Who's The Father :S (advice Plz)

[xJuliex]

hi, was just wondering if any of you ladies would be kind enough to gove me your advice/opinion on my situation as i'v read the women in TTC would be abit more clued up on the issues of ovulation etc than anywhere else. so here goes...
i am now 27 weeks pregnant and due on 20th May. I'm sort of unsure about who the father might be...not a good situation and i really did'nt mean to get myself into it but its done now so all i can do is deal with it.. anyways my cycle is about 31 days long and last period started on 5th August and lasted for about 4 days. i had sex with guy #1 on 24th August and on the morning of 31st august i had a small amount of pinky discharge (maybe implantation bleeding?) then that night and the night after i had sex with guy #2. i took a pregnancy test on 10th September which was posotive. Im was pretty sure my baby was guy #1's but since i had my dating scan and they told me i was due on the 20th May im unsure. I know a DNA will only tell for sure but its reaallly stressing me out and would just like to know what you ladies think

Thanks for reading and thanks for any help xx

 

[choklatemunky]

Hi.
Im no expert but..
I would say that its more likely to be #1 .
If you started your last period on 5th Aug and your cycles were 31 days then you would have been due a period around 5th Sept. If you were having a 'normal' cycle and didnt ovulate late, although not impossible, it would be unlikely that you would have been fertile as late as the 31st Aug. The pinky d/c you had could well have been an implantation bleed - it would be in the right time frame had you conceived on 24th. That would have been about day 20 of your cycle and is in the normal range of times for ov with a cycle of 31days.

However, it is impossible to know for sure when you ovulated and when you were fertile - you may have ovulated late and that would mean that #2 is 'in the frame'.

but id hazard a guess at no1 due to the 'usual' timings.

Im not sure how they calculate due dates so if anyone else has an opinion on that side of things Id be interested to know......

Hope you are ok

 

[Kittykins]

what a mess for you...

I don't know if I can help, but here are some facts about cycles generally. Regardless of the cycle length, women generally ovulate 12-16 days before the first day of the period. The most fertile days are the day of ovulation and the two days before. It is possible, but less likely, to get pregnant from sex the day after ovulation, and up to 5 days before. Sperm generally survive up to 3 days, max 5, the egg survives 12-24 hours after ovulation.

So, if your cycles are usually 31 days, you would expect to ovulate around day 19 to day 23. In a cycle beginning on 5 August, that would make ovulation 24-28 August, most likely 26th. This would suggest guy #1 was timed perfectly for your fertile period (sth that many of us here struggle to achieve each month - ironic, eh?). However, ovulation can be delayed for a few days for all sorts of reasons, including stress, travel or illness, so it's not definitive and you can't work out now when you ovulated.

Secondly, pregnancy tests tend to work at 14 days after ovulation (dpo). Some women may be able to detect pregnancy at 10 dpo, if they use a very sensitive test (eg FRER, Clear Blue Early) - but even so, it's only a 50% detection rate for those tests. When you took your test, you'd have had to have ovulated around the 31 Aug/ 1 Sep for it to have been guy #2's, which means you'd have been around 9-10 dpo. It's unlikely the test would have come back positive so early, especially if it was a bog-standard test. If it was guy #1's, on the other hand, and you'd ovulated as expected, you'd have been around 15-16dpo.

So - balance of probabilities, I'd say #1. Outside chance #2.

Hope that helps, and that you get yourself sorted.

 

[Kittykins]

well, at least choklatemunky and I agree, even if she does manage to say it in half the time/words!

 

[choklatemunky]

well, at least choklatemunky and I agree, even if she does manage to say it in half the time/words!

 

[Loola]

#1!

(Do i win the prize for the shortest answer? )

Seriously though, yes, Id agree with Choklatemunkey and Kitty that it is more likely to be #1.

 

[xJuliex]

thanks ladies, wot a situation i'v got myself into eh!.. i used to watch people with stories like thiss on TV and think Oh my god how could they be so stupid. but i can't change what's happened now i just need to do whats best for my baby boy right! guy #1 is a useless piece of S**t(sorry) and won't be having anything to do with my baby anyways but for my babys sake i would like him to know who his father is. I'm still intouch with guy #2 and hoping to start a relationship with him after i'v had the baby as we both feel its not really right to get into anything serious while i'm pregnant. I think i'll get him to take a DNA test because if it shows he isn't the father then i will know guy #1 is the father without needing to have anything to do with him.

 

[choklatemunky]

no worries.
Its obviously just one of those things that happened....but look at what you have got out of it. You sound like you are being sensible about what is going on now and you have thought about what to do in the future with regard to tests etc.

It might come to it that you never need to take a test as no2 might just accept the child as his and not ever want a test.....it certainly sounds like he is still sticking around despite the uncertainty.

Good Luck with the rest of your pregnancy, I hope it goes well and even if things dont work out with no2 - you will have a beautiful baby boy to keep you going x

 

[mrs_tommo22]

Judging by what you have said based on your cycles you can safely say its number 1

 

[caz86]

id say no1 definate ..... use this fertility map to convince u if u like ....
www.askdramy.com/ovulationcalc.html