Worrying im only young and no contraception for 2 years!

[Angel92]

Hi Ladies,

Please can someone give me reassurance or advice?! Il explain my whole situation below:

I have fallen pregnant 3 times before and as I struggle to type this I have to say it I had abortions as my ex partner was cheating on me.

I am in a happy relationship and 3 years on I am now officially ready even though we have been ready for a while .. I have been on NO contraception whatsoever for the past 2 years .. I suffered at the beginning with lots of water infections due to his shower gel, making me scared about making love. We are only young and in all honesty we rarely had it maybe twice every 3 weeks if that for a long time. Now we are trying and this is my fourth month in ttc and nothing is happening .. I know I am desperate for this to happen and I do reflexology and calm myself .. I take folic acid .. and we are both healthy people dont drink dont smoke .. but I cant help but worry that i now cant have children or where i haven't been on contraception for so long it hasn't happened or is that because we were trying and rarely made love? I have taken this up with my partner and he says I am being negative and im being silly its like banging my head against a brick wall. We have been having it near on every day in my ovulation week whereas this month I tried every other day and the three days upto and including ovulation we did it. I noticed there wasnt as much sperm as we might have cleared him out :/ ... please can I have some suggestions?

Thank you x

 

[candymycandy]

If you were only previously having sex twice every 3 weeks your chances would've been greatly reduced. Women actively ttc only have a 25% chance of conceiving each cycle. You haven't been trying for very long at all now, doctors will only consider investigating things after a year of actively ttc so this gives you an idea of average conception times. Every other day over your fertile period is usually suffice to catch the egg and give sperm a chance to build again. Have you used opks?

Also just to let you know it's not permitted to talk about abortions on this ttc forum.

 

[Dolores]

Hi Angel,

4 months is not very long at all! I can assure you - I am good friends with a few doctors and a year is average and perfectly normal.

I have also read having sex every other day is probably right, and if you can try and work out when you ovulate, if you can have sex a few days before and during this time you will greatly increase your chances.

I was in a slightly similar situation to you I think - I have always been with he same man who is now my husband, but when I was 23 I fell pregnant and was so scared. I felt so young, not ready, we were renting, he was running his own business and under money pressures and things just weren't right, and sadly I made the decision to have an abortion. For a few years after I was convinced I had ruined myself and because of my termination wouldn't be able to get pregnant in the future.

We started trying and honestly we weren't trying hard - we only had sex about twice a week on average, we had a lot going on, but after 5 months of anticipation I got a positive and we were over the moon!

You have to keep positive and try not to focus on baby baby baby! Try to enjoy the sex for enjoyment sake! You're only young, you're taking folic acid - you're doing everything right. Relax and it will happen. 4 month's trying would be very fast

How old are you by the way?

Lots of love and good luck,

x

 

[Angel92]

Thank you for replying to me.

I am 25, I know everyone says its young but actually for me its not as I would have liked to have had a child by now.
I dont understand why it is not happening to me. Worried I have damaged myself.

I use testing kits each month but its just not happening. the doctor said doing it everyday is not good as the sperm take 48 hours to reproduce in the testicles so its best to do it every 3 days but that to me seems to long!

 

[holli]

Hey, healthy sperm can live inside you between 5-7 days maximum so by dtd every other day you will be more than covered try not to stress over it as that can have an effect on it I know easier said than done, don't make sex a chore either as it should be good loving fun between you good luck xx

 

[Donna88]

I agree with the others, just keep trying and stay positive. I know that's easier said than done but worrying will just make it harder for you to conceive anyway as stress doesn't help. Just relax and enjoy trying for a while

 

[Angel92]

Thank you everyone, x

 

[Bexta123]

I feel like I'm in a similar situation as you. I'm 26 OH Is 28 , I have been off the pill for 14 months now & it's only been the last 5/6 months we have been properly trying. But I can't help but wonder why In all this time of 'not preventing' that I didn't get caught out which is what we were hoping for.
This is my 2nd attempt using OPKS this month as previously I was just guessing the ovulation signs & charting which could of been where I'm going wrong slightly. are you getting positive Opks?
X

 

[Angel92]

Sorry I'm late on replying to you I've been testing and getting positive on ovulation kits but it's all driving me mad at the moment everyone tells me to stop worrying but I can't .. I get slight aches in my ovaries/pelvis throughout the month and I'm now worrying I have developed endometriosis I just can't win I've booked to see someone but takes 6 months! I just feel so low from all of this! Has he been tested ? Xx

 

[Bexta123]

My sister has just.been diagnosed with endo, but she has been pregnant before so it's definitely not impossible she suffers from awful period pains & diarrhoea & sickness after having sex as the pain used to be so bad for her.
Worth getting checked just to put your mind at rest in the meantime keep trying you never know you might not need hat appt after all. I normally get slight pains on ovaries during ovulation too, I read that it's quite normal.
No my OH Has not been tested we are giving it 3 more months & then gonna go from there. Aim is to have a bun in the oven before Xmas but clearly nothing you ever want in life is easy. Has your OH been tested?xx