Worried about my sister's reaction

[Pemsy]

Hi all

I am really worried about my sister. We're not very close, we get on we'll and I love her but we've never been ones for big honest heart to hearts etc. We're just two different types of people but that's not to say we don't get on.

She has really struggled with infertility. The issue lays with her husband so I think she feels a bit helpless as he is refusing to use a donor. Apperntly there is still some hope but it may take a long time.

She took the news well (no over the top celebrations) but she didn't get upset. I did it over the phone so that I didn't overwhelm her. She has since asked to see photos etc.

With this weekend being Mother's Day I didn't want to upset her. I tried to hide my bump under a baggy top but I know she saw it at times. She is also older than me.

After our lunch she went off to the living room and lay down. I didn't see her again till I left and said bye. I called her today to check up about some things. She didn't answer twice and replied via text, she answered when I called again but sounded very down and may have been crying. I know my mum is worried too!

She's lost a lot of weight over recent months and was previously anorexic. I feel so guilty but I just don't know what's best to do. I think she would become upset and uncomfortable if I asked her about it directly. Should I just try to be a better sister and check in more often (not to discuss baby) or should I give her space? Normally I would try to meet up but I think seeing my tummy will make everything worse. I know my mum is trying to see her a bit more now.

Does anyone have any advice? X

 

[redbear]

If give her space but give her a text to check in now and then. It will be hard for her and she may just need some space. She is probably worried about you feeling guilty too and might not want sympathy. It's a hard situation but one she needs to come to terms with herself. Asking for photos is a huge step she is obviously trying xxx

 

[1sttimemum2b]

Yeh don't overwhelm her. Keep in contact and don't mention the pregnancy unless she asks. If she does keep it short and sweet. Don't suggest meeting unless she does.
It's a horrible situation from her pov you are having the thing she wants most in the whole world so you are right to try and be sensitive.
She will come round but it will be harder for her the bigger your tummy gets and when baby is born.

 

[Pemsy]

Okay thank you. Being worried makes me want to help and each out but I want to do what is best for her so I will let her take the lead and check in my with mum x

 

[SalisburyMum]

I think she needs support but not from you right now xx

 

[snowbee]

I think you are doing great considering her feelings. I've been on the other end of this and all I would suggest is actually saying to her if you want to be involved more just say, as sometimes I felt people were blocking me out to try to spare the details, when actually I felt left out of yet more baby stuff. For example I wasn't invited to a few baby things as people thought I wasn't interested. While I might of declined if I was finding it too hard it would have been nice to have been invited.