Who tells you what to do?

[nori]

Hi All,

Another quick question.. after baby is born, is it the health visitor who tells you what to do? ie when to bath the baby, how much to feed the baby when its on bottles, how to sterilise things? Because its my first im a little concerned i wont know what to do. I've never even change a nappy before and have no experience of looking after babies! If someone told me to make up a bunch of bottles id probably mess that up too!

I think im panicing a bit..

Claire x

 

[Sherlock]

Ummm my HV certainly didn't 'tell' me what to do. I only saw her once my MW signed me off after 10 days. MW came out the first few days then I went to her for LO to be weighed, all was well so passed over to HV.

HV will usually make one or two home visits then you can go see them weekly at a HV clinic usually at local centre or clinic. HV will tell you where. Home visits are informal and should be relaxed. She'll weigh baby and chat to you. Ask whatever you are unsure of.

They are there to ask things of for sure, but they don't have a list of things they stop and explain per se. They give you the latest Gov advice. They are not there to tell you to do something one way or the other.

FWIW there is no real need to bath baby for the first week or so. Top and tailing is fine You can do behind ears, neck folds, under arms, leg folds and so on. We didn't bath our LO till 10 days plus. The cord fell off after 3 days and we left that alone also as it was clean and fine. Once you are a bit more confident you can progress to a bath every now and again in plain water. You'll probably find once you start bathing your LO's skin will get flaky and peel a bit.

Sterilising should be explained in the kit somewhere. Its straightforward enough

Re formula - if you don't plan to breast feed I'd suggest having a chat to your MW and having a read of the packaging. There are guideline amounts per weight of baby etc but each baby is different so one might take more than another. Go with the flow. I'm sure she can help explain. Also your HV will be able to help advise if you need it.

I'd not make up too many bottles in advance. Advice these days is to prepare them with water but to add the formula when you actually need to give a feed. Not have X amount of bottles made up for 24 hours in advance.

Hope that helps

 

[JoAnn&Aimee]

First of all, don't panic! I was in the same boat as you. I hadn't even been in the same room as a baby before I had Aimee and I was so worried that I wouldn't be able to cope. Have a chat with your MW about your concerns, thats what I did and she was lovely about it. As for learning how to change nappies, bathing baby, making up feeds etc I learned that in the hospital after I had Aimee. There is always someone around to help so never be afraid to ask.

Sherlocks advice is better!

 

[Sylvie]

how much to feed the baby when its on bottles, how to sterilise things?

Hi I just want to add that you shouldn't expect much help from MW and HV when you decide to bottle-feed Everyone is ready to help if you're in trouble breast-feeding but if for some reason you decide to bottle-feed (whether it is a personal choice or a medical necessity as was the case for me after ten days of exclusive breast-feeding) no one will be so willing to give you any advice. Apart from reading the info on the packaging of formula I had to get some more info from the personnel at Boots and from the Cow & Gate consumer service (very efficient by the way). So yes you will always end up finding someone to help you but not necessarily useless HV.
Sorry to sound bitter about it but I'm still when I think of it.

 

[jennifer1981]

I was in the same boat as you. I did a lot of reading up before LO was born and anything i wasn't too sure about i would ask my midwife at the clinics before i had LO so i had the basics.

When i had Dylan the midwives in the hospital were a great help but to be honest everything seemed to just slot into place and come naturally.

 

[nori]

how much to feed the baby when its on bottles, how to sterilise things?

Hi I just want to add that you shouldn't expect much help from MW and HV when you decide to bottle-feed Everyone is ready to help if you're in trouble breast-feeding but if for some reason you decide to bottle-feed (whether it is a personal choice or a medical necessity as was the case for me after ten days of exclusive breast-feeding) no one will be so willing to give you any advice. Apart from reading the info on the packaging of formula I had to get some more info from the personnel at Boots and from the Cow & Gate consumer service (very efficient by the way). So yes you will always end up finding someone to help you but not necessarily useless HV.
Sorry to sound bitter about it but I'm still when I think of it.

Thats really sad.. im going to certainly try the breastfeeing first but if my crohns flares up and i end up taking more medication then i will have to turn to bottles. Sounds like you had a crap MW and HV. Im hoping they arent all like that!

 

[Tillytots]

Who tells you what to do?

the girls on PF

Seriously though, Id get a book from the library or something and just have a read up on babies. Most books have guides in on how to do things such as bathing, changing nappies etc It wont all come to you until you put it into practise anyway but at least you'll have a bit of an idea, it will make it less daunting. The hozzy should show you a few things, Im not sure what as I declined their help as I wanted to go home

Maybe if you have friends with babies ask them to show you and let you have a go at doing stuff

 

[Hazel]

I haven't even seen my hv yet so DH and I have figured it out between us. I think is HV came in now and started "telling" me what to do I wouldn't be happy about it. My mw is great and has helped a lot but we really have figured most of it out now and if I had a major concern I asked a question on here. Don't worry, I had never even held a baby before and I'm coping and absolutely loving being a mum .

 

[indie78]

As a school nurse who works closely with HVs I can safely say some are better than others! Luckily, the good ones do seem to outweigh the bad, and different personalities work better together. Im sure some families find me very annoying but think I have a good relationship with most of my families! If I lived in the area I worked some of the HVs would be quite bossy and not very approachable, others would be really supportive and lovely.
What i would say is most HV team have nursery nurses working with them who are good at giving one to one advice at home if there are aspects of baby care you are struggling with. You can also ask your HV to see a nursery nurse. Nowadays, HVs only really do the new birth visit- when they take over from MW- then you tend to go to baby clinics but dont worry about asking them about any aspects of baby care, thats what theyre there for.

I wish I lived where I used to work, the HV I worked with there is just the most lovely, kind lady and I would love to have her as my HV!

 

[Squiglet]

how much to feed the baby when its on bottles, how to sterilise things?

Hi I just want to add that you shouldn't expect much help from MW and HV when you decide to bottle-feed Everyone is ready to help if you're in trouble breast-feeding but if for some reason you decide to bottle-feed (whether it is a personal choice or a medical necessity as was the case for me after ten days of exclusive breast-feeding) no one will be so willing to give you any advice. Apart from reading the info on the packaging of formula I had to get some more info from the personnel at Boots and from the Cow & Gate consumer service (very efficient by the way). So yes you will always end up finding someone to help you but not necessarily useless HV.
Sorry to sound bitter about it but I'm still when I think of it.

Thats really sad.. im going to certainly try the breastfeeing first but if my crohns flares up and i end up taking more medication then i will have to turn to bottles. Sounds like you had a crap MW and HV. Im hoping they arent all like that!

I have Crohns and was on prednisone a few weeks back...: Told them I was breastfeeding and they still prescribed it at a low dose and they are usually over careful concerning giving meds here if you are bf'ding ... My other Crohn's meds they say were fine to take during pregnancy and bfing too... in most cases they will look at prescribing a med that isn't harmful before the dole out the heavier meds.

Tbh no one tells you how to look after a baby when you need advice but everyone is willing to jump on you with idiotic advice when you don't.. Doen't matter if you formula feed or breast feeding... help for new mums is always lacking... but at least formula comes with instructions written on the tin Reading and forums are your best source of information if you are worried... And of course on the job training... trust your insticts and do what you feel is right and ask for help when you need it.

 

[Xena]

Nobody showed (or told) me what to do when I had Lydia. Whilst I was in hospital I was helped with getting her to latch on for breastfeeding, but that's all. Everything else you sort of figure out as you go along.

Nappies are easy though. Slide it under the bum with tabs at the back, pull up the front, pull the tabs round, bobs your uncle

Bathing, well you just sort of hold the baby with one arm and wash with the other one. It's awkward washing little babies that can't sit up or support their own head I must admit. You just sort of have to get on with it and don't drop the baby lol.

If you're formula feeding it tells you what to do on the tin - how much to put in and so on. Sterilise your bottle first, then put in cooled boiled water, then the correct amount of formula, then shake

You'll figure it out, honestly you will. I had no experience with babies whatsoever either when I had my first, and I managed.

 

[nori]

Thanks everyone.. think im just panicing a bit.

Squiglet: I think the next option for me on the crohns front would be infliximab or methotrexate (i think they are a definate no for breastfeeding) as steroids dont tend to work and i cant go back on the azathioprine . Still..i'll cross that bridge if it comes to it!! Hope your health is ok hun.

Claire x

 

[Redshoes]

Most of it will come naturally, as time passes you will gain confidence, you will be fine, for when you aren't just come here, there's always someone around for advice and support, but health professional wise, you will have MW and HV' after your baby is born and until you feel happy, they won't just discharge you and leave you to it as it were, we all have to learn how to look after our babies so don't panic, you will be fine

 

[kelsey]

how much to feed the baby when its on bottles, how to sterilise things?

Hi I just want to add that you shouldn't expect much help from MW and HV when you decide to bottle-feed Everyone is ready to help if you're in trouble breast-feeding but if for some reason you decide to bottle-feed (whether it is a personal choice or a medical necessity as was the case for me after ten days of exclusive breast-feeding) no one will be so willing to give you any advice. Apart from reading the info on the packaging of formula I had to get some more info from the personnel at Boots and from the Cow & Gate consumer service (very efficient by the way). So yes you will always end up finding someone to help you but not necessarily useless HV.
Sorry to sound bitter about it but I'm still when I think of it.

Thats really sad.. im going to certainly try the breastfeeing first but if my crohns flares up and i end up taking more medication then i will have to turn to bottles. Sounds like you had a crap MW and HV. Im hoping they arent all like that!

Hi Claire, don't worry they're not all like that. When the baby comes you will do whats right for you. In the hospital I was at the mw's came around and offered to bath the baby (which i gladly took up every time ) You can always ask a hv or your mw too once your home. And don't forget here too, we're always glad to help

As for the help with bf and ff. I beg to differ sylvie. Hv are quick enough to say switch to a bottle for numerous amounts of reasons but the support you get when wanting to breastfeed is from my experience abismal(sp).

You only have to look at threads on here with people having difficulty with breastfeeding and they are most of the time given very little or no help at all and are being "advised" to top up or switch to formula. They wouldn't be on here asking for help/advise/support if they were given the right help in the first place.

 

[sparky]

i was in for two nights and they were only interested in helpin me with feeding, i kept asking to be shown a bath etc and kept getting told someone would but they never did!!

Me and DH felt like we'd stolen a baby when we left, we didnt feel like we had a clue, but within a couple of days of fubling through (and it taking two of us to do everything) we'd mastered it. Babies change all the time, just to throw you when you think you've got it sussed, but your confidence grows and you get to know your LO, then you feel happy to take everything on as it comes up.

Do you have family nearby? we dont and i think it helped us enourmously as we just had to get on with it ourselves, nothing like being thrown in at the deep end! we didnt develop a dependancy of asking others, but worked it out ourselves.

This sounds silly but every day you get through it gets slightly easier, albeit you have the odd one when you feel like its all going pete tong, but you get through them.

 

[Daffodil]

I had Meadow at home and I remember now...with a smile...that everyone had left us for the night and we were upstairs - and Meadow was in her moses basket. She woke up and I said "I think we're supposed to change her nappy" LOL

OH changed the nappy and was ALL fingers and thumbs. Then next time when I changed it I managed to get poo all over my hands Now I can change a nappy at 3am in the dark in about 20 seconds LOL

I would advise looking up things about formula. I have had tons of breastfeeding problems and have had to give formula and realised I didn't know what I was doing.

I asked the midwife lots of questions when she visited each day and she was happy to answer them.

Another wierd moment was when we had her a few days all she had done was sleep or eat and then one day she decided to be awake and she was full, she was changed, and she was awake and I was like "what do I do with her now?" lol
I figured it out fortunately.
Dawn
x

 

[Magic Monkey]

I had Ella in the maternity hospital where they helped me with breast feeding and actually changed the first few nappies for me as I couldn't get out of bed still the next morning! They offered to show us how to bath her, but we wanted to leave and it was cold outside so we waited until we got to the birth centre. The following morning one of the assistants at the birth centre showed us how to bath her before we left (we asked her to). We bathed Ella a couple of times a week to begin with.

Nappies: Get everything ready before you start and the nappy open and ready to put on (they are very good at weeing as you swap the nappies!). Wipe with cotton wool and water (front to back for girls) then take one off and quickly put the new one on as Xena said.

Formula feeding: Feed on demand, we started at 3 days and I think we started offering 3 oz bottles whenever she was hungry, once they drain a bottle a few times, add another ounce and continue like that. Sterilisers should have instructions (we have a microwave one which is great), the best way to make bottles is to add cooled boiled water to them and leave them on the side, then add the scoops of formula when needed. The packet won't say this as guidance is to make every bottle from scratch, but IMO this is impossoble with a newborn who is unpredictable with feeding times. My MW said it was fine to make them like this though.

I was offered advice on bottle feeding by the MW who visited the day we started. I was visited almost every day for the 10 days after the birth, then the HV did the initial visit and since then we have gone to the clinic for weighing/advice etc.

 

[Vicki83]

I was told in hospital just after having Sophie tht someone would come and show m how to bathe her, change her ets before I would be allowed to leave - still bloody waiting!

B ut don't worry it'll all come naturally - honest!!