where do i start

[hennaly]

i was just starting to get excited about having this baby when im now thinking i have made a big mistake.
My mother in law has given me a list of names that are and are not acceptable, i have been told it HAS to be christened (over my dead body ) and it will be going to private school (not), the problem is my other children are from my first marraige but this one is with my new husband whos family are extremely wealthy (we are skint!!)
This is our baby and im getting very annoyed at the idea of being told what i can and cant do, my husband supports me and has agreed with me all the way but how do i tell her to butt out without causing a family riot?

 

[claire2711]

that is totally out of order for her to be saying that its you and ur OH's baby, not hers! id either try and sit her down and both of you put it in a nice way, or see if your OH will hint to her. she has no right to be putting you in this position, its your baby and you guys should be allowed to make your own decisions!

this would really annoy me tbh i'd probably have stopped her mid-flow and told her where to go x x x x

 

[ShineyHappyPeople]

My mother in law has given me a list of names that are and are not acceptable, i have been told it HAS to be christened (over my dead body ) and it will be going to private school (not), the problem is my other children are from my first marraige but this one is with my new husband whos family are extremely wealthy (we are skint!!)

I would be saying umm excuse me, we haven't ruled any names out yet. We wre thinking of sending them to bla bla school and we don't believe in christening - The cheek of your MIL is surprising!!

 

[MagicMarkers]

Tell her to piss off !!! Tell her the other names are unacceptable as they dont go with your kids names, or just that you dont like them, if your husband agrees then he can tell her for you !!!
Tell her the school youve sent yours to is more than adequate and if she wants to help she can spend the private school fees on university fees later on, and that you dont believe in christening, she sounds like anightamre but dont let her ruin this for you !! Your baby your rules hun, so long as you and your hubby are happy with the choices you make she'll just have to get used to it !!!!

 

[Babylicious]

its hard when inlaws are like that as you try to keep the peace, just say we've picked names thanks etc

 

[ShineyHappyPeople]

Yeah I agree with babylicious. You never know when you might need help so its best to keep things good between all of you but at the same time, you and your bhubby will need to sit them down and talk about it. Once you sort it out, they will be careful about what they say to you in future about these things. Overall, its good for both parties. They know where they stand and you don't have to avoid her at all costs when she comes over

 

[fran_23]

i agree with what all the other girls said- its your an your partners baby
no one has the right to tell you what choices to make!
stick to your guns at least your OH has your back!

damn inlaws, OH's mum wanted us to christen him and send him
to catholic school- i said get lost i'm not religious and i'm not forcing
it on my son!

 

[ShineyHappyPeople]

I think its important to remember that shes just wanting the best for him even though it comes across as controlling and bossy but in the end she wants her grandson to do well. Kep that in mind before you talk to them Might keep things more calm.

 

[ShineyHappyPeople]

damn inlaws, OH's mum wanted us to christen him and send him
to catholic school- i said get lost i'm not religious and i'm not forcing
it on my son!

(SIDENOTE / OFF THE TOPIC
This is what I don't get. If the parents are not religious - why do they want the child christened? Nothing miraculous happens at a christening. All that happens is that the parents are making a statement claiming that they will bring up the child according to the catholic faith and it will somehow cleanse the child - Why would you want someone to take this "oath" if the parents are clearly are not religious.)

 

[evemarie8]

My MIL can be really bossy too and so can my own Mom, I just smile, nod and do whatever I feel like anyway, they really have no power over you at the end of the day and don't be too scared of a confrontation, sometimes it's the best way to get things out in the open! I have had a few with MIL and now we are much closer than before!

 

[hennaly]

thanks everyone
the reason behind her wanting it christned is it has to be to get into any private school apparently but i am anti religion im afraid and it is really winding me up, none of mine have been christened and its up to them what religion they become when they are old enough to decide.
I am going to find ut the sex of the baby and choose a name and not tell her what it will be till it is born an registered.
I dont want to disclude her as i know she isnt being nasty she just cant help herself and has always had her own way.

I guess i will just have to agree as has been said but do my own thing anyway.
Just onemore thing, am i right in assuming she couldnt go and have it christened behind my back