6 months 'trying' - Advice needed plz

[IVW]

Hi all,

My partner and i have been ttc for 6 months and when i say ttc, i say this quite loosely as when we started we were just ttc at any time of the month until my younger sister, who is currently pregnant, educated me on the whole cycle thing and it actually shocked me at how small the window is.

So i downloaded the Flo app and ttc on the first day it said we had a high chance and unfortunately that was the only time, as we had a friend living with us, so as you can imagine it wasnt the easiest of times lol.

I am 4 days late and have had certain symptoms, but did a test yesterday and it was a big fat negative, which was disheartening, but i have a busy social month this month, so i know we can try properly this month.

My question is, with the 5 day window, is it best to go everyday or every other?

I am also buying ovulation sticks this weekend to ensure i am actually ovulating - which is also a very new thing my sister educated me on.

I now feel quite stupid that, as a woman, i actually didn't know the full ins and outs of conceiving

Please tell me i am not the only one?x (i must learn all the abbreviations)

 

[MrsP513]

Hi. I felt totally the same way. All the different test and charting. They make out that sex just once can get you pregnant. But that’s just not quite try. I’m still learning the abbreviations too

 

[Sunflower1]

The month I got pregnant we did every other day until I seemed very fertile and then every day for 3 days. As well as opks, watch the CM...that's the best sign.

 

[IVW]

The month I got pregnant we did every other day until I seemed very fertile and then every day for 3 days. As well as opks, watch the CM...that's the best sign.

Is that a good sign of ovulation? and should grab the OH ?

 

[Akua]

Google the SMEP - that might help

 

[WinterWolf]

When you're most fertile you should notice you have cervical mucus that looks and feels like raw egg whites. It's the stuff sperm survive well in so your body releases it around the time you ovulate. Try to have sex every day you see it.

 

[IVW]

Google the SMEP - that might help

Helpful read, thank you. I am learning everyday with this whole 'how to get pregnant malarky' who knew it was so 'difficult'!

 

[DeeDeeAbi]

I was also mega naive when TTC. I remember coming off the pill and having sex that night and thinking....oooo this could be it! How further from the truth could I get? You just get it drummed into you at school how quickly you can get pregnant if not careful. When I looked into it I was also really surprised at it all, felt very ashamed that at the age of 30 I didn't know hardly anything about ovulation!!

 

[IVW]

I was also mega naive when TTC. I remember coming off the pill and having sex that night and thinking....oooo this could be it! How further from the truth could I get? You just get it drummed into you at school how quickly you can get pregnant if not careful. When I looked into it I was also really surprised at it all, felt very ashamed that at the age of 30 I didn't know hardly anything about ovulation!!

Phew! I’m not the only one, I feel stupid that baby sister is telling me about how it all works.

I have only just now realised my cycle is 35 days, not 28! So I definitely know my test last nights was a waste of time, as the wicked witch is coming in the next few days, which I’m dreading, as the last few periods have been horrendous!

How long have you been ttc? This forum is definitely helping me, that’s for sure x

 

[Hayley92]

Hi!

It’s different for everyone, but I got an idea off of my friend and it worked for both of us. Find out the week your fertile (I used Mother & Baby Ovulation Calendar). And I had sex once or twice a day on those 5 days (incl. The day you ovulate). And it worked.

Good luck and hope something happens soon! x

 

[DeeDeeAbi]

Fortunately I've since had two boys- was TTC for 5 months with first and only one with second. It consumes you bloody fast though, frightening! Hopefully your TTC journey will be short- though there are so many amazing ladies on here who have had longer journeys but offer so many lovely words of support. I found through temping that I ovulated day 15/16. I also took baby aspirin on the months I conceived xx

 

[IVW]

Hi!

It’s different for everyone, but I got an idea off of my friend and it worked for both of us. Find out the week your fertile (I used Mother & Baby Ovulation Calendar). And I had sex once or twice a day on those 5 days (incl. The day you ovulate). And it worked.

Good luck and hope something happens soon! x

Ok, so AF showed up today, so on average my cycle is around 34 days, so I am a bit clearer on what and when we need to be DTD.

So the flo app is saying the 15th is when I will be most fertile, but my sister said do the ovulation sticks two days before and everyday after that to see if I am ovulating - does that sound about right?

 

[IVW]

Fortunately I've since had two boys- was TTC for 5 months with first and only one with second. It consumes you bloody fast though, frightening! Hopefully your TTC journey will be short- though there are so many amazing ladies on here who have had longer journeys but offer so many lovely words of support. I found through temping that I ovulated day 15/16. I also took baby aspirin on the months I conceived xx

We’re you tracking your cycles etc? Did you use ovulation sticks as well?
This is my next worry, that I’m not ovulating, but I would rather think the worst, and then, hopefully be pleasantly surprised x

 

[DeeDeeAbi]

Yeah I did after a couple of months. Used the clearblue Digi ov test and temping. I actually found it really interesting!

 

[MoominGirl]

Welcome to the crazy world of TTC!! I'm also ashamed to admit that I was clueless when we started out. We were in the game far longer than we would have liked so hopefully I can pass on a few things that worked for me and almost kept me sane.

If you are having lots of regular sex throughout the month then it might be a good idea in the early stages to stick with this approach. I mean this in the nicest possible way but no one thinks they are going to have difficulty conceiving. It always feels like something that happens to other people. We certainly didn't think it would happen to us and we had several problems to deal with in the end. I really hope you're one of the lucky ones but if you find that things don't happen so quickly, the whole thing becomes so much more stressful once panic sets in. Once you start tracking cycles so carefully, everything ends up becoming a bit of a military operation no matter how much you try and avoid it.

As we did struggle, we did panic so I did track cycles and everything did become a military operation. For me, I found that my cycles were usually 25-27 days and in the early stages, I used the cheap OPKs and after a few months I found that I was ovulating CD11-13 with af arriving 14 days after a positive. That was always useful for me as there was never any question over whether I was late and it avoided false hope for me. The first few cycles I used the OPKs from CD7 but once I saw the pattern I used to just start CD10 and then just stopped once I had a positive. Lots of people swear by Clear Blue but for me it really wouldn't have been worth the extra expense.

As far as frequency, we tried all sorts of combinations - everyday, every other day, starting earlier, starting later. The month we actually caught we only had sex twice - day of positive OPK and 2 days later. Judging by my dates now I'm almost certain we caught on the day of the positive. That was the least amount of sex we had compared to all the failed cycles we'd had before it.

Good luck with everything and I hope that's helpful.

 

[DeeDeeAbi]

So pleased for you moomin!!!
You know it's funny you say that, a few of my friends said they all conceived the month they had sex a day or so after ov too. Both times for me I've also done it after too, just to make sure!
Xx

 

[eager_reader]

Hi all,

Just sharing my experiences in case it's helpful or interesting! I decided to track my cycle but not tell my partner when I was fertile/ovulating, i.e. just keeping sex regular-ish and instigating when I knew it was a good time.

GL with the process, sending best wishes your way!

 

[IVW]

Welcome to the crazy world of TTC!! I'm also ashamed to admit that I was clueless when we started out. We were in the game far longer than we would have liked so hopefully I can pass on a few things that worked for me and almost kept me sane.

If you are having lots of regular sex throughout the month then it might be a good idea in the early stages to stick with this approach. I mean this in the nicest possible way but no one thinks they are going to have difficulty conceiving. It always feels like something that happens to other people. We certainly didn't think it would happen to us and we had several problems to deal with in the end. I really hope you're one of the lucky ones but if you find that things don't happen so quickly, the whole thing becomes so much more stressful once panic sets in. Once you start tracking cycles so carefully, everything ends up becoming a bit of a military operation no matter how much you try and avoid it.

As we did struggle, we did panic so I did track cycles and everything did become a military operation. For me, I found that my cycles were usually 25-27 days and in the early stages, I used the cheap OPKs and after a few months I found that I was ovulating CD11-13 with af arriving 14 days after a positive. That was always useful for me as there was never any question over whether I was late and it avoided false hope for me. The first few cycles I used the OPKs from CD7 but once I saw the pattern I used to just start CD10 and then just stopped once I had a positive. Lots of people swear by Clear Blue but for me it really wouldn't have been worth the extra expense.

As far as frequency, we tried all sorts of combinations - everyday, every other day, starting earlier, starting later. The month we actually caught we only had sex twice - day of positive OPK and 2 days later. Judging by my dates now I'm almost certain we caught on the day of the positive. That was the least amount of sex we had compared to all the failed cycles we'd had before it.

Good luck with everything and I hope that's helpful.

Thanks Moomin, its always good to hear how everyone has got on and what worked for them etc

I read your story on another thread, so its even more amazing that it has worked for you and you have conceived and it just goes to prove, you could have sex a million times in one month, but it could be that month you only do it once that you fall pregnant, but I think in our cases, we would rather be sure that its kinda on the better day to be doing it and thats where I am with it all, esp as my partner works shifts, so isn't always here.

So I will start the ovulation strips in under two weeks and see what happens...I just hope I am ovulating ok, thats a test in itself

 

[IVW]

Hi all,

Just sharing my experiences in case it's helpful or interesting! I decided to track my cycle but not tell my partner when I was fertile/ovulating, i.e. just keeping sex regular-ish and instigating when I knew it was a good time.

GL with the process, sending best wishes your way!

My partner would know what I was up to if I started taking him to bed but for other couples, I think its a great idea, as it doesn't put the guy under so my pressure.

Hopefully I won't be so blatant with it and we just go with the flow, but only time will tell.

After educating myself on the whole cycle thing, I educated him as well, just so he is aware that its maybe not as easy to fall pregnant, as he first thought, so maybe 'appreciates' me tracking and knowing when is best....or not

 

[MoominGirl]

Welcome to the crazy world of TTC!! I'm also ashamed to admit that I was clueless when we started out. We were in the game far longer than we would have liked so hopefully I can pass on a few things that worked for me and almost kept me sane.

If you are having lots of regular sex throughout the month then it might be a good idea in the early stages to stick with this approach. I mean this in the nicest possible way but no one thinks they are going to have difficulty conceiving. It always feels like something that happens to other people. We certainly didn't think it would happen to us and we had several problems to deal with in the end. I really hope you're one of the lucky ones but if you find that things don't happen so quickly, the whole thing becomes so much more stressful once panic sets in. Once you start tracking cycles so carefully, everything ends up becoming a bit of a military operation no matter how much you try and avoid it.

As we did struggle, we did panic so I did track cycles and everything did become a military operation. For me, I found that my cycles were usually 25-27 days and in the early stages, I used the cheap OPKs and after a few months I found that I was ovulating CD11-13 with af arriving 14 days after a positive. That was always useful for me as there was never any question over whether I was late and it avoided false hope for me. The first few cycles I used the OPKs from CD7 but once I saw the pattern I used to just start CD10 and then just stopped once I had a positive. Lots of people swear by Clear Blue but for me it really wouldn't have been worth the extra expense.

As far as frequency, we tried all sorts of combinations - everyday, every other day, starting earlier, starting later. The month we actually caught we only had sex twice - day of positive OPK and 2 days later. Judging by my dates now I'm almost certain we caught on the day of the positive. That was the least amount of sex we had compared to all the failed cycles we'd had before it.

Good luck with everything and I hope that's helpful.

Thanks Moomin, its always good to hear how everyone has got on and what worked for them etc

I read your story on another thread, so its even more amazing that it has worked for you and you have conceived and it just goes to prove, you could have sex a million times in one month, but it could be that month you only do it once that you fall pregnant, but I think in our cases, we would rather be sure that its kinda on the better day to be doing it and thats where I am with it all, esp as my partner works shifts, so isn't always here.

So I will start the ovulation strips in under two weeks and see what happens...I just hope I am ovulating ok, thats a test in itself

OPKs worked well for me but lots of ladies prefer temping or both. I didn't get on with temping personally. It sounds like your partner is being supportive and open to working with you on this. My OH was brilliant and we definitely were a team. It's so important but I know a lot of ladies find that men don't take it as seriously and it often causes rows. I totally get that you want to arm yourself with the right information especially if he's a shift worker and you're not. I'm definitely someone who likes to know the facts so that any issues are dealt with early but it's so easy to get swept into a spiral with TTC. I was obsessing before I realised even after I promised myself I wouldn't!!