Would you feel the same?

[lisey]

Right, I don't know if I am being overly sensitive (feel a bit down lately so quite possible).
The thing that is bothering me is; my sister moved 3 hours away from our area with her husband, Anyways, my mum has been to visit her and she has said for me and my OH to go and stay with them for a weekend...all lovely except I have a son and she hasn't said to take him. My son has severe autism and she probably assumes I wouldn't take him as he could find it quite stressful but I feel she could at least offer and make it seem that he is welcome there, I mean I take him on holidays so she knows he is able to cope with going to new places if I prepare him for it but it has never ever been mentioned for him to come along. She has said for my brother and his children to go though? I just feel like he is not invited because of his difficulties. I am used to this, we get left out of things all the time but it doesn't make it any easier. She may be thinking it would be a nice break for me but I feel she hasn't even considered the possibility of me taking him. I can't bring this up with her as we fell out for 2 years some years ago because of some family issues, including her ignoring my son when he was little and I don't want a repeat of it. I just want to know if anyone else would feel this way? xx

 

[jennyfur]

Maybe she's just assuming that by inviting you that you would interpret that as your son being invited too? When I ask my sister over I just assume she'll bring her DS too, I wouldn't' invite him separately iykwim? I hope you sort it out soon. x

 

[lisey]

She specifically said me and my OH, saying "the two of you should come visit soon". She may be thinking it would be nice for me to have a break so she could be thinking of it in a nice way but I feel bad for my boy being excluded once again x

 

[Jayjay027]

I agree with jennyfur. She may just assume that by inviting you, you know she means ur son too. Any tme I invite my brothers over I dont say "bring ur wife and kids too" - they just know that everyone is included in the invite.
They do the same with me. I.e "do u wanna come over on Sat?" - they dont just mean me, they mean hubby and Sophia too.

 

[lisey]

She definitely means just us two as she mentioned in the same conversation about my son staying with my mum while we stay with her for the weekend. Its too far away to just pop in and visit. I think she just doesn't know how to be around him or interact with him as she doesn't have much experience of autism. I am sure she doesn't mean it horribly and I am prob being silly cos of the way I'm feeling lately but it hurt my feelings when she said about us two going and then a little later talking about my brother and his daughters going x

 

[Rachel80]

Like you said previously she probably thinks it would be a nice break for you & perhaps she would like to spend some time with you without any distractions? Maybe your arguments from the past have a baring on how you feel now? If you want to take your son why not just say to her is it ok if I bring him? I don't want to leave him & it would be a nice little break for him too. She's either going to say yes or no, & if she says no you'll know she would prefer him not to visit! x

 

[lisey]

Yeah I think you're right. I was having a bad few days and I think it brought up the way I felt in the past. I can look at it more clearly now and she is probably thinking of giving me a break away x