1 Baby vs 2 and age gaps?

Discussion in 'Ask a Mum!' started by MissKW, Aug 19, 2018.

  1. MissKW

    MissKW Well-Known Member

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    OK so long story short, I have only just had my first baby who is now 5 months old. I only ever planned on having the one as I want to be able to give him my full attention and really enjoy him. My husband however is desperate for 2. I have really enjoyed being a mum so far so I had started to consider giving my son a sibling but not for at least a few years so that I can spend time with him first, let my body fully recover and have time for a new baby once my son starts nursery etc.
    However i have recently found out that due to health concerns, if we were to have another baby we would need to start trying very soon, or we could just accept that we cannot have any more and enjoy our son.
    I am finding it really difficult to decide what to do. I hated pregnancy and don't want to be feeling ill when I could be playing with my son. I will also feel really guilty having to give so much attention to a new baby rather than him etc.
    What are the benefits and disadvantages of having babies so close together? Did you prefer having 1child to having 2? Do you wish you waited longer before having another? Do you still get some 'you' time?
    I really just need all the brutally honest pros and cons to help me decide
     
    #1 MissKW, Aug 19, 2018
    Last edited: Aug 19, 2018
  2. babylove2016

    babylove2016 Well-Known Member

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    Hello lovely,

    I could have written this post. My LG is 11 months and I'm getting the broods again... also feeling anxious about guilt (as if we don't already have enough mum guilt!) but also my parent's reaction (they have helped a lot with Emmie and I'm now self employed working four days a week during which time my mum has her. Ugh it's a hard decision but I want Em to have a sibling that isn't too much younger than her.

    What did you decide in the end?

    xx
     
  3. Donna88

    Donna88 Well-Known Member

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    My son is 10 and I'm having my second now; I've already told my husband I would like a third so that this one doesn't grow up like an only child. Don't get me wrong; I love my son to bits and wouldn't change him for the world but I think he has had some difficulties from growing up without siblings; I didn't go to baby groups either which didn't help. So he didn't really socialise with other children until he was at school nursery. Sometimes I do worry that he is a bit lonely; although obviously it could go the other way and he could have had a sibling who he didn't get on with.

    Whatever you decide I think as long as you do your best for your children; which we all do they will be happy
     
    MissKW and babylove2016 like this.
  4. babylove2016

    babylove2016 Well-Known Member

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    Congratulations on your pregnancy! That’s the thing I was predominantly an only child (I have a half sister so she came on holidays and we as her a lot) but I grew up not feeling confident meeting new people and was super sensitive, I want Emmie to have someone she plays with fights with, everything. Xx
     
  5. MissKW

    MissKW Well-Known Member

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    Well I think we have decided to go for a second!! :) we are not 100% on when exactly as hubby is working away an awful lot at the moment but we should be ttc again within a year or so!!
    With DS being such an awesome little sweetheart, and seeing him play with other babies is just amazing and melts my heart. I would love for him to have a play mate and hopefully somebody to lean on as he grows. I can only hope that they will remain close as they grow.
    My family are extremely supportive and love DS to bits, family on both sides are always pertering to have him, I am not back at work yet so I love having DS with me all the time, which means family only get him to themselves if I'm at the gym etc (much to their disgust lol). So I'm sure they would love another also. My mum actually is already pestering asking if I will be having another lol.
    I know it will be a lot harder, but hopefully worth it in the end :)

    Have you come to a decision yet?
    If you feel it's right in your heart I think you should go for it, I'm sure your mum will enjoy another even if she's helping a lot, and I'm sure you will find a way around it and still make it work if its too much for her :) x x
     

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