4 separate people have asked me today...

[ams25]

'So, are you thinking of starting a family soon then?'.... And even off one cheeky sod 'are you two trying for a baby yet?!'

Omg what a hard time I have had keeping a straight face and not just coming straight out with it! I've just had to say vaguely 'oh yes hopefully soon, just busy with work etc at the moment' lol. I can't wait until we have our scan and can tell people, its getting hard to keep it a secret now especially since I think I am looking a bit chubby round the bump area and having to wear loose tops!

But on a serious note, how rude and intrusive is it to even ask someone that? Its probably to be expected as we have been married just over a year and a half, but still. If god forbid we had suffered a loss or were TTC without success then that question would be totally devastating and I just think what a cheek for someone to ask that. I would never ask someone about their baby plans!

 

[Titch85]

I get it from my OH's family ALL the time! They don't know we're trying and I think it's a bit rude of them to ask really!

 

[PeaPod]

'

But on a serious note, how rude and intrusive is it to even ask someone that? Its probably to be expected as we have been married just over a year and a half, but still. If god forbid we had suffered a loss or were TTC without success then that question would be totally devastating and I just think what a cheek for someone to ask that. I would never ask someone about their baby plans!

Its blooming rude but everyone thinks it is their business. I've had a lot of dealing through work with ladies going through IVF and sometimes they talked about how crap it was being asked about how TTC was going! I think its slightly different if you are genuinely interested but in most cases people are just asking as they think that's what you should be doing next and that's what bugs me the most.

 

[mrz85]

i used 2 hate that question or when i just got married ppl asking r we going have kids soon grrrrrrrrrr

 

[PeaPod]

Also, what people are basically asking you is 'are you shagging lots?' and find that a bit disturbing that people would want to think about me and hubby at it. One of my work colleagues told us to get home and start making babies when we bumped into her shopping just after our wedding - ermmm, we didn't need encouragement or permission!

 

[hellywelly]

Consider yourself lucky. My dad asked every time he saw me for 6 months before I actually got pregnant. Kept moaning all his friends were grandads and he wasn't!!! You could sort of understand mums doing this but dads!!????

 

[tweetyfoo]

I had this quite a bit from OH's family as well, I told them we were waiting to buy a house first, which put them off!

Thankfully I caught just in time, cause we move into our first house next month!

But I agree its very rude, but I think some people are just naive to the fact that sex does not equal instant baby!

 

[CARNAT22]

Mine and OH's imediate family only know about our first miscarriage in May 2011 but none of them have been insensitive enough to ask me outright if we're trying (and we both have big immediate families)

Although today my stupid Aunt asked if I wasn't drinking because I was pregnant??

Also my brother asked me if there was something I wasn't telling him on Friday (it was his Birthday so I popped into the pub to see him) and that pi55ed me off too!

I don't want to be cornered into telling people.

I guess this is the downside of being close to my family, they all immediately notice any little difference in my behaviour (and believe me, me turning down a glass of wine is unusual )

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[ams25]

Glad its not just me! Honestly, some people just have no mannerds do they? My OH's family used to ask a lot too, on the stroke of midnight at new year's eve the first thing my mother-in-law said was 'am I going to get grandchildren in 2012?' Grrr! Lol x

Also, what people are basically asking you is 'are you shagging lots?' and find that a bit disturbing that people would want to think about me and hubby at it. One of my work colleagues told us to get home and start making babies when we bumped into her shopping just after our wedding - ermmm, we didn't need encouragement or permission!

Haha this made me laugh! The person who asked 'are you trying for a baby yet' was one of OH's mates and I think this is basically what he was implying the dirty perv! None of his business!

 

[tinselcat]

I've fortunately only had one friend ask (a relatively close friend at that) and managed to embarrass him by retorting that I didn't want to discuss my sex life.

I do think it's out of order for people to ask though.

At least ams you're not far off from being able to share your good news with whom you choose

 

[kedi376]

I've had the same question too. I was telling the cleaning lady that I'd just bought a house and she was like 'new house, new baby!' this was 6 weeks after my mmc.

Then just before I got my bfp i took two days off sick, I think I'd got a stomach bug because OH was the same two days later. 2 people at work asked if it was morning sickness! Neither of them knew I'd miscarried twice.

Luckily I got my bfp two days later but it didn't help at the time. People just don't think.

 

[nikkid]

I got these stupid comments even after i had my little boy. My uncle was like oh I know what youve been up to. Well obviously i felt like saying to him thats how babies are made!!!!!! IDIOT Rant over xxxx

 

[tinselcat]

Carnat, have you considered the excuse that you gave up alcohol for Lent?

 

[EssJayPea]

Ugh, people are just thoughtless, sometimes!

We get it quite often, too, especially as we've become an auntie and uncle twice in the last year!

xxx

 

[Katkin72]

I had one person I work with (a service user, not a colleague), ask me if I was 'up the duff' yet as he knew I got married in June 2011!! My response was 'wow, that was subtle.......' and left it at that lol.