When to try again?

[Egbs1175]

We have just had our second loss, first at 7 weeks and next at 10w4. I have found the second one much harder to deal with due to both how tough it was physically this time but also due to how disappointed we were to get so close to the 12 weeks?

Due to my age (38) the epu have referred us for specialist testing rather than having to wait for 3 mc to be classed as recurring. However, the tests are 8 weeks after mc meaning we need to wait 8 weeks before ttc again. I am desperate to get pregnant again and hopefully have a positive outcome this time particularly when evidence suggests higher fertility immediately after mc.

I'm am just so torn between trying again and having an undiagosed problem that causes us to mc again and the impatience of having to wait. I probably seems ridiculous as I know logically 8 weeks isn't long but I just don't want to waste time and I only know I will be able to feel better by getting pg again. I know the ladies on here who have suffered losses will understand.

 

[laurat]

Im really sorey for your losses! 8 wewks can seem like an eternity when all you want is a healthy bean. Take time to grieve your loss and I think you need to do what you want to do honey! If thats ttc then I think its your choice to make!

 

[Egbs1175]

Thanks. I know for most people 8 weeks would seem like no time at all but I feel like I am in limbo. Going to try and use the 8 weeks as positively as possible and eat healthily and do lots of exercise to get myself in the best place possible.

 

[Lou1103]

Hey, sorry for your losses hun.

Im pleased they're referring you for testing straightaway. 8 weeks seems like an eternity in ttc terms. it might do you good to take some time to heal mentally and physically.
The right time will be when you're ready to try again.

From what i've been told there would be 'no reason' after 2 mcs for it to happen again but if you do, you need to be prepared for what might happen . Not meaning to be negative but that mindset makes me think it's worth waiting the 8 weeks.

Good luck xxx

 

[Egbs1175]

Lou, everything you have said in your post is what I think when I am being reasonable. But when I am struggling emotionally I start panicking and thinking I really don't want to wait as I don't have the time to lose. I am trying to focus on other things, have signed up for a half marathon and booked a couple of weekends away to keep me occupied over the next 8 weeks.

 

[Lou1103]

I know what you mean. It's frustrating because you keep thinking you could conceive in those 8 weeks.. Apparently you're more fertile for 6 months post mc.

Could you try not trying not preventing? When we had to have a break that's what we did and i found it to be the best of both worlds, not doing opks or worrying but still sort of trying, it took a lot of stress off.

I think the best thing to do is what you're doing, trying to break up the time. You don't have to decide straightaway, everything is still so raw so you don't need the extra stress. Plus if you do decide to wait, you can always change your mind xxx

 

[Missybee]

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss and can only imagine the grief. You're not too old. I know a lot of ladies who conceived and had healthy babies age 40 +. My own mother had my brother when she was 40. I would recommend waiting and resolving any potential health issues that may be getting in the way first so you don't put your body through the ordeal again and have to wait even longer. It is usually recommended that women who mc wait at least 12 weeks for the body to fully recover in order to regain optimum reproductive health to increase success, anyway. I know it's painful and another pregnancy seems like the only remedy - but increasing the odds for one that you're going to carry full term should be priority in my honest opinion.

 

[Egbs1175]

Thanks for the advice and support. We are just taking it a day at a time at the moment.