Woman loses final embryo appeal

[Tangerinedream]

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/6530295.stm

this is so sad. it is such a shame her eggs were fertilised then he withdrew concent. i would feel that by allowing his sperm to fertilise the eggs he was giving his concent. if he had got her pregnant the normal way he couldnt withdraw it then. what would he do- force her to terminate. poor woman, my heart goes out to her.

 

[Nicola]

That is such a contraversal topic though, yes it's a shame for the woman involved etc but it's also not fair to make him become a father when he doesn't want to type thing. It's a strong sided battle on both sides.

 

[missac]

I think it must be a devestatin thing to go through and really feel for the the woman, but I am afraid to say that if the man doesn't want to be a father it is unfair to force it upon him, it is such a major commitment and a decision that should not be made by a court room. If either one want them destroyed then that is what shoudl happen.

Horrid situation though.

 

[budge]

must be heartbreaking. but im afraid at the end of the day i think it was the right decision.
the poor woman though.

 

[chezzabell]

thinks its a awful thing and i feel so sorry for her

 

[krystal&jack]

I really feel for her, to go through cancer treatment then find out you can't have the children you wnted must be devastating

But i also agree with other argument which is if he didn't want to be a dad then the right decision was taken.

Hard one though

 

[Tangerinedream]

I know its a whole 'can of worms' but had she not had cancer they might have had kids if they were at the stage in the relationship where he made the decision to fertilise her eggs. what would he have done then? i can see both side of the argument. i just feel for her so much.

 

[Gaby]

i think she's right - the second allowed her eggs to be fertilised by his sperm, he gave consent for her to use those at any time in the future. but then, i'm a life-starts-at-conception kinda person. are they going to destroy the embryos?

 

[trixipaws]

aw, poor lady. i agree gaby & tangerinedream, it is the equivalent of forcing her into abortion had it been a regular conception. he fertilized the eggs and its mean of him to deny her growing them into a baby. its ok for him he can still have babies if he wants

 

[nathanmum]

i think that when he agreed to fertilise her eggs he agreed to have a child with her. this woman had cancer and it robbed her the chance of a family how must that feel?! i do feel really sorry for her.
on the otherhand if i was the mans new girlfriend there is no way i would want him to have a child with his ex girlfriend. whether he wanted anything to do with it or not.
at the end of the day there is no right or wrong answer it just an awful dilemma.

 

[Becks&Riley]

must be heartbreaking. but im afraid at the end of the day i think it was the right decision.
the poor woman though.

I Agree
i hope he never wants 2 get back with her lol they would have ruined their chances of children

 

[cloud9]

I see both sides of the argument ...Don't know what the right answer is just glad i don't have to make descisions like that.

 

[Becks&Riley]

But then he doesnt have to have anything to do with the child he probably just did it to be nasty lol

 

[Hypnorm]

But then he doesnt have to have anything to do with the child he probably just did it to be nasty lol

i think that was an unfair comment, if they have split up then he doesnt have to be forced in to having a child, i feel for her but i think it was the right decision. If she was pregnant then that would be a different kettle of fish.

There are other options open to her, adoption and fostering - i know not the same as her own child but there are lots of children needing a loving home.

 

[budge]

But then he doesnt have to have anything to do with the child he probably just did it to be nasty lol

i think that was an unfair comment, if they have split up then he doesnt have to be forced in to having a child, i feel for her but i think it was the right decision. If she was pregnant then that would be a different kettle of fish.

There are other options open to her, adoption and fostering - i know not the same as her own child but there are lots of children needing a loving home.

i agree. but i do feel very sorry for her.

 

[jenna]

i dont understand why they were fertilized. why werent they just frozen? I think he has every right to say no... id rather have no kids than kids with a guy that doesnt want them.

 

[Becks&Riley]

But then he doesnt have to have anything to do with the child he probably just did it to be nasty lol

i think that was an unfair comment, if they have split up then he doesnt have to be forced in to having a child, i feel for her but i think it was the right decision. If she was pregnant then that would be a different kettle of fish.

There are other options open to her, adoption and fostering - i know not the same as her own child but there are lots of children needing a loving home.

but you must admit adopting and fostering is not quite the same lol

 

[mummykay]

feel sorry for the woman but u do need both partners consent? sad situation

 

[Alfiesmummy]

either way its so sad, no matter what happened one oarent was going to lose the right to chose and thats a horrible situation to be in. the only thing is there are more options open to the lady, i realise it isnt the same as having your own, but what a feeling it must be to be giving a child who needs it a good home, whereas the guy would have no choice he would be a dad ts all well and good saying he didnt have to have anything to do with the baby but at the end of the day that would be HIS baby too why would he not want to be part of its life. I do agree the best decision was made, forcing someone to be a parent is awful, although i feel for her too.

 

[Nicola]

i dont understand why they were fertilized. why werent they just frozen? I think he has every right to say no... id rather have no kids than kids with a guy that doesnt want them.

You can't have just eggs frozen in this country, it's not a widely spread practice at all as they jus don't keep. For some reason they the eggs have to fertalize and then be frozen to be defrosted later. Even then the chances of having a child from FET (frozen embryo transfer) as much lower than chances of a child via IVF using embryos that have never been frozen. Even allowed to use them there was no guarentee that she'd have ever become pregnant with them.

I don't honestly think you can fully understand this unless you have been in a similar situation. Natural conception is surely a wonderful thing but of every two couples who can concieve there is another who can't and going through any type of treatment, making decisions about frozen embryos, having them destroyed or what ever is one of the hardest things to have to decide upon.

There are other ways that lady could still concieve, i.e. donor eggs with her new partner/husbands sperm, genetically it wouldn't be hers but it would be her husbands and having carried the child, nurtured it for 9 months etc makes her the mother...hundreds of couples concieve using donor eggs every year, it's an upsetting situation for her I'm sure but it's not the end of the road for her maternally speaking.