:(

[xkmummyxx]

hi so this is going to be a long post so sorry in advance..

ill tell you a bit of back story....
me and my partner have been together for years and have a beautiful son and are curretnly ttc our 2nd..
we broke up in feb and i went with someone else (oops) but 6 weeks later we were back together things just got a bit too routine ect... we started ttc in may we were so happy.
so fast forward till a few weeks ago were so happy and i notice a text with 3 from a girl from my oh work i went mad i deffently overreacted and that was he end of that he said there really good friends it didnt mean anything she is going away soon anyway... end of?

last night i was tiding up when i found a note it said.... "is it wrong that i want to have sex with you i know i have a family at home but it wont mean anything it will be just meaningless fun between two friends it wont mean anything more as your going away for months!! cuz i think your so sexy and gorgoues and wouldnt mean anything more...

my heart shattered..... i have never felt like that before ever! i cant describe how i am feeling - he WAS the dream boyfriend noone would ever thought he would do this.
anyway... he rang from work as he does everyday and i went mental calling him all names under the sun he said sorry i dont know what to say blah blah blah...
he came home and we talked... he said back in feb he was gunna ask her out on a date to try and get over me but he never did so before she is going away he wanted to ask her if he did ask her what would she of said?? makes no sense this note says nothing about a date it clearly says SEX and i have a family back at home... he says he rite it 2 weeks ago but i still dont get it... he asked her to her face if there was a chance in feb she said no she doesnt think about him in that way.. he said he hasnt cheated... hes eiter at work or home but has the odd night out....
hes said sorry over 10000 times but i feel like iv been broken i feel depressed i feel sick to my stomach im crying all the time i couldnt sleep last night im trying to stay strong for my son so all iv been doing tonight is crying.

i dont feel atractive anymore im paranoid im checking hes phone and hes fb all the time! i know this is not the way to go on... i love him with all my heart were childhood sweethearts we have made a home a family and now this.....
i cant even look at him im so mad its crazy im mad upset heartbroken!
hes said he doesnt know why he rite it he doesnt feel anything towards her and i mean the world to him... but i really dont think i can get over this i know it only happend yesterday.. but i couldnt imagine my life without him. my heart is broken x

thanks for reading i needed to tell someone..

 

[Rednursie]

Firstly, massive hugs hunni I'm so sorry your going through this. But let me get this right, he's admitted he wrote this note asking for sex but also says that it didn't mean anything and you mean the world to him? If this the case then it sounds like he's just sorry that he got caught out? I don't mean to sound harsh Hun but what he has done is truly awful and unacceptable xxxx

 

[xkmummyxx]

thank you yeah i even said that your sorry you got caught and he even said you wasnt ment to find that... well obvoiusly! i just dont know what to do ... just needed to let it out xx

 

[Rednursie]

I'm sorry Hun I don't really know what to say to help. Have you told any of your friends? Xxx

 

[xkmummyxx]

lol its ok its a hard one... iv told my closet friend she was completly gobsmacked she knows my oh well so was so shocked by it she didnt no what to say but iv just told her were okish now..... but in realty im not.... may take time i spose and lots of talking thanks for replying xx

 

[tabbi]

Oh hunni, its only normal to feel that way, my partner cheated on me last year after 3 months of living with each other and not been together we got back together for our daughters sake (he's her step dad). It took me 14 months and a baby a huge relocation to get trust back into our relationship. I still at times do doubt things but once i work out possiblities its gone, i know that when he is having contact start with his 'son' from his ex that i will prob be quite un-easy as it was her he slept with after they split up and she was pregnant we got together and when we were together she was a cruel bitch to him and he felt like he needed to be there for the baby no matter the means....but even that excuse wasn't enough hense how long it took to trust him again plus i found out from an email 6 months later.

you do whats best for you and yes you wont be able to stand him or look at him but it will work and you will be able to trust him down the line. Its up to you where you want to go...i'd say have some space you need time away from each other then both assess what you want and if its the same work it out but its will take a while x x x

 

[xkmummyxx]

Thanks so much Hun x

 

[newbie1984]

I know how your feeling. My OH left me 7 months pregnant. I didn't see it coming as I thought things were fine and just a bit rocky as I was pregnant and that can be difficult for some people to cope with. Anyway long story short was that he said he just couldn't do it and didn't love me like he should and he left. There wasn't anybody else I'm sure of that. It felt like hours passed when he left but about 10 mins later he knocked on the door and said how sorry he was and he couldn't leave me and his baby. We talked about things a lot and it came to light that he just didn't know how to cope with all the change going on so he had convinced himself me and him would go wrong when in reality he just hadn't experienced a relationship where actually things were good. The next day I asked to see him as I was so confused as to what went on, he said no because he was so embarrassed as to what had happened. He came over the next morning and we spoke some more and I decided I wanted to give him a chance. He moved in permanently a couple of weeks ago and things have been good. I've stopped asking him if he is ok all the time as I have to trust he will talk to me if something isn't right. Yes there are times when I think why did he say what he did but every day does get a little easier to the point where one day I won't actually think about what happened. But that takes time.

Anyway, I know it's very different to what's happening to you but I guess I'm trying to say only you can decide if you want to give him a chance. Could it be the pressure of WTT is making him do this? Is there something else going on that he hasn't spoken about that's bothering him? I think you and him need to have some time to yourself. Is there someone who can watch your LO and you both go out for dinner and talk and spend time together and figure if its worth fighting for?

Sending you lots of hugs. Good luck with whatever you decide. We will all be here for you regardless.

 

[newbie1984]

I know how your feeling. My OH left me 7 months pregnant. I didn't see it coming as I thought things were fine and just a bit rocky as I was pregnant and that's difficult. Anyway long story short was that he said he just couldn't do it and didn't love me like he should and he left. There wasn't anybody else I'm sure of that. It felt like hours passed when he left but about 10 mins later he knocked on the door and said how sorry he was and he couldn't leave me and his baby. We talked about things a lot and it came to light that he just didn't know how to cope with all the change going on so he had convinced himself me and him would go wrong when in reality he just hadn't experienced a relationship where actually things were good. The next day I asked to see him as I was so confused as to what went on, he said no because he was so embarrassed as to what had happened. He came over the next morning and we spoke some more and I decided I wanted to give him a chance. He moved in permanently a couple of weeks ago and things have been good. I've stopped asking him if he is ok all the time as I have to trust he will talk to me if something isn't right. Yes there are times when I think why did he say what he did but every day does get a little easier to the point where one day I don't actually think about what happened.

Anyway, I know it's very different to what's happening to you but I guess I'm trying to say only you can decide if you want to give him a chance. Could it be the pressure of WTT is making him do this? Is there something else going on that he hasn't spoken about that's bothering him? I think you and him need to have some time to yourself. Is there someone who can watch your LO and you both go out for dinner and talk and spend time together and figure if its worth fighting for?

Sending you lots of hugs. Good luck with whatever you decide. We will all be here for you regardless.

 

[xkmummyxx]

Thanks so much Hun x yeah was thinking about doing a meal or something like that just scared of losing him we have been together since we were 15 so I know nothing else. Times a healer I spose xx

 

[tabbi]

Thanks so much Hun x yeah was thinking about doing a meal or something like that just scared of losing him we have been together since we were 15 so I know nothing else. Times a healer I spose xx

It is, If you have been together since 15 make it work hunni, your meant to be, but let him know by talking how it made you feel and how it made you feel about yourself. Hopefullly when he realises what he has done he will make up for it none stop to you. But until you two are sorted leave ttc 2 until you are back where you should be and i really hope it works out for you hunni x x x

 

[pip_]

Not sure what to say, except do what is right for you and your LO chick. And BIG hugs

 

[xkmummyxx]

Thank you yes well I'm currently in 2ww?! So I I don't conceive this month I'm goin to leave it for a few months as my first was a surprise I wanted this one to be a lovely thing so finding now I'm not sure how it would be?! Great obviously but not how I imagined it?! We're slightly better today I can look at him slightly.... But also found on computer history 'engagement rings'!!!!
I hope I hope I hope he doesn't do it too soon? And waits a few month if he has brought one? But I know he loves me he just wants to show me ? Xxxx

 

[tabbi]

You never know you might get one on christmas day by the sounds of things. And it sounds like you have made up your mind which is brilliant hunni. Just focus on your little boy and why didnt he get on one knee sooner? lol x x x

 

[xkmummyxx]

Well today is much better he has deleted her number and Facebook just for my sanity as I know it would drive me mad otherwise. He's putting loads of effort in to our relasionship I'm happier but it will take a few more weeks I think for me to be completely happy yes mayb a Xmas engagement I no the bugger iv waiting long enough lol! Thanks for all the support ladies xxx