When does the jealousy stop?

[Simoneh00]

A few people I know have had babies within the past few weeks and I feel like such an arsehole but I'm totally jealous. Every time they post pics I'm just overwhelmed with jealousy and thinking why didn't I deserve that? Why didn't I deserve newborn cuddles and snuggles and the smells and feelings!
I really don't want to feel like this.
How long did it take you to stop feeling like this?

Tapatalking excuse any typos!
Mummy of two, Angel mummy of one and WTT baby number 4

 

[hellywelly]

I don't think it's called true jealousy Simone, as you aren't wishing what they've got away, you just want the same as well. I'd call it part of the grieving process, not jealousy in a nasty selfish way. You were robbed of something precious and healing takes time. xxx

 

[Simoneh00]

Oh no I would never wish their babies away. I'm so happy they have healthy babies!
I just feel awful xx

Tapatalking excuse any typos!
Mummy of two, Angel mummy of one and WTT baby number 4

 

[hellywelly]

I know you would never wish that, that's why I think you are being hard on yourself. It seems completely ridiculous you didn't get chance to have the same. Thank you so much for posting like a journal in the other thread. I feel privileged to have been able to read it. x

 

[PurplePixi]

I know it's nowhere near what you have been through Simone I had a miscarriage at 8 weeks and feel so jealous every time someone anounces their pregnant which seems like every day at the moment. I feel terribly guilty but hopefully it will pass. It's completely understandable how your feeling, hope it's not getting you down too much. Take care xxxx

 

[Simoneh00]

It feels like everyone's pregnant or just given birth doesn't it!!!! Ridiculous!

Tapatalking excuse any typos!
Mummy of two, Angel mummy of one and WTT baby number 4

 

[Simoneh00]

I know you would never wish that, that's why I think you are being hard on yourself. It seems completely ridiculous you didn't get chance to have the same. Thank you so much for posting like a journal in the other thread. I feel privileged to have been able to read it. x

Thank you for reading it'd I just had to get it all out and it was so much easier to type than say xx

Tapatalking excuse any typos!
Mummy of two, Angel mummy of one and WTT baby number 4

 

[vicci77]

its not hun i feel the same way some days i lost my little bean on the 27th oct and found out about a week later my friend is due when i would of been my sister in law has a 13wk old and some of my friends r due just after xmas i just wish i still was but i can start trying again after ive had 3 monthly (tmi sorry) xx

 

[stephttc]

I have just read your first thread and I am so sorry for your loss! You are a very brave lady!

I know mine doesn't even get close to what you must be feeling but I do have the same feelings as you! It's like a really low down sickly feeling when I hear the next pregnancy announcement! I've ha to delete Facebook because I got sick of seeing scan pictures on it! Especially when I got a text from a friend during my mc with a scan pic on and I just thought at least I can delete the text but when it's on fb there is no escape!

I don't think you should feel guilty for how you feel because you are not wishing bad on anybody but can totally relate to the envy you feel xxx

 

[kellyD]

Your only human. Its really hard when everyone around u is getting pregant. After losing my 3rd this year 3 girls i work with have all had babies and one of my best friends is pregnant now she is due the same month i would have been. I don't know if im jealous or envious but i just wish i was them x

 

[lizsamuel80]

I still get jealous. It's been 9 months since my second MC and I still feel sad when I see a pregnant lady even though I'm finally one of the lucky ones. I have a friend who is due a week before I am currently and I look at her and think I should have had my baby long before her. What's with that???????

Anyway after my second MC I deleted all my friends on facebook that I just had on for the hell of it. It hurt too much to see the scan pics etc and the announcements that I didn't need to know about. One person I deleted was quite close too but she had her baby a few days before my first angel was due. I struggled with that because she has been through hell she lost a baby to SIDS and another to chromosomal disorders at about 24 weeks. But I couldn't watch her baby grow up the way mine should have.

Sometimes I lay in bed and look at my current big belly and think it should be flat again and how awful I am for ever trying to replace the ones I lost with this one. But I still love this baby so much too and I worry about everything. I'm just a plain mess really. I had a friend say she felt the same when she was preg after a few MCs and she wondered the whole pregnancy if she would ever love this child as much as she did her oldest child. She said from the moment he was born she became VERY possessive of him and just wanted to lock herself and him away in a room by themselves. For the first few weeks she would get angry at her daughter for touching the new baby. It faded after a while but she said she thinks it was because she didn't want to bond much before he was born because she was so scared of loosing it again. I'm hoping the same thing to a lesser extreme will happen to me.

 

[jojo3972]

Simone it's just natural ur going to feel like this bless ya I can't imagine what it's like so I won't pretend to, I've had cs as u know and I'm a changed woman for the worse I'm Jelous all the time of my friends and all I want is to have my bump and be all excited ready to give birth but instead I'm here ttc again and I'm sick of it my due date is next Saturday i just want it over with so I can Finaly move on and not have dates lingering in my head and hopefully the jealousy won't be as bad but we are only human after all (((((hugs)))))) I think ur doing amazingly xxxx

 

[mishi]

Honey, it's only natural to feel this way.
It's been 9 1/2 months since I said goodbye to my little blue bundle and as much as I am happy for people who are pregnant and having their babies, I can't help but feel envious that it isn't me. Im thrilled for them, but sad that it isn't me. What you have been through is so much worse honey and I'd be shocked if you didn't feel this way tbh.
Don't feel guilty for feeling the way you do.xxx

 

[ChloeSmith]

My sister had her baby the day I had my erpc and I'm really hoping that one day I'll be able to disassociate the two. She lives far away and I've only met her little girl once, but it slightly breaks my heart every time I see pictures/Facebook updates etc. I feel like such a bad person

 

[Andreabrad]

What you have been through is unimaginable and to be honest I think you have been so strong. It's not jealousy it's normal to feel like this. It's awful I know. I used to be so jealous of every baby bump I saw. It does get easier though.

Hope your doing ok. Keep smiling xxx

 

[Hope81]

I am afraid it will take time, long long time and its normal to be like that.
I know you are thinking of TTC again, channel those feelings towards TTC, make plans, make lists and start working towards things that you need to be better while you TTC again.
I can't really word it ok in English for you to understand what I mean and I am sorry if my response sounds a little "cold".
Actively Working towards a goal it will make you feel that you will experience the same feelings that your friends have at some point and it will help you focus more of what's to come instead of what you lost, getting the "jealousy" away.

Ofc you will never forget Luna and you will grieve probably your whole life but the pain will get easier.

Last year I got a BFP. It was completely unexpected as we use always condoms but probably a condom was faulty.
That BFP ended in a mc. I never planned TTC that year but the lost of my baby made me unreliable jealous on everyone's else baby. I had the same questions as you and while my baby's die date was approaching fast the pain was so unbelievable that I TTC again...
Once I started TTC the pain went mostly away. I was thinking more of what to come rather of what I lost.
So I started dieting, bicycling, fixing the nursery, renovating the house etc.
For me those dark feelings were part of the evolutionary progress. I would have never TTC again after my mc if I wasn't pushed by those same feelings as you.

You will hold Luna's sister or brother one day in your arms and next time everything will go perfect because she is looking upon you and taking care of you.

 

[Lozzaste]

Hi, my two losses were much earlier than your beautiful Luna, and I feel silly for even typing this compared to your loss, other than to say I think it's entirely normal to feel as you do. I have two due dates to contend with and to be honest, I'm dreading both. I lost my first at 11 weeks on June 5th and the second on November 5th, both this year. The second miscarriage began on the day of my 12 week scan. The first due date is Christmas Eve, the second is May 24th. I have purposely booked flights to the US on Christmas Eve (with a one year old - wish me luck!) so I won't have a chance to think about it.
Like other girls on the thread, I've not looked much at Facebook because there are people who announced their pregnancies at the exact same time as my losses. It hurts a lot to see, I "should" be where they are now. But I'm not. There is nothing I could have done to change it though, so I have to just "get on with it"
Your tattoo is beautiful. I'm thinking of having two little footprints down by my c-section scar to honour my little ones. They are still my children. We are Christening my one year old at Christmas in the US, just family and I have asked that the priest mentions the two who aren't here. I'm not even religious but they will never be forgotten x
Sending you hugs Simone, I hope you are doing ok xxxxxxxx