3rd miscarriage this year at 14 weeks.. a few questions

[dmk30]

Unfortunately I am going to be suffering my third miscarriage this year.

My first was in March at 7+2, third was June at 4+2 and yesterday we went for a scan at 14 weeks with this baby and no heartbeat, blood flow or movement was found.

I've already had my tablet as the first part of 'evacuating a missed miscarriage' and I go to hospital tomorrow for the pessaries and to deliver it.

To be honest I think we're still numb and can't quite believe it all, yesterday sees so surreal and today has just been moping around the house.

To make matters 'worse', my best friend is in labour with her twins and so I haven't felt I can tell her. She knows about my previous ones and I know she will be upset obviously.

I'm struggling with when to tell her? Is it really insensitive of me to tell her ASAP while she is labour or just had her twins? Should I try and wait a few days or will she feel bad I had kept it from her?

We have already told family and some friends and I am worried she will hear it from someone else so feel I should just tell her but I don't want to come across as if I'm being insensitive?

What would you do?

I'm also wondering if anyone has had a missed miscarriage at 14 weeks as well, when your bump disappeared?
I already have a sizeable bump, you can tell I am pregnant and I am trying to wear baggy clothes so strangers or people i know don't ask me about it or i don't see it in a reflection as it upsets me. With my 7 weeks one it disappeared straight away as soon as the sac came out but i don't know if it will be the same this time, some of it is just weight I've put on from eating rubbish as i had morning sickness.

Thanks X

 

[Melily24]

I'm so sorry about your loss

Your best friend already knew you were pregnant? What are the chances of her being told by someone else in say the next 2 days? I would think it would be very insensitive of someone to tell her what has happened, since she is about to/just given birth and its your sad news to tell, so hopefully that means no one will tell her.

Will you see your best friend between now and the delivery? If not, I would maybe wait until the day after she has given birth. I'm sure she would want to know.

I'm sorry, I don't know when your bump will go. My mmc was at 9 weeks and my first so no bump. My mc in June - I was only 6 weeks.

I'm really sorry this has happened to you and am wishing you lots of strength.

xxx

 

[dmk30]

Thank you.

Yeah unfortunately everyone knew we were pregnant, we had our dating scan on the 1st september and everything looked great so we announced it.

I don't think anyone would tell her but I'm just worried about it. No I won't see her, hopefully they will be born soon she has been in labour since last night and was 3cm when she got to the hospital, haven't spoken to her since 11:30am but she was having lots of contractions.

I will try and wait until the day after they are born
Thank you x

 

[Clementine]

Hi Dmk30, I am so sorry you have lost your baby in such sad circumstances, I have had two MMC's at 10weeks and 11.5weeks both times I had a D&C, with my 2nd MMC we had an early scan at 8 weeks and were told we were expecting twins and they were right size with good heartbeats, we asked could we tell family & friends and the consultant said yes all looked good, when we went back two weeks later the babies had no heartbeats, it was very hard to tell everyone we had lost them however in hindsight the support we got helped us through it. I would delay telling your friend who is in labour as I'm sure she will be upset on your behalf. If possible I would tell her a few days after the birth to let her hormones settle, I would hope that mutual friends don't share your loss as it's your business. Take care of yourself sending you lots of strength and I would ask your consultant that you would like all the recurrent miscarriage tests to rule out any causes. Take care sending you big hugs x

 

[J_Anne]

I don't have any advice I'm afraid but I just wanted to say I'm so deeply sorry for your loss. I hope you are able to find some answers and take care of yourself. My mmc was at 12 weeks but baby was measuring at around 7 weeks so I wasn't showing at all.

I would also wait until your friend has had her babies before you tell her. Thinking of you xx

 

[laurat]

Im really sorry for your loss! Xx

 

[megsmeadow]

I am sorry dmk. I'd be inclined to hold off telling your friend, she might not be in any position to take in the news and I'm sure despite giving birth she'd want to show you some support. As for bump we found out last time at our 20 week scan and once my uterus had gone back down within the week I just felt a bit more like me again. But I've always had a tummy so it felt more like my normal wobbles I was trying to hide.
I hope things go smoothly. Please spend as much time as you need with your angel and you might want to take some pictures too, we've got some precious photos medical photography took for us.
Take care xx

 

[scn]

So sorry for your loss. I lost one of mine at 14 weeks and I needed an ERPC after delivery because the placenta retained. I felt the difference almost immediately afterwards, it just 'felt' different when I bent over to tie my laces when I was getting ready to go home from hospital but definately back to normal after a couple of days xx
Take care xx

 

[millielaura]

So sorry again!
I had a mc at 14 weeks also and had a very noticeable bump and I noticed it only took a few days to go down. Take care, big hugs xxxx