your partner

[JustTrying]

"A woman becomes a mother as soon as she finds out she is pregnant and a man becomes a father once the baby is born"

I understand the above but I also believe you both go through the changes together before baby arrives.

What role has your partner played so far and has he been very supportive?

This is a non judgemental thread as we all know men in general can't grasp the "pregnancy bit"

 

[TORino]

My husband is not interested in the main. That’s going to sound awful but I think it’s his way of coping. I’ve decided I think it’s because of the journey we’ve come through to get to this point, he doesn’t want to get attached incase something bad happens. What with miscarriages and ectopic pregnancies etc I think he just considers it will become real when it’s born.

I do try and be patient with him and engage him with the bonding, but as I’ve had periods of time where I’ve felt in a similar manner I do to an extent get where he is coming from. He doesn’t like feeling my belly or talking to the baby or anything like that. Gosh I know that sounds terrible.

He’s focusing on putting the house right so is contributing in his own way to the preparations. He will look after me and run baths and rub my feet etc but it’s just acknowledgement of the baby he doesn’t do too much of. He has missed a few of my appointments as well.

Having said that... when this little bundle is here I know he will be the best Dad. I can’t fault him as a parent one bit. He’s much more talented at it than I am and I consider myself lucky to have a partner like that. My little girl adores and respects him hugely.

 

[Wednesday]

My partner is fantastic, and has been so lovely at doing all the housework because Im unable to bend due to pelvis problems.

The only thing hes crap at is feeling my belly move! He never seems that interested, but I think its normal for them not to be as engaged as we are.

 

[Selphie]

My fiancé has been wonderful, he's helped me from the start. He did all the housework and cooking when I was suffering with bad morning sickness. Won't let me do a lot of the housework now even though I can manage to some extent. He's starting to watch for movement in my bump now as it's very obvious, where as before he'd miss it

 

[Starchild]

My partner was a lot more interested in pregnancy with our first, as in excited about it all, talking about baby names & feeling the kicks. He was less interested this time but we've been a lot busier too having a 3yo.

However he had no choice but to be supportive as I had pregnancy sickness & then pre eclampsia.

He's been just as loving and involved with both babies though.

They can sometimes 'forget' about it all as they're not carrying the baby. Mind you sometimes with my son I forgot I was pregnant.

 

[Loveandpeace]

Torino my husbamd is quite similar in that he just wants the baby here and healthy and is almost afraid to get too excited until he actually has our baby in his arms.
He cried (tears of joy not fear lol) when I showed him my bfp and he couldnt wait to tell all his friends and family. Now though I think he is just bored waiting.
It must be quite common because he is almost disinterested or maybe cautious in touching my belly to feel the baby moving. Although anytime he has the baby stops lol.
He is really good sorting all the manly type jobs around the house done in preparation for the baby and is really helpful with housework and cooking now and making sure I am not overdoing it. He wasnt keen on going to some appointments either but after going to one he realises how useful they are to him and what he learns from it.
He is good at rubbing my feet & giving hugs when im hormonal. We are still intimate in bed but just not as often.
However he does show bouts of excitement and randomly emails me at work with baby names and also he has researched and bought the baby carrier & a few other items (after heavily researching them lol).
I understand the men can feel disconnected from it all when its us going through everything physically and emotionally.

 

[Blank_Page]

My husband has been fantastic support while I've suffered hyperemesis. But he's been more worried about me and I don't think the baby really seemed real to him until after the 20 weeks scan because not only did he see them but by that point my bump had recently popped and he could feel/see their kicks. I think as the birth gets closer he can see more and more their movements and my growing bump. He's more inclined now to talk to them, feel/kiss my belly. Previously I think he was one of those people who believed thru aren't alive until birth but I think he can quite clearly see there's a live wriggly little person in there now

 

[JustTrying]

The other day a friend came over with her 7 month old he took to her so much and remembered how cute babies are. It's made him all broody and excited for our own arrival

 

[Sk8erzeh]

My hubby is getting more n more involved with time e.g. touching my belly and talking to baby. I'm pleased as he's not the emotional type.

 

[MissKW]

My hubby has been amazing! This will be our first baby and he has been so supportive and understanding. He has been to every appointment despite work commitments, paid for extra scans, passed me wet wipes and loo roll every single time I was sick during the first trimester (which was a LOT!), cleaned out sick bowls, carried sick bags around in his pockets for when I needed them whilst we were out, gone to the shop at silly o clock for cravings, bought all of my maternity clothing, done all the house work when I wasn't feeling up to it, decorated babies room, really read into pregnancy and newborns (he actually knows more about everything than I do lol), he looks after me when I feel faint after blood tests etc. The list goes on, you name it, he does it, I have never had to ask him for anything either, he just does it anyway
He likes talking to baby and feeling him kick etc. He has never been an emotional guy as he's a typical mans man, but he is so interested in the whole thing and his main priority right now is to look after me and our baby which is soooo lovely. When we go to scans the smile on his face is ridiculous and soon everybody else in the room ends up with a huge grin too, hes just so excited about it especially after loosing our first pregnancy. Whenever I am feeling down due to sickness, hormones or whatever else he always cheers me up and I am so so grateful for him!! I know I am extremely lucky compared to many women, I really wish there were more men like him out there, he will be such an amazing father and role model for our son!!