Worried I feel this way...went to docs pg 2

[lulu]

In some respects I feel a bit awful for posting this in here but not sure where else I would post it. Doesnt seem right in amongst all the positive and excited threads!

Im struggling to feel anything about this pregnancy and the imminent arrival of LO.

I haven't bought anything apart from one outfit on ebay to bring LO home in.

I haven't even thought about getting things ready or sorting things out. Not even sorted out my hosptal bag yet or really even thought about it.

Maybe its because its my 2nd, but then that makes me feel guilty because I feel like I should feel as I did first time round!

I have felt very lonely throughout this pregnancy, not had a great deal of support from OH (which he has admitted to) and it hasn't been the most enjoyable of pregnancies.
Even things like mentioning when the baby moves to OH and other family members, no one seems interested or wants to feel. I sometimes feel like I cant talk about, or mention it.

The other day a complete stranger touched my bump in the petrol station and it was nice to have some interest but in another way I couldnt understand why as no one else is interested.

I feel like I should be enjoying being pregnant, and getting excited about LO's arival but Im not

I hope this doesnt upset anyone, I feel like an ungrateful freak.

I was thinking of going to see the doc as I have been very down lately, suffering anxiety attacks and feeling very aggitated - all signs of my depression!

Thanks for reading!

 

[BeckyJ]

awww dont feel bad, some people do get like this, maybe you will get more excited towards the end, it doesnt help that your OH isnt excited as im sure if he was then u would be as well

 

[Suzie and Faith]

I know you've had it rough recently and my heart goes out to you xxxxx

I don't really know what to suggest, but maybe talk to your doc/midwife, it always helps to talk things through and they may have suggestions for helping you feel better xxxxxxxxxx

 

[sarah2807]

sorry you're not feeling so good hun.
Don't feel bad for posting on it...that's what we are all here for.

Maybe mention in to MW she might have some advice.

Hope you feel better soon.xxxx

 

[lulu]

I just lashed out, completely over the top, because jack splashed his weetabix everywhere! I feel so bad.

Smacked his hand and he cried

What a crap mummy I am!

Given him kisses and cuddles and said sorry loads and he is ok but I cant beleive I lost it.

Im so scared and worried now - just feel so alone and down. Not sure I can take anymore!

Feel like I cant cope. (hate myself for this)

 

[Keano_Forever]

Hi Lulu,

Firstly have some of these
It's understandable that you may be at the end of your tether, you are heavily pregnant, it's very very hot and on top of that you have allot to deal with at the moment.

I think how you are feeling is a build up of everything that is happening recently with your oh and perhaps is a sign that you should make a clean break before this LO arrives.

Then, at least you can have a clear head and start to get prepared fro the baby. I'm sure your stress levels will fall when you are only having to be thinking of yourself, Jack and the LO.

Please don't feel alone, and if you need a rant then come on here and do it

 

[sarafet]

aww hun please try not to fall apart, for your little ones sake

i've been keeping an eye on whats going on with you and my heart is absolutely breaking for you, it must be so hard

i'll send you a pm just now

 

[abcd1234]

From reading you're other thread i can understand exactly why baby may not be at the forfront of your mind. I dont beleive you dont care about LO i think you've probably got so much going on it's hard for you to get wrapped up in baby stuff.

I feel bad when i rush around and dont stop to feel Tally kick, feels like she knows (when in reality i doubt she does lol) i also have found myself at times thinking of how much easier life would be if i hadnt got pregnant and how sometimes when baby daddy is a prick i dont feel as connected to her. I know it'll pass but it does make you feel bad.

I hate saying it but i wish i wasnt having his baby. I dont wanna get rid of her i just would love her to be someone elses, its hard cos i know if i changed anyhthing she wouldnt be the same little person.

I hope you start feeling better soon but like i said before i dont think how your feeling has anything to do with LO or Jack. It may be slightly hormone related but other things seem to be whats upsetting you

 

[fuffins1981]

I know how you feel.

I have been very much the same. OH has been up and down, but finally now has become very supportive.

I think when we have a lot of stresses, the baby becomes a second thought (not intentionally) as they are safe inside. Whereas the other stuff is in our faces and needs attention asap.

For me, all the pregnancy probs have made me scared to get attached incase something happens.

I really hope things start to turn around for you soon. In whatever way is best for you

 

[keli]

xx

 

[lulu]

Just been sat on the floor, OH at the computer as usual with the football on the telly (I hate football but couldnt be arsed to argue about what to watch)

Baby was moving, to the point my tummy was all over the place and it was hurting. I made a big deal out of it so OH noticed and then I mentioned about the women in the petrol station the other day. Wanted to see what reaction I got and whether he would actually attempt to feel baby. But no, somehing happened on he football and all focus was on that!!! He isn't even a big football follower!

He did ask if there was any pattern to babies movements but that was it!

 

[fuffins1981]

what was he like when you was having Jack?

Dis-interest is one of the most hurtful things. MY OH could be like that at times. It really used to upset me. Would make me want to do something terrible just to get a reaction!

 

[Geordie&Bairn]

Just got your text i hate t- mobile
Pm'd you hunny
sorry i didnt see this earlier

 

[lulu]

what was he like when you was having Jack?

It was a different situation with jack. At the beginning, not a pleasant one. In short i discovered i was pregnant after knowing him for about 9 months. I had recently moved out to my own place (lived with him as a lodger). He didnt want the baby but I was going to have him anyway. He wanted me to have a termination at first and some harsh words were exchanged but then he decided to think about the idea and came round to the idea. Not long after that I moved back in and the rest of the pregnancy was good. I felt great, everyone was interested, over the moon etc. He was interested and was great.

 

[CharlieC]

Go see your doctor, that black cloud of depression can really cloud your judgement and it may be that it's making things seem bleaker than they really are. So sorry you're feeling so down.

 

[Rosie1]

Sorry to hear you're feeling like that hun and don't feel bad about posting, that's why we're here.

I think maybe you should go see the doc, especially if you have had depression before, maybe he can help you feel more positive.

I wouldn't feel too guilty, i'm sure you'l love LO just the same once he/she is here.

xx

 

[lulu]

Hi guys, I went to see the doctor today. He has taken some bloods to see if my 'TSH' Levels (thyroid) are too high as Im on a very high dose of thyroxine and if I get too much it could cause anxiety.

He also prescribed diazepan, he said it wouldnt harm baby. he said it was up to me but if he prescribd it at least i would have something and if i didnt use it, so be it.

He said he would ring back tonight with blood test results.