worried about everything!

[the26thchoice]

[FONT=book antiqua,palatino]Hi all. So much to say... introductions i guess would be good! I am 28yrs, married last October and i already have a little boy who is 6years old. He is not the biological son of my OH but he is the only Dad he has ever known. My ex hasn't ever seen him, hasnt seen me since i was about 5 months pregnant when i had to return to live with my parents as he was violent, aggressive and scary! He also got me into ALOT of debt at the time. I am desperate to have another child with my husband. I only have one ovary as had one removed when i was 13yrs and the other has cysts so i always worry i wont have any many years to try as most. My husband had a massive car crash 3 years ago and is only just returning to work as a plasterer (self employed) - i work for local council as family support worker (so around babies all the time which is not helping me at all..redundancy is always looming from one year to the next as with all local councils. I had terrible hyperemesis with my last pregnancy which put me in hospital etc so the idea of having that all again scares the bejesus out of me!! The biggest thing tho, which is so silly.... is my worry about other peoples reaction. Because of the bad situation last time with my ex, my parents have always seen my pregnancy as a bad thing, tho they adore my son!! I am so scared of what they would say if i got pregnant again - i am 28 and married, i KNOW!!!! But an example is... whenever i mention to my mum that i have felt sick (not pregnancy related convo whatsoever!!!) ie that i have felt dicky tummy from sommat dodgy to eat ec, her first response is "oh my god, you arent pregnant are you?!?!" - and the look of panick on her face scares me and saddens me. [/FONT]
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[FONT=book antiqua,palatino]Sorry to go on, i am sure most of you will probably think i am just mad and that the situation re work and all the rest should tell me to not even contemplate it...... but i cant help the longing.. i also long for my little boy to enjoy having a sibling, which the older he gets, the more i worry he wont wanna know lol!![/FONT]
[FONT=book antiqua,palatino]My hubby doesnt really realise the extent to which i wanna really have another baby - he is one of those guys who wouldnt ever say "lets try for a baby", he doesnt really think ahead etc... but if i got pregnant, he would be happy enough (at least i hope so LOL!)[/FONT]
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[FONT=book antiqua,palatino]Anyway, sorry for the long rant! Wasnt sure if this was the right place to post.......??[/FONT]
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[FONT=book antiqua,palatino]Laura xx[/FONT]

 

[MrsKS]

Laura, I know what its like to want a mothers approval but her reaction seems unwarranted now considering you have moved on so much and are happily married. Perhaps it is because you had a complicated pregnancy with the hyperemesis that she worries you will get that again. Ultimately I think you should have a heart to heart with your husband and let him know how much you would love to have a child with him and for your son to have a sibling. Since he is just back to work, perhaps go easy with him at first in terms of timelines as he probably wants to get more stablilised with regard money for a while. Hope you get the support you need, you sound like you know what you want, hope it works out for you !