:( :(

[hayley_17]

i hate that people are forever making me feel like a bad person, because im 17 and im havin a baby. Before i got pregnant i had the best friends ever... really supportive & helpful & i could tell them anything, but now they have all changed.
Someone who was like my best friend b4 seems like a complete stranger. Im alwayz the one who has 2 make the effort 2 speak 2 her & ask how she is. She's forever saying how big i've got, even though i havent got that big, i'm still in all the same clothes i was before. I no she cant possibly understand what im going through but ever since she found out i was having a boy she has totally blanked me out of her life. She was great when she didnt no what i was having, she offered to take the baby out 4 a day 2 give me a break n stuff. I've now realised that she only would have done that if the baby was a girl. She wanted to be able to play happy families with her boyfriend. This has really got me down. I used 2 be able 2 tell her everything but now i cant. I told her how i felt & how scared i was and all she said was 'well you shouldn't have got pregnant if you didnt think you would be a good mum.'
I was so shocked i didnt no what 2 say. I am really scared that i wont be a good mum, scared that my 'maternal instincts' wont kick in. She made out like i got pregnant on purpose when i didn't. I also told her my biggest worry at the moment. I don't enjoy being pregnant... I think that makes me sound like a bad person & like i don't want this little boy. I do want him, i cant wait 2 have him with me, i just feel so awful right now, im not enjoying it. When i said this, she gave me this look of disgust n said, 'if you didn't want the baby then you should have got an abortion.'
I just went crazy trying to explain myself but this look of disgust stayed on her face. I dont no what has happened 2 her, she used 2 be so great and now she is just bein the worst friend.
Now i don't want to tell anyone how i'm feeling, because im scared they will think the same. Everybody looks down on me, even my own 'friends'. i do have some friends who i speak 2 about things and they help me feel better, but she was supposed 2 be like my closest friend.
I feel so down, got the words ringing in my head that she said 2 me... that i'm going to be a bad mum, that i've gotten reali fat... everything. I no that she cant possibly be my friend.
Sorry 4 the long post, just needed to get it off my chest... i could do with all the advice you can give. I feel reali awful & reali don't want to feel like this.
Hope you're all ok...
Hayley xx

 

[Izzy]

I really feel for you. You don't need people like that to bring you down. Its wrong to say those things.

She's not exactly a friend if she treats you so badly, its harsh but maybe youre better off without her. I've found when i've told some of my friends that i'm pregnant, they've gone weird on me too - and some of them i've not spoke to since, and probably won't ever now.

Why not focus on those friends of yours who are being kind and supportful - thats what you need right now. I can't speak for your friend because i don't know her, but you say she wants to play happy families, so do you think in a way she might be jealous of the fact youre pregnant? Just trying to think of a motif...

Well anyway this probably hasn't helped much, but keep your chin up, because it seems like you got some really good mates on here for one thing, who won't ever say mean stuff to you!

Izzy

 

[hayley_17]

Thanks Izzy, you have helped. I no that i dont need her, its just hard because we have been friends 4 so many years. I am going to just concentrate on my friends who are supportive. I thought that she might be jealous & thats why she was bein the way she was, but i wasnt sure.
Thanks for your reply, its nice 2 no that people do understand how im feelin.
Take care
Hayley xx

 

[Jaidy]

Hi Hayley,

Im not in exactly the same situation as you but similar.

I have been engaged for 3 years and my fiance and I are now trying to conceive. Im 20, 21 in Nov and I have had lots of my friends telling me im stupid for wanting a baby so young and that I should live my life, etc, etc, etc.

These comments are hurtful but they are no reflection on me; its my life and I shall do what I choose and to the best of my ability. You will be a fantastic mum I can assure you. It sounds to me that your friend may be a slightly bit jealous...??? Often people say hurtful things when they are jealous because they dont know how to handle it.

Enjoy your pregnancy and discard the negative comments, I know what its like but your better than that, and so is your baby.

Im prepared for the string of abuse im going to get from some people when I hopefully, soon, fall pregnant and its none of their business.

I hope this has made you feel a little better.

Love to you and bump and babydust to me!!

xxxxxxxx

 

[*saulino*]

HI

Im so sorry you had to hear that from your friend.
When i fell preg i hung out with mostly guys they all told me i was stupid cuz i was only 18 and i should enjoy my life .
But really they admitted they were just upset cuz they felt as they were losing out on a good friend to hang out with and oh did i mention their drinking buddy lol, yup used to be a party girl lol.
Now that ive had Kiara guess what i have about four of my guy friends whos gf are preg , how about that?
Well it doesnt matter what people say as long as you wnat yoru baby thats all taht matters preg canbe a long and emotional ride but we all get through it and your friend might just be a little jelous cuz your preg either cuz shes not or cuz she might feel as though shes losing you as a friend?
Ive lost tons of friends i havent talked to in so long and i really do miss them but now realize its been my true friends who stuck by me and came to teh hospital to greet Kiara into this world.
Stick with teh ones who are there for you they will be the ones to talk to and support you through this.
Sorry this is so long
Hope you feel better and remember you always have us to talk ot you if need it thats what were here for.
xxx Katrina

 

[lauramumof2]

Hayley,
Thats just people for you! Its probably common no matter what age you are and these folks arent worth bothering about. You should concentrate on making friends with other girls in a similar situation. Im 28 and dont see my old friends as much. I dont have as much in common now with them and going to the pub to get pissed isnt as good an idea when you are up with someone small in the early hours but you will find you dont really miss it.

Smile, you have friends on here

 

[amyknight88]

Aww babes

You won't know your real friends until after the baby is here, thats what i think anyway. At first my mates were well chuffed then the novelty wore off and they started getting annoyed because i couldnt go out etc, then when carey was first born they wanted to know me again now theyve heard him cry and seen him poo they want nothing to do again. Id say from having 8 proper close mates ive gone to having 3.

I can't wait for you to get back in UK again hun it will be good to meet up and get to know each other properly, let our little guys meet aswel

Hope you start to feel better soon

Lots of love chick xx

 

[Sarah&Braydon]

me meet to.

HAYLEY
i know i have spoken to u on msn and here but i KNOW that you will be a GREAT mum all your fears, have been with us all, and you dont need Mates who say things like that to u, i used to be in a big gang but now have 3 m8s and then they cant always be bothered. like amy sed ull find out who ya real mates are a couple of weeks after your baby is here!
and i personally think that having a baby younger than older is better as wen they get to 18 u can still party he he

if u ever need to tlk bout worrys or nething email or tlk to me on MSN im here wen u need me babe

 

[amyknight88]

Exactly!

whos up for it?! 18yrs from now where all off on a girls holiday

Our boys will be ashamed! haha

 

[Sarah&Braydon]

that is my aiim in life embarrass me lil man lol

(his found his willy lol)

 

[amyknight88]

lol! awww

Im gonna save this convo and show him when he's older

 

[Sarah&Braydon]

lol
good plan

 

[hayley_17]

Thanks everyone!! i feel alot better 2day i spoke 2 my 'friend' about it n she said the reason she was so harsh was because i have got boring now... im not going out with them, im not drinkin n doin the things they do. she didnt seem 2 understand that i dont wana do all that stuff!! she didnt apologise n jus sed more things so i just that she wasnt what i needed right now, i need friends, not people who jus make me feel bad. shes text me since sayin im just stupid, but im ignoring her.
i reali cant wait 2 get back 2 england! i feel at the moment that you guys on here are better friends than people who live close 2 me... i still have 4 really close friends, but that will probably change when my little man is here!
n im definitely up for that holiday!! lol we'll still be fairly young... our boys will be sooo embarrassed lol
thanks everyone, you really cheered me up
hope you're all ok
lotsa luv xxx

 

[*saulino*]

Hi hun

We will always be here for you if you need anything.
Im glad your better today and dont worry about your friend cuz obviously shes not a true friend or she would be here for ya.
xxxx Katrina

 

[Sarah&Braydon]

hayley i know wot u mean, i am alot closer to u guys than people i live near.

 

[willow1010]

awww hayley u dont need ppl like that. i used to be in a big gang of m8z n now i have connor, star and carley. all my m8z were really excited 4 me and then when bliss came they were all like "omg shes cryin, omg shes pooped, willow u need 2 change her" when i took her out to show em n now ther like "dont u wanna stay home wiv ur precious lil princess" when i told them how much i loved havin her home.

yeah!! 18 yrs frm now lets all go partyin

love xx willow xx

 

[Strangeness]

I don't have many close friends anymore now I am married and have a baby. I had a close friend and we used to do so much together, then I met my husband and she turned into such a cow! She used to tell me constantly that my relationship would fail cos I could never hold a relationship down with anyone and just put everything I said down. When we got engaged she still told me it wouldn't last and just laughed at me. Then I told her I was pregnant and she called me stupid! This was coming from a girl who at the point I found out was 7 months pregnant herself and she couldn't even tell me the father's name and then called me stupid! In the end we drifted apart and now we don't speak but send a card for our son's and each other's birthdays and thats it and to me that is for the best. The most important people in my life are my son and husband so that's all that matters!

 

[saraUK]

People are very selfish.I am 2 months pregnant and found out a week ago today.I can't think straight because my bf left me, though not too bothered, his family don't give a crap and my family think its best to get an abortion.I see their views, and would prefer to have a baby in a stable relationship with good income, but abortion is horrible.Since I found out my friends haven't come to see me, they don't ring me, nothing.I haven't known them ages, but I would always go visit them when ever they needed to talk.I said I felt scared and lonely, but they couldn't get off their asses to come see me.You have known your mate ages though, and how i'm seeing it, is that she reckons you wouldn't beable to hang out like you did etc.As my so called friends last year said when I didn't have money to go drinking with, said I was turning boring, maybe she thinks you will grow up a bit quicker than she does, meaning you wont have anything to talk about.Why don't you just ask her, shes obviously angry at you its seems, even before you found out you are having a boy.She thinks you will change, and maybe that scares her.Good luck though, xxx

 

[hayley_17]

thanks hun... i have spoken 2 her since but she is just being the same... thinks im boring and that i dont make the effort 2 see my friends! im constantly ringing them, texting them 2 see how they are!! but its ok. i see now that ive found my real friends, the ones who have stayed great 2 me. out of a big group i think i have 5 left!! more will go when ive had him i think but i dont mind. ive made some amazing friends on here & they have really helped me & supported me.
i hope you feel better soon. i no what its like to be alone, my x left me after i got pregnant, i was about 2 months aswell. it sounds like you no what you want, you will be a fantastic mummy im sure & im sure your family will come round. if ur ex bf doesnt want to have anything to do with the baby its his loss, thats how i see it now. keep ur chin up & stay positive
how old are you by the way?? if you ever wana chat my msn is [email protected]
take care
hayley xx