unless you have any medical reasons that you know of, as to why you haven't caught yet, your doctor may make you wait a few more months...

I understand that generalization of only helping someone after a year of trying, but I think it's also garbage in some cases. No offense to you, I just think that doing some basic tests (blood labs and an ultrasound for follicle count) doesn't hurt anyone. She won't know if she has any problems that are preventing her if she doesn't get checked first.

Had I waited a year, as recommended, I would have had a worse FSH level and my chances would have been even more slim. I'm only 28. I believe in being proactive and finding a doctor that cares. If she has this gut feeling that something isn't right, she needs to find someone who will listen to her. 9 months is long enough. We are paying for it after all, at least here in the USA. It's our bodies, so we should be able to do what we want. Again, this is not directed towards you, haha.

One of the best fertility doctors in Beverly Hills, CA believes that after 6 months of trying and having sex 2-3 times a week, you should see someone if you aren't pregnant. Also, most doctors say if you are over 35 and have been trying for 6 months, you should see a doctor right away.

 

[katie88]

I understand that generalization of only helping someone after a year of trying, but I think it's also garbage in some cases. No offense to you, I just think that doing some basic tests (blood labs and an ultrasound for follicle count) doesn't hurt anyone. She won't know if she has any problems that are preventing her if she doesn't get checked first.

Had I waited a year, as recommended, I would have had a worse FSH level and my chances would have been even more slim. I'm only 28. I believe in being proactive and finding a doctor that cares. If she has this gut feeling that something isn't right, she needs to find someone who will listen to her. 9 months is long enough. We are paying for it after all, at least here in the USA. It's our bodies, so we should be able to do what we want. Again, this is not directed towards you, haha.

One of the best fertility doctors in Beverly Hills, CA believes that after 6 months of trying and having sex 2-3 times a week, you should see someone if you aren't pregnant. Also, most doctors say if you are over 35 and have been trying for 6 months, you should see a doctor right away.

I agree with you hun, trust me, waiting for my doctor for the green light was awful, but in the UK it's works differently sadly. Just wanted to be honest with what she might hear from a doctor. Fingers crossed that her doctor is kind and sees that shes close enough to the 12 month mark and puts her through...

 

[IVW]

Following on from the above, I plan to get tested after this cycle or possibly the next if i dont get a BFP and i will honestly admit, thats purely because i am being impatient and just want to rule out from the off that there is nothing 'wrong' with either of us.

If it means lying that we have been trying for a year, then i will - a little white lie never hurt anyone and i have barely used the nhs services in my 31 years of being on this planet, so why not.

Talking to a guy at work whos OH forced him to get checked and they had been trying less than a year, quite a bit less, i think, so i thought 'sod it' i will as well. They got the all clear, so they will continue as they were in the hope it will just happen, just with a bit more trying to be done.

I have learnt alot in the last few weeks and its all quite a scary process, but i plan to face it head on and try as much as we can, without delay as we arent getting any younger

 

[MoominGirl]

I agree totally with alwayscoffee but from a UK perspective, they will want you to have been trying for at least 12 months. NHS won't fund IVF if you have a child already but you should still be entitled to investigations I believe.

I did go after less than a year but as issues had already started after coming off the pill, doctor was happy to investigate sooner. I was honest but they knew too much so I couldn't have lied anyway!! Some people think it's wrong to lie about it but my view having been through the process is that everything takes so long waiting for appointments, cycle days etc that I really don't see the issue. Also is OH willing to have a sperm test?

I think the main thing having been a long termer is to know what the results will mean for you and how you will deal with that. That means your partner too. It's absolutely fine if you feel like you're information gathering, everything comes back ok and you feel reassured but if everything is ok will you feel more pressured if it doesn't happen quickly? If there are problems, how will you deal with it? We had lots of problems once I stopped the pill and none of them we expected and they were on both sides. Of course it meant there was something to fix and for me I like to be prepared so that was fine for me but OH would have avoided testing for much longer. Although I struggled more overall there were definitely parts where he struggled more than I did. I hope that makes sense and is helpful.

 

[Poppy_12]

Ladies, thank you all so much for your replies. Sorry I’m just catching up on them.

Maximum, I’m so sorry to hear that about He IVF. I’m really praying you get a BFP. I can’t imagone how it starts to take over your mind waiting...that’s why I had to detach myself. Alwayscoffee, sending so much luck your way for IVF starting. Got everything crossed for you. In answer to your question, I am 32. I don’t think I have medical probs with conceiving son so well, but then again I don’t think I’ve been ovulating this time as always negative when I test pretty much?

Moomin, I totally agree about the concept of just preparing yourself either way. That’s how I feel - just the lack of control over the situation entirely. Then people keep asking ‘why I’m not adding to the family when my little boy is getting older now’ I don’t want to advertise that we’ve been trying but what the hell do you say?!

Urgh, just feeling a little down today about it but I’ll be fine tomorrow, I’m sure.

Thank you ladies for your advice and input. Xx