Do I Just Give Up?

[Amanda W]

Hey everyone yeah its me again you know i didnt wanna post in here again but things havent really changed in fact in my eyes they are worse.Okay so there is a big age gap between me and my fella hes older than me and in the past hes been cheated on and hes got it drilled into his head im gonna do the same when i have had it done on me and no its not nice and i would never do it to him i just wish he would understand now here is the newest one and i find it rather sad.

Me and my two female friends are going on saturday for a Girls night out because one of my friends has recently just turned 30 and cmon no woman wants to ammit that so because she has just only got a baby sitter for her kids hense why we are going out now we told him that i was invited and he invited himself which seemed odd because its a girls night out anyway as usual we was arugueing yesterday and he said to me ( If you go out on saturday our relationship is over ) <--Now how would you lot answer that if your fellas said that

I have been speaking to a very close friend and my parents and they have told me not to give in to him which im not.

I never go out drinking ive never been a fan for doing it but i have already said and asked my parents if they want to baby sit and they have already agreed now we gave him a second idea for him to go out with his male friends and we all meet up in the pub after and do you know what he said ( why )

Im at my whits ends everyone im just giving up slowly he said he has no trust me in and never has so whats a relationship made of then?

He said to me ages ago its not always about me so i got to his friend before he did because he tells her everything and i mean everything she is more shocked than iam i told her what he had said and now hes twisted the tables telling her hes told me to decide do i want to be with him or not

Its breaking my heart,feels like hes tugging all my heart strings im sick of being the bad person so now i give him a choice if he is gonna countiune all this crap and carrying on being like how he is then its over i havent splept tonight well got two hours but because i was stressed the baby has picked up on it so she was being a pain so that made me feel worse and yes i broke down two times yesterday in tears and once today its just not fair :'(

 

[Butterflykisses]

Every relationship needs trust!! I agree with your friends and your parents that you shouldn't give in and let your OH join you on your "girls night out". It is important to have girls only time when you can catch up on what all of you are doing. Why would your OH want to be involved in "girls talk"?? I know anytime any of my friends even calls for a coffee my DH leaves us alone even though I've told him countless times he doesn't have to.

You need to stand your ground on this one. The second option you gave where he goes out with his friends, you go out with yours and meet up is an excellent one. Gives you both a chance to go out with friends and to end the night with each other.

Hope you come to an agreeable solution. Enjoy your night out. xxxx

 

[tinselcat]

Just because he's been hurt in the past, doesn't give him the right to play mind games and control your life beyond excess.

If you've got a new baby I'm sure you deserve a nice night out with your girly friends and you've been responsible and arranged a babysitter.

It doesn't sound like he's much open to discussion at the moment but if you can, see if you can ask him why he's saying it's over if you go out... it's not a logical thing to do (and aren't guys supposed to be logical?!) And what's wrong with your alternative? What is it he actually _wants_?

As Dawn says I really hope you find an amicable solution, and that you end up going out and having fun.

xx

 

[Amanda W]

Thanks you two helped alot okay so we spent a full day talking and he said he said sorry to me and i said last chance now because i cant take it again.So yes iam going out on sat and so is he and then we will meet up later on so will see how things go and oh oh on sat about 5ish iam going looking at a puppy )))))))))

 

[Butterflykisses]

happy days. What breed? Mine is currently curled up in ball beside me - nearly pushing me off the seat lol

 

[tinselcat]

So glad to hear that Amanda - and well done in approaching the situation assertively, it's often hard to do that Enjoy your night out!!!!

 

[purplehippy]

Reminds me of something my OH kept trying to pull on me re my going to visit friends, most are male but there are female friends too. But knowing he cheated on his last two (no actual sex though), surely it should be me who is worried.

I found that being the ultimatum-maker put him in his place, this year. I was packed to go!

Well done, you. And.............. I just lost the rest of my post goddammit!