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- Thread starter BS467
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Jamie.d
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it's sad that it's worked out that way for you, but do you really want to put this poor woman through such an ordeal because YOU want a baby? she has every right to change her mind as ultimately it's down to her to go through the changes in her body, changes in hormones and let us not forget BIRTH!
having a child is SO not easy.. what about the aftermath? What about if she doesn't bond with the baby because she resents YOU for pressuring her? I think if you really love this lady (I'd hope you wouldn't pressure somebody you love in such a heart wrenching situation!) tell her it's HER body and HER choice! and you love her no matter what.
having a child is SO not easy.. what about the aftermath? What about if she doesn't bond with the baby because she resents YOU for pressuring her? I think if you really love this lady (I'd hope you wouldn't pressure somebody you love in such a heart wrenching situation!) tell her it's HER body and HER choice! and you love her no matter what.
Jamie.d
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No..
If you're sincerely invested in this woman and you love her then it IS time to stick with her.. If you can't see yourself staying because of her choice then please do her a favor and let her go.
I can sympathise with you, I had the opposite scenario a few years back where I was pretty much coerced (even blackmailed a little) into a termination BUT ultimately it was my choice, this affected my mental well being but a baby is a two person decision, if she doesn't want the baby PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE let her decide what she needs to!
Yes it will make you sad and yes it will send you into a period of grieving but this woman now has to live with whatever choice she makes for the rest of her life and sorry to be blunt but it really isn't your decision to make..
We don't discuss termination on here because lots of us have experienced loss of a child/children or struggle with infertility but I think I can safely say nobody would want this woman forced into such a horrendous situation. think of the pain she would have to endure either way! both choices are going to be grueling for her by the sounds of it
If you're sincerely invested in this woman and you love her then it IS time to stick with her.. If you can't see yourself staying because of her choice then please do her a favor and let her go.
I can sympathise with you, I had the opposite scenario a few years back where I was pretty much coerced (even blackmailed a little) into a termination BUT ultimately it was my choice, this affected my mental well being but a baby is a two person decision, if she doesn't want the baby PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE let her decide what she needs to!
Yes it will make you sad and yes it will send you into a period of grieving but this woman now has to live with whatever choice she makes for the rest of her life and sorry to be blunt but it really isn't your decision to make..
We don't discuss termination on here because lots of us have experienced loss of a child/children or struggle with infertility but I think I can safely say nobody would want this woman forced into such a horrendous situation. think of the pain she would have to endure either way! both choices are going to be grueling for her by the sounds of it
Jamie.d
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I don't think I'm missing the point at all... you do not sound very in tune with her needs and emotions, perhaps spend the next few days entirely focusing on her thoughts and help her work through them without any suggestive input of your own, that's the only way you'll really know what she wants.
it's completely normal to second guess whether you want the baby
not many will admit but even mums who try for a long time can feel suddenly overwhelmed. I've experienced it too but remembering how much I wanted the baby and they're temporary thoughts for me, I adore my children and any doubts disappear as soon as I hold them (I couldn't possibly speak for your other half)
it's completely normal to second guess whether you want the baby
not many will admit but even mums who try for a long time can feel suddenly overwhelmed. I've experienced it too but remembering how much I wanted the baby and they're temporary thoughts for me, I adore my children and any doubts disappear as soon as I hold them (I couldn't possibly speak for your other half)
Diamond18
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It's quite clear you want a child and it doesn't really matter who with.
Adoption is clearly off the table for you as you want a "biological" child. So how about surrogacy?
I'm absolutely astounded by your total lack of understanding of how the whole pregnancy and birth and child rearing works - you are pressuring women in to having your child because YOU want them, and set out that it's (kind of) a deal breaker if they won't yield.
In regards to your new women, I'd suggest just being supportive and letting her decide in her own time - your relationship doesn't sound great and you really should be helping her through this stage, everyone I've ever known has has second thoughts, including myself. Voicing your deepest darkest fears to someone is a big deal, I'd be devastated to find out it'd been posted to randoms online.
P.s People are ALWAYS allowed to change their mind. Always.
Adoption is clearly off the table for you as you want a "biological" child. So how about surrogacy?
I'm absolutely astounded by your total lack of understanding of how the whole pregnancy and birth and child rearing works - you are pressuring women in to having your child because YOU want them, and set out that it's (kind of) a deal breaker if they won't yield.
In regards to your new women, I'd suggest just being supportive and letting her decide in her own time - your relationship doesn't sound great and you really should be helping her through this stage, everyone I've ever known has has second thoughts, including myself. Voicing your deepest darkest fears to someone is a big deal, I'd be devastated to find out it'd been posted to randoms online.
P.s People are ALWAYS allowed to change their mind. Always.
