❤️ September 2023 due date ❤️

[Sjf0709]

I keep thinking I feel movements too but I’m guessing it is just gas haha.

I had a cup of coffee this morning at my daughter’s gymnastics class and felt sick afterwards. Thankfully not enough that I was sick!

 

[holli]

Hope it doesn't happen all time I've never liked coffee but I'm a massive tea belly so I'm wounded I can't drink it at moment ill be back on it once this babba is here lol

Eventful day today didn't get me nap with river like usual . Willows school rang me to come get her the little shite has only gone and put something up her nose ...kids are awesome Lol

 

[Sjf0709]

Aw is willow ok?

I had an eventful day too unfortunately. My dad became unwell, taken to hospital in an ambulance, 8 hour wait in a+e then I finally got home at 4.30am for Isabella (my daughter) to wake up early at 6.15 then proceed to have a random meltdown. I managed to go back to sleep for a little bit before I started work at 10. I’m knackered!!

 

[holli]

Oh wow. Are you OK? How's your dad doing ? Hope he's ok.

Willows fine regarding the nose incident but had a bad day at school ended up been sent to head teacher she was punching windows ans kicking walls and screaming all cos teacher put music on in class. It must of triggered her off with her dad certain songs smells foods all set her off and it's bloody hard trying to calm her down. Got a lot to answer for that man I tell ya xx

 

[Unicorn]

Oh wow. Are you OK? How's your dad doing ? Hope he's ok.

Willows fine regarding the nose incident but had a bad day at school ended up been sent to head teacher she was punching windows ans kicking walls and screaming all cos teacher put music on in class. It must of triggered her off with her dad certain songs smells foods all set her off and it's bloody hard trying to calm her down. Got a lot to answer for that man I tell ya xx

Oh it's utterly heartbreaking Sarah I'm assuming the school know the situation so are making allowances for her? How's it all going if you don't mind me asking, is he currently on bail and do they think he'll be prosecuted for it? How did you find out? And was he ok in your relationship with him? Xx

 

[holli]

Oh it's utterly heartbreaking Sarah  I'm assuming the school know the situation so are making allowances for her? How's it all going if you don't mind me asking, is he currently on bail and do they think he'll be prosecuted for it? How did you find out? And was he ok in your relationship with him? Xx

Yeah hun school are aware Police go in to school and see her and a lady from isva (sexually abused ) goes to help. They have his photo so he doesn't try and pull a fast one and try and take her . Police was hoping it would go to court by January but he's just been bailed another 3 months the police woman whose in charge Says she wants everything so that cps can't turn it back or ask for more . They have his phone and he's not allowed near willow me or any children under 18. We had a good relationship and we just ended up morr like friends . We got on really well till it all come out I was good friends with his fiancee too and looked after their 1 yeat old son for them a few times. She went to his every weekend she used to say she never wanted to go but didn't say why which is why now I'm kicking myself for letting her go. He used to encourage her to go by taking her out or buying her things . She was at his like normal she had tea at his and came home for 6pm I had a bath run ready for her she got In it and screamed I thought I'd done it too hot but got her out and saw her tuppy looked rather sore she didn't say anything and then when she was in bed that night she screamed house down and just said it all that daddy hurts her tuppy he bites it and puts Sharpe things in it said he used to whisper to her while every one was downstairs watching TV talking about his hard tuppy (she calls Penis's tuppys) saying all things a 4 year old should not know about . Took her to doctors the morning indidnt tell them what she said just asked them to look at her she freaked out and become hysterical again and blurted it all out to doctors. The doctor phoned safe guarding who called the police he was arrested pretty much straight away they took all her bedding and clothing from his house. Police came and took us to children's hospital next day we spent 5 hours there while they tried to examine her the doctor said she had never witnessed a kid so terrified obviously it's her job and she's used to that so does it alot and she said the kids usually find it hilarious they had a camera like a minion to take photos and help them feel at ease while been examined willow shook hardly breathed was so sunset was horrific seeing her like it she had marks and the doctor said somethings deffo happened looking at state of her tuppy he's obviously denied it but the police are very positive he won't get away with it she's got to go to hospital in Feb for bloods to double check she's not got anything from him like hiv ect I will loose my shit if she's got anything. Since then she's terrified he's going to come and get her she won't sleep with her bedroom window open incase he climbs up she won't have her door closed she freaks out at whispering and certain songs. She wouldn't do pe at school at first as a man pe teacher comes in to do it and she used to do fitness with him. She won't go near boys or men freaks out .I kept saying I didn't get it and police said good cos if you did then you are justifying it. I feel so guilty I've got a mental health nurse who comes ans sees me cos I hate that I didn't protect her and I keep trying to think how long has it gone on for ? I'm just glad she spoke out about it I just struggle sometimes how to deal with it with her I mean she got so angry with it she bit her bed covers in anger and pulled her 2 bottom teeth out that wasn't even wobbly had to buy her one of those necklaces you can bite on when she feels that way as she will bite her arms and make them bleed xx

 

[Unicorn]

Oh Sarah I'm so sorry, that's utterly horrific! But you mustn't blame yourself, this was in no way your fault and Willow needs you at full strength to get through this, which you will, together! It sounds like you're doing an amazing job in a horrendous situation and I really hope he gets what he deserves! What happened to his fiancée and 1 year old? Do they think it was a one off with Willow or had happened before? Xx

 

[Fsb676]

That is so unbelievably horrific. I’m so sorry for both of you!!! The poor thing!!!! I’m so glad you finally found out, and that you have some support!

 

[holli]

We have no idea she has come home before with marks and bruises ans when I've questioned him about them he's laughed and said it's just willow been clumsy but some of the marks was where you don't expect them to be by banging herself. Luckily I kept all his texts when questioning him about it and I took photos cos I always sent them to my mum saying what do you make of these ? She hadn't wanted to go for a long time so I have no idea how long its gone on for. Ha don't get me started on his fiancee she's sticking by him which makes me feel she's part of it although willow doesn't mention her in it. The police have told her all the evidence yet she's still standing by him he's been bailed at his mum and dad's (my mum said sorry Sarah but if you or your brother did that I wouldn't let you be bailed at mine I'd kill you) she's told police they aren't together but she's lying his cars been seen at house alot and he was at barbers across from mine on Xmas eve. It all come out in July last year. They took his son to hospital to be checked but luckily doesn't look like he's been touched. Her sisters fella keeps sending me friend requests on Facebook. I had rivers 1st Birthday cake made and the lady put it on her page which his fiancee saw and she shared it hearted it and said how amazing it was which annoyed me cos she would have known it was for my baby. I just want it to go to court now cos I cakt go to shops or park wirh willow incase we bump into him she's terrified so we are looking at moving we need to any ways cos we are in a 2 bed house and now with another baby on way it's too small. I want willow feeling safe again. She's asked my partner if he can be her daddy and I said are you sure she said yes she comes out with things like I won't be happy till my bad daddy is dead what 4 year old says that? She's asked police if they can kill him we was hoping it would all be sorted some what this month but obviously he's been bailed another 3 months so hopefully this is it now he can get anything up to life for it I don't think he thinks he will get sentenced with how he's carrying on like nothing xx

 

[holli]

This is email she sent me other day

 

[Sjf0709]

Aw I am so sorry Sarah. This is unbelievably horrific. Sending you all lots of love. Is willow seeing a counsellor to help her process everything?

 

[holli]

The police and my doctor tried to get her CAHMS but they refused her as they don't deal with children under 5 even tho she needs help and will be 5 at end of April they just said If she's still struggling a few weeks before she turns 5 then to get back in touch. It's ridiculous. So a lady from ISVA has only just started to help she's been twice and has been texting me occasionally to see how things are I've asked for another visit with how she's been this week so she's looking at going into school next week to see her there. She works along side some one at CAHMS so she's qualified for it all. But we feel she's been let down with it to say it came out in July and she's only just started getting help she doesn't know how to deal or express her emotions and feelings so she lashes out and screams and throws things or bites things or herself . Me and my partner was looking at starting a charity once this is all over as we think its disgusting no one will touch or help them if they are under 5 and as horrible it is to think about there's soooo many kids under 5 been abused that both them and family need help and don't feel alone with it all xx

 

[Fsb676]

Wow this is all ridiculous….and the poor thing cant get help

 

[holli]

Winds me up I tell ya

 

[Unicorn]

Ah Sarah, it's so much for you all to be going through! I can't believe his fiancée is sticking by him, what a fool! I really hope he gets life and you and Willow get the support you need and can move on from all of this xx

 

[holli]

I hope so too. Willow had another bad morning at school but was OK for the afternoon. We've had lots of cuddles after she had dance class . I left Danny wirh river so I could have mummy and willow time she had her tea played in the bath I got in her bed with her I read her a story and we watched some bluey she's obsessed wirh it but I must admit I quite like it too and it teaches all the right things aswell as been funny. We cuddled and she was yawning and she said she wanted to go to sleep so she was sock on for 7 bless her just been in and checked her she's star fishing wirh gob wide open kissed her forehead she smiled she's a cutie . That's her in my profile pic on her first birthday cake smash .she's not changed much apart from her hairs pure ringlets to her bum and she's very tall she's in 8-9 clothes no one believes she's only 4 that doesn't know her . Orderd her lots of paints and more arts and crafts things from amazon to come tomorrow so if its crappy weather over weekend we are entertained. She knows about the baby she wants another sister so I actually dread to see how she will be if it turns out a boy. School think jt might help if its a boy. Xx