10 months old and tantrums

[kumber]

Hey everyone!

Looking for a bit of advice as I'm not sure how to go forward. LO has definitely come into toddlerhood early as we have multiple daily tantrums and full on meltdowns when he does something he's not allowed to. The difficulty is, being only 10 months I'm not sure he fully understands what no means - I've told him no and moved him away, he will continually go back and do the thing he shouldn't be doing, for example slapping the tv. We have baby proofed as far as we can but it's getting to the point where we need to help him understand what 'no' or 'stop' mean, preferably without the throwing himself on the floor, screaming and wailing.

Have you got any tips we can try? I'm under no illusions, there are things he just won't be able to understand until he's bigger but little things like not hitting the tv or even letting me eat my breakfast after he's had his without attempting to climb all over me would be a great start!

Thanks ladies

 

[DaniOwl]

First of all, I wouldn't call it 'todlerhood' early as thwhat babies at 10/11 months of age do as there mind and body aren't singing off the same hymn sheet yet. No baby at 10 months is any more 'advanced' or 'early' they all do different things - so babies might not be doing what yours is - your baby may not be doing what others are. '

Quite simple really, keep moving and find something to distract him - toys, snacks or even an empty pizza box.
Not to climb up you when your eating - easily solved, eat when he does. If you have to go hungry for a while longer than so be it. A peaceful meal time is so worth being peckish for.

 

[kumber]

Not sure where I've mentioned he's more advanced? Children do do things differently and some children can display todder behaviours earlier than others, a statement made to me by my hv at his 9 month check. So unless you've become a hv in the last few months and can dispute this with evidence, I will continue following what my hv has said.

I already distract him with toys when he's having what I would term as a meltdown, but unfortunately it doesn't always work so I would like advice on other things I can do to start discouraging the meltdowns and encouraging a calm removal from whatever he is not allowed to do. I feel this will also help when the baby is here - he has to start understanding that mommy cannot always give him what he wants and I think the earlier he gets used to this, the better.

Re eating, it's not always possible to eat when he does - the nights that I work I have to eat before I leave which is usually too early for his dinner. He won't eat earlier and I can't eat later.

I'm not really sure why I'm being made to feel like I have to justify and explain my post, but hopefully the extra info will be insightful to anyone who can offer a helpful and constructive piece of advice.

 

[DaniOwl]

All 10 month old babies have tantrums or even as dramatic as 'meltdowns'. Fact. This is not toddler behaviour it is NORMAL 10 month old babies behaviour. It what they all do. So I would be hesitant to listen to your HV, or is this the same woman you know 'in a out of clinic' setting, by your recent posts on her I would say that your HV talks absolute nonsense.

The reason I mentioned breakfast was because you did, I said eat breakfast at the same time he does, thus would allow you to eat yours in peace. Nowhere in your OP did you mention eating dinner, hence why I didn't mention it.

 

[Baby2sky]

Hun, dont feel like you need to justify your post. I thought the other reply was pretty rude!

My lo went through a similar thing. Definitely frustrating for both you and your lo! Unfortunately there wasn't much we could do, but I think its about consistency with what you do do. Trying distracting techniques, mirroring good behavior, and trying to ignore tantrums as much as possible. Keep using "no" and try as much as possible to just remove your lo whilst ignoring the tantrum.

It is especially hard at this age tho hun but it is just a phase xx

 

[kumber]

All 10 month old babies have tantrums or even as dramatic as 'meltdowns'. Fact. This is not toddler behaviour it is NORMAL 10 month old babies behaviour. It what they all do. So I would be hesitant to listen to your HV, or is this the same woman you know 'in a out of clinic' setting, by your recent posts on her I would say that your HV talks absolute nonsense.

The reason I mentioned breakfast was because you did, I said eat breakfast at the same time he does, thus would allow you to eat yours in peace. Nowhere in your OP did you mention eating dinner, hence why I didn't mention it.

Ok, so they all have it. I'd still like constructive advice on how we can turn this into something more positive and manageable, I wasn't aware that was such a terrible thing to ask.

People have many different opinions on who talks nonsense, I am glad that in this instance we have opposing views. Whichever hv it was is really neither here nor there, they all receive the same hv training.

Breakfast was an example, which perhaps was unclear.

I don't really see what this continuation is achieving other than perhaps to put other people off posting. If you have an issue with anything I've said, might I suggest logging a report with the forum admin? In any case, let's just move on from being pedantic.

 

[kumber]

Hun, dont feel like you need to justify your post. I thought the other reply was pretty rude!

My lo went through a similar thing. Definitely frustrating for both you and your lo! Unfortunately there wasn't much we could do, but I think its about consistency with what you do do. Trying distracting techniques, mirroring good behavior, and trying to ignore tantrums as much as possible. Keep using "no" and try as much as possible to just remove your lo whilst ignoring the tantrum.

It is especially hard at this age tho hun but it is just a phase xx

Thank you, that's all very reassuring! At what age did you find your LO grew out of it?

 

[Baby2sky]

Probably around a year. Then started again even more ferociously at about 22 months lol !!! Xxx

 

[kumber]

Ohhhh yaaaaaay, plenty more fun to come in the future then!

 

[ColourInformal]

Advice was asked for and advice was given, I don't feel the reply was rude. No, you didn't use the word 'advanced' but by saying that you felt your kid had come into toddler hood early gave the impression that you feel he was advanced.

They do have tantrums at this age and apart from telling them no and trying to distract them there isn't much you can do about it.

Eating dinner, maybe offer a light snack in his high chair? Or playing with some toys in a high chair?

 

[DaniOwl]

All 10 month old babies have tantrums or even as dramatic as 'meltdowns'. Fact. This is not toddler behaviour it is NORMAL 10 month old babies behaviour. It what they all do. So I would be hesitant to listen to your HV, or is this the same woman you know 'in a out of clinic' setting, by your recent posts on her I would say that your HV talks absolute nonsense.

The reason I mentioned breakfast was because you did, I said eat breakfast at the same time he does, thus would allow you to eat yours in peace. Nowhere in your OP did you mention eating dinner, hence why I didn't mention it.

Ok, so they all have it. I'd still like constructive advice on how we can turn this into something more positive and manageable, I wasn't aware that was such a terrible thing to ask.

People have many different opinions on who talks nonsense, I am glad that in this instance we have opposing views. Whichever hv it was is really neither here nor there, they all receive the same hv training.

Breakfast was an example, which perhaps was unclear.

I don't really see what this continuation is achieving other than perhaps to put other people off posting. If you have an issue with anything I've said, might I suggest logging a report with the forum admin? In any case, let's just move on from being pedantic.

In an earlier post you mentioned that the HV you know on a personal level has had more training that all the HV you have come across. This somewhat worries me.

I gave given my advice, I wouldn't say I was rude. Likewise if you feel I was rude, report me to site admin - maybe it would teach me a lesson.

Goodnight Leanne

 

[Cherrybelly]

Iris is almost 11 months and gets cross when she wants to do something that we won't let her (grab the cat, climb on the coffee table, smack the TV etc.) I guess it must be very frustrating for them when they're starting to be able to do so much but are stopped. Sometimes I feel like all I say is 'no.' Distraction is key I think - I also find she behaves better when we're out - haha! When I have my dinner I put her in her high chair and give her some whether she's already eaten or not! Or I get her to bed first and have it cold! (Sometimes I work late) I feel your pain, but we'll get there together xxx

 

[kumber]

Grab the cat, ohhh I know this so well! Thanks for the support, we'll get through it somehow!

 

[littlemonkey]

The main thing is to keep it simple and consistent I'd say. At 10 months they are still pretty young to grasp it and it will take time for them to get there. Picking them up and moving them away from a situation with a simple 'no' is probably best. You can also distract them with something else. It's slightly different as they get older, but the less attention tantrums and difficult behaviour is given, the better. As for the eating, I would just plonk LO in his high chair while I eat.

It's difficult with a second baby on the way, it does make you analyse every thing with your eldests behaviour and makes you panic about how they will manage with the baby around. I can't offer much advice just yet as my youngest isn't even 24 hours old yet! But my two year old has been pretty resilient with me being in hospital etc.

 

[Hoping for no2]

My 8 month old has also started getting very cross if he can't do what he wants to do and has a major meltdown when we put him in the pram. It's really normal behaviour at this kind of age as they can't yet communicate their wants but know what they want to do so are easily frustrated. My eldest was the same. I just try to distract him if he kicks off and also say 'no' in a firm voice if he's doing something he shouldn't be. With meal times we try and eat together but if that's not possible I usually sit him in his high chair with some rice cakes or other snack to keep him occupied do I can eat in relative peace. It's a phase which will pass, and then the next one will start!! X

 

[kumber]

It's difficult with a second baby on the way, it does make you analyse every thing with your eldests behaviour and makes you panic about how they will manage with the baby around.

Yes THIS! This is exactly how I feel!


Thanks for your help ladies, it's reassuring to hear all these views. I'm hoping the food situation will resolve itself now, I'm off work for 2 weeks and then only have 2 weeks left so fx that side won't be such a fight any more.

 

[kumber]

Also, congratulations littlemonkey!

 

[Durhamchance]

I had this with my boy at around the same age, it might not be practical, but I borrowed a playpen from a friend and it was a godsend. He didn't spend all his time in it, it was more for when he was playing up or I needed to do something and keep him safe. It was filled with his toys and books and he was quite happy in there (and couldn't grab the cats!)

I'm not sure why you got some rude responses on this thread Kumber, I didn't get the impression that you were trying to make out your child to be 'advanced' in any way x

 

[kumber]

I had this with my boy at around the same age, it might not be practical, but I borrowed a playpen from a friend and it was a godsend. He didn't spend all his time in it, it was more for when he was playing up or I needed to do something and keep him safe. It was filled with his toys and books and he was quite happy in there (and couldn't grab the cats!)

I'm not sure why you got some rude responses on this thread Kumber, I didn't get the impression that you were trying to make out your child to be 'advanced' in any way x

Gosh, I'd be worried about putting him in a playpen, I did this previously when he was smaller and we had no carpets, and got accused of putting him in a dog cage and being more worried about the cats than him! I have thought about reconstructing the playpen but the living room is very small and it's a large Lindam 8-sided one which takes up most of the floor space. I wonder though if there's a smaller one we can get, especially one that's more easily stored? Or perhaps we can set it up in his bedroom once it's been sorted and furnished.

 

[juliekim0908]

My boy is 10 months old.. and I've the exact problem..especially hitting the TV! and the tantrums when he's finished dinner or 'full up' and we're still going.. Well!

I just try to be consistent with saying no and sometimes moving him away. I find he understands the words 'sit down' more from being in the bath. So using that a lot the last couple of days.

Food times, if I need to eat and he doesn't, I tend to eat where he is happy.. usually in the living room and he comes to the sofa then to have a nose at what I'm eating. maybe have a light snack next to me too keep him busy.

Also guessing from other posts and age that it's just a phase. I'm sure they'll get louder and worse once they start understanding haha xx