11 month old not sleeping

[night owl]

This all sounds completely normal from talking to other mums I know in my baby groups and chat rooms/apps I use, it will pass, most people go through this with their babies, it’s a normal developmental phase, they are still consolidating their circadian rhythms and their sleep cycles are changing regularly up until they are out of their babyhood, also babies are highly programmed to need to be close to their caregivers, especially at night, our early ancestors kept their babies right next to them at all times otherwise they were at risk of being eaten by predators, thus babies brains are strongly programmed to need close contact especially of a night when they are more vulnerable, and it is the only reason why the human race is even here today, co-sleeping is the biological norm, there are cultures in other parts of the world where they find it extremely odd to see young babies being expected to sleep alone of a night, it’s our western culture which seems to have developed really unnatural expectations of babies sleep, like expecting them to sleep through the night and expecting to be able to put them in a room on their own all night and for them to be happy with that - it ain’t gonna happen!
My 8 month old will not even entertain the idea of sleeping in a cot on her own, and she’s up at all hours wanting to play,sometimes doesn’t go back to sleep for hours, yes it is exhausting and I get no time with my partner but I just have to get up with her and tire her out with her toys, otherwise she will just start crying, I can’t force her to go to sleep and I can’t explain to her that I’m tired so I just have to get on with it, then I have to go to work aswell lol, I have no useful advice because the fact is there is no useful advice - their are no magic tricks or secrets otherwise every mum would be getting their 8 hours a night, I’ve come to the conclusion now after having various battles with no good outcome that you just do what seems to work best for the baby as they will show you what they need, if they settle better when co-sleeping then so be it, if they still want milk in the night then fine etc etc x

 

[Aisha83]

Yeah it's nice knowing I'm not alone too. I'm going to a baby group today so she will nap on the way there and back.
I'm planning on getting her to play in her cot for a bit this afternoon too so she sees it's not a bad place.
Then back to attempting some kind of routine with her this evening.
I thought we were starting to get somewhere Saturday evening but last night was horrendous.

We had decided to try getting back into a routine as well but then he got this blasted cold, so I have to wait. Last night was terrible for us as well. He woke up at least 8x. The most in a long time. And this morning he woke at 5am only to nap for half hour at around 7am. I'm dreading the day because I know he will be so tired he will be grumpy. Goodluck at your baby group

 

[Aisha83]

This all sounds completely normal from talking to other mums I know in my baby groups and chat rooms/apps I use, it will pass, most people go through this with their babies, it’s a normal developmental phase, they are still consolidating their circadian rhythms and their sleep cycles are changing regularly up until they are out of their babyhood, also babies are highly programmed to need to be close to their caregivers, especially at night, our early ancestors kept their babies right next to them at all times otherwise they were at risk of being eaten by predators, thus babies brains are strongly programmed to need close contact especially of a night when they are more vulnerable, and it is the only reason why the human race is even here today, co-sleeping is the biological norm, there are cultures in other parts of the world where they find it extremely odd to see young babies being expected to sleep alone of a night, it’s our western culture which seems to have developed really unnatural expectations of babies sleep, like expecting them to sleep through the night and expecting to be able to put them in a room on their own all night and for them to be happy with that - it ain’t gonna happen!
My 8 month old will not even entertain the idea of sleeping in a cot on her own, and she’s up at all hours wanting to play,sometimes doesn’t go back to sleep for hours, yes it is exhausting and I get no time with my partner but I just have to get up with her and tire her out with her toys, otherwise she will just start crying, I can’t force her to go to sleep and I can’t explain to her that I’m tired so I just have to get on with it, then I have to go to work aswell lol, I have no useful advice because the fact is there is no useful advice - their are no magic tricks or secrets otherwise every mum would be getting their 8 hours a night, I’ve come to the conclusion now after having various battles with no good outcome that you just do what seems to work best for the baby as they will show you what they need, if they settle better when co-sleeping then so be it, if they still want milk in the night then fine etc etc x

My son doesn't sleep in his own room (only have a 1 bed property) so he does sleep in his cot next to me. I don't mind not getting 8hrs sleep either because I never slept that long before he was born, I also don't mind him waking 1 or 2 times, I can deal with that, it's the fact that its almost every hour. Last night 8x. It's not fun for me but most importantly for him because he is so exhausted through out the day that, my once happy smily baby has turned grumpy and constantly crying from being so tired.

 

[night owl]

My son doesn't sleep in his own room (only have a 1 bed property) so he does sleep in his cot next to me. I don't mind not getting 8hrs sleep either because I never slept that long before he was born, I also don't mind him waking 1 or 2 times, I can deal with that, it's the fact that its almost every hour. Last night 8x. It's not fun for me but most importantly for him because he is so exhausted through out the day that, my once happy smily baby has turned grumpy and constantly crying from being so tired.

If it’s not been this bad all along could be a late 8 month sleep regression, if its not something obvious like pain or discomfort waking him up it sounds like he could be transitioning sleep cycles like how they do when they go through sleep regressions or developmental leaps, does he settle better if you take him out of the cot and put him in bed with you? My daughter won’t even sleep in the cot right next to my bed, has to be in bed with me otherwise she just screams.

 

[Aisha83]

If it’s not been this bad all along could be a late 8 month sleep regression, if its not something obvious like pain or discomfort waking him up it sounds like he could be transitioning sleep cycles like how they do when they go through sleep regressions or developmental leaps, does he settle better if you take him out of the cot and put him in bed with you? My daughter won’t even sleep in the cot right next to my bed, has to be in bed with me otherwise she just screams.

Normally yes he will sleep much better in bed with us, although very crowded, he snuggles into me and sleeps soundly few a few hours. Which again I don't mind him being in bed with us (not so much the kicks to the stomach or punches to the eyes ), there was a time where when I started sleep training him he slept right through the night in his cot. Now I got no chance. He wakes half hour after originally going to sleep, then around 11pm when I go to bed. If I'm lucky he will go back to sleep for maybe half hour/hour then he wakes screaming and I have to bring him into bed. Then it's hit or miss. Sometimes he will sleep for a few hrs before waking other times it's just constant waking until around 5am where I get to the point where I think stuff it let me get him cuz he decides its time to play

 

[Aisha83]

Normally yes he will sleep much better in bed with us, although very crowded, he snuggles into me and sleeps soundly few a few hours. Which again I don't mind him being in bed with us (not so much the kicks to the stomach or punches to the eyes ), there was a time where when I started sleep training him he slept right through the night in his cot. Now I got no chance. He wakes half hour after originally going to sleep, then around 11pm when I go to bed. If I'm lucky he will go back to sleep for maybe half hour/hour then he wakes screaming and I have to bring him into bed. Then it's hit or miss. Sometimes he will sleep for a few hrs before waking other times it's just constant waking until around 5am where I get to the point where I think stuff it let me get him cuz he decides its time to play

That should have said let me get him up cuz he decides its time to play

 

[WinterWolf]

If he's teething and has a cold, that's your answer. He doesn't feel well and his teeth hurt so he is looking for comfort. If you leave him there crying you're only going to make him anxious on top of feeling bad Neurofen doesn't work for my bub with teething pain at all, she needs paracetamol. So maybe try that? It also only lasts 4-6hrs so he may need another dose. I also dip her dummy in ice water, seems to calm her down if the problem is teeth pain.

At 11mo he's probably getting ready to learn to walk so you'll have some brain development keeping him awake too. Jusr keep cuddling him, nap when he naps, and tell yourself it will pass. Because it will.

 

[MoominGirl]

As the others have said, I think this age is a very challenging time for lots of reasons. I know our main issue is teething but we also have illness etc from starting nursery and are heading towards separation anxiety too. The problem with sleep training and crying it out etc is that it simply won't work if there's something else going on.

Our current strategy is one of us sleeping on a floor mattress in LO's room to hopefully allow the other to sleep and doing what we can to get LO to sleep as much as possible which usually means comfort and cuddles. We stopped night feeds when it wasn't offering anything extra. If we'd felt he was genuinely hungry, we would have continued. Of course my husband and I are sacrificing a lot of time together but the idea is if someone has had some resemblance of sleep then they can cook etc. I know that's not helpful when baby won't have dad but would it help if dad took the pressure off by doing other things around the house or slept on the sofa if you're all in one room?

 

[WinterWolf]

Agree with moomin there. My husband sleeps in the spare room when my baby (11.5mo) is going through a rough patch of sleep. She also still can't go without milk at night so also make sure his problem isn't hunger.

 

[liz85]

My 14 month old is waking during the night now . He was sick at Xmas time and slept poorly but it has continued on even tho he is better. I’m considering this sleep training. I was bringing him in to me to settle and I don’t think Iv done myself any favours