What if my body doesn't do it?

[love87]

So 10+4 today but had some light pink bleeding the day before yesterday. Went to EPU this morning and scan confirmed that baby stopped developing around 6 weeks. Heartbroken is an understatement. They have sent me home to come back next week week for a repeat scan. But I have never been through this, so I'm wondering, what if my body does not miscarry itself? What happens then? When the doctor came in I was just in a fog of grief and forgot to ask any questions. Is it likely my body will do it seeing as baby stopped growing 5 weeks ago and I had no idea except a little bit of pink spotting? Any advise would be very greatly appreciated. Thanks.

 

[xMillie]

*hugs* so sorry to hear xx

I've only just been/going through this myself and I was only just 6 weeks. As far as I know everything has passed without any help but I've been advised to test in 2 weeks to make sure I no longer have any hcg left in my system.

For me it started with pink spotting then red spotting came just a few days later which then became very light bleeding. Of course everyone is different though.

I'm not sure what the next step is if it's needed but I'm sure someone else here will be able to answer.
It is heartbreaking I know. Try to take care of yourself xx

 

[love87]

Millie thank you for your reply. The spotting has completely stopped but I am getting mild cramps. I really want to naturally miscarry as I do not want to have to go through a D&C.
I am so sorry for your loss. Hope you are keeping well. xxx

 

[xMillie]

Totally understand that, its a horrible time and nothing worse than being poked and prodded, really hoping everything works out for you

thank you xx

 

[Pinkz]

Sorry! I've just been through this too at 6 weeks.

What I've learnt in this horrible time is there literally is no right or wrong way. I felt the same about d&c.

I've spoken with Millie a bit about this and my experience seems to have been different in that I have to keep going back to get hcg levels checked. Hopefully the cramps are a good sign! Have they done any blood tests yet to check your hcg? The 2nd scan may be to check you aren't retaining anything.

It's a horrible time. I hope you find some comfort knowing you aren't alone in this! Just try to be kind to yourself and take each day as it comes!

 

[love87]

Thank you hun. I'm so sorry for your loss. Looks like I spoke too soon . Just been to the loo and it looks like it's started. Lots of red/brown blood. I really want to thank you all from the bottom of my heart. This place has been a rock for me today. Think hubby is suffering too as he has been quiet all day. Think he needs some TLC too. May I ask how long bleeding lasts? Should I expect lots of pain? I'm going into this blind and terrified. X

 

[xMillie]

I think it really varies.

For me I've not had much bleeding at all, like a very light period, less than a pads worth a day (but I changed it regularly, obviously). I had red for around 6 days with some spotting before and after. I've had nothing today. I only had cramping on one of the days which was painful, no worse than period cramps though and painkillers did work for me.

Take care of each other, lots of hugs, it is hard xx

 

[Pinkz]

I had bad cramp one day but nothing terrible. Just like water bottle and lie down for a few hours type pain. Red when wiping for maybe 3 or 4 days but the crampy day I had heavyish bleeding. I had quite an intense cramp when I passed some lining. They said it was the baby but they sent for testing and it came back as lining. That wasn't pleasant but I've not been in agony.

Bleeding lasted a week but then it's been back again this week. Very light now though.

Millie is right though. It does really vary. I think you have to watch how quick you are filling pads too.. think it's having to change more than every 2 hours? They will just give you some pills usually if this happens so don't worry. Have you got a contact number for your EPU?

being here has really helped me too. It's easy for people to tell you "it happens to lots of people" but when you actually speak to people who are going through the same as you right now I think that REALLY helps.

 

[candymycandy]

Really sorry to read this love87. It seems like you're miscarrying naturally so hopefully won't need anything else (there's also a pill available). Hate telling you this but my MMC wasn't pleasant in terms of pain, I basically had to labour, I was a little further along than you though so fx you won't suffer too badly and just get cramps etc. Keep yourself dosed up on paracetamol, get a hot water bottle and maybe a bath if you feel that would help. Bleeding does vary but for me it was about 10 days. Look after each other and get lots of TLC. So sorry again xxx

 

[love87]

Thank you ladies. Bleeding is light but hasn't stopped (the spotting was intermittent) and it has turned red, no longer pink. Painwise I'm doing OK, some mild cramping but have not passed anything yet so I would say the worst is yet to come. I cannot thank you all enough, I feel so blind in this. Also crying on and off today, all day. Cannot stop thinking of what might have beenough but my 2 DD's are keeping me going along with OH. I may sound naive but I never realised how hard it would be emotionally. I knew it was hard but when you personally go through it you realize how awful it is and you have so many unanswered questions. Honestly, I admire you all. You ladies are amazing and thank you so much for your help and kind words today. Xx

 

[Pinkz]

Just remember some of what you are feeling is the hormones! I had all sorts of horrible thoughts but I had to realise it's like someone set a hormone bomb off inside me.

I keep getting sad pangs of what might have been. We haven't got any children yet so it's just hard at the moment trying to convince myself it will be ok.

The amount of people from the tiny group of friends and family who I've told and they've said "it's happened to me" though... It really shocked me. It does normalize it a bit and make you realise it's ok.

Hope you get through it quickly and painlessly!

 

[kanga86]

Oh love87 I am so sorry to read this I had a mmc as my first pregnancy, although my experience was far from pleasant. Found out at 11wks baby had stopped around 5.5wks and just an empty sac seen so had a repeat scan the week after. They then saw a yolksac so couldn't offer any management due to growth although not enough. I miscarried 3 days after the second scan and I had some pretty awful cramps and heavy bleeding but only when sat on the loo, it came out in gushes. This happened overnight, at my repeat scan they saw a bit of retained products so I was monitored. Unfortunately I kept bleeding on and off for 2 months and my hcg was stuck at 22 (so pretty low) but my body just couldn't get rid of the rest so I had to beg to have an erpc at nearly 9 weeks after my 1st scan as I just couldn't cope with it anymore, it was the worst limbo of my life which I then bled for a further 12 days and af came 16 days later. Fortunately I did fall pregnant with Harry after that first cycle.

I hope you don't suffer too much and take care of yourself and hubby, it is something I wish nobody had to go through but take the time to grief as it is perfectly normal too. Thinking of you big hugs xxx

 

[love87]

It really helps to know others have been through the same. You have all been through so much. Emotionally, I feel a lot better today. I'm still bleeding but it's light Red/brown colour. Mainly when wiping but a little on pad. Have some light cramping but have not "passed" anything yet. Is it selfish to feel that I just want it over with? So I can get back to normal. Kanga- that must have been an awful experience. I'm sure it will stay with you forever. Xx

 

[kanga86]

Definitely not selfish for wanting it over with, it is a constant reminder of what is happening and it hurts so much. I was so so grateful when I was finally back to normal and didn't have this black cloud overhanging me and when most people don't know it is so hard to carry on as normal. Big hugs xxxx

 

[MrsS15]

I'm so sorry to read this love. I don't want to say I was 'lucky' as that sounds like the wrong words in these circumstances but both my losses happened naturally and I didn't need any help. The fact you're having some bleeding sounds positive that your body is starting to do things on its own. It's not selfish at all to want things over with quickly, it's such a terrible time and we're only human for wanting to get by it and piece ourselves back together. I hope you're as okay as can be, sending huge hugs xxx

 

[love87]

Thanks ladies. Doing my best to carry on as normal today. Did the shopping and spent hours playing with my girls. Going to try and relax and hope it is over with soon. The bleeding is stopping and starting and every time I pop to the loo I'm willing my body to do what it needs to do! The thoughts of a D&C is terrifying me. I do not want to go under general anestetic. I have 5 days before I have to go back for follow up so I'm praying my body does it so I don't have to go through any more trauma. Xxx

 

[Pinkz]

It's not selfish. I was all for having whatever pills they give people to have an abortion. I had planned out going to the 121 centre and asking for it... I have been THAT scared of a d&c. I had 2 operations a few years ago unrelated to pregnancy and the first one went wrong (hence the 2nd one) so the thought of it has had me bad!

Just trust your body. Theres nothing you can do other than sit tight till you have to go back to hospital. I'm there on Monday praying for a negative test! Best of luck

 

[love87]

Thanks pinkz. Keep me updated on Monday. Finger, toes and knees crossed for you. Xx

 

[love87]

Well it's 5.30 in the morning and tonight I started getting contraction like cramps and passing some large clots when I sit on the toilet to pee. I am currently sitting in my kitchen sobbing my heart out. The pain is quite bad still, the bleeding has picked up, I'm heartbroken and traumatised all at the send time. Nothing prepares you physically and emotionally for this. I'm really hoping this passes soon! The pain is unbelievable.

 

[Pinkz]

It's horrible I know. Just try and focus on how much you are bleeding. If it's too much get on to the EPU. Clots shouldnt be bigger than 50p they told me so just try and monitor yourself. Emotionally try to remember some of what you are feeling is just the hormones.

Above all, everything is going to be ok. It's a horrible time but it's a blip in your life. Wish I could send you some strength today!
I felt so terribly alone, even though I had my family and my husband. It's such a lonely feeling. It just makes me so sad to see how many people are going through this at the same time. It's so unfair.