What does your man do???

[Vickyleigh]

I just wondered what your OH/Hubbys do to help around the house now your in the late stages of pregnancy or what did they do when you were at my stage?
The reason I ask is because I think my boyfriend should be doing more to help me now I'm 6 months pregnant.
I'll give him credit where it's due he does work hard all day but when it comes to being at home he's the opposite!
I'll quite happily do my housewifey duties but he's such a messy sod!!! I'll clean up and he'll come home from work and mess it straght back up again. There is a MASSIVE pile of his clothes on the floor but I am refusing to pick up after him so if he leaves his clothes laying around anywhere then i'll just pick them up and chuck them on the pile (all my clothes are neatly put away might I just add!)
He very very rarely does the washing up and if I don't have the energy to cook dinner then we would go without because he wouldn't do it and I'm pregnant I can't afford to be skipping meals! I wash all the clothes, do the shopping, infact i'm on income support and it's me who pays for all the food! The only thing he does for me is go to the shops if my chocolate supply is low and he does make cups of tea but that's about it.
Normally I wouldn't mind because he works, I don't so I'll happily do it all but I should be taking it easier now and he should be helping me more and not leave everything to me. It's really really stressing me out and it feels like he is treating me like a slave and loving every minute of it!!
Should he be doing more to help me or am I just being a moany moo?

 

[Sherry]

My hubby works a week of days and a week of nights and every weekend too. When he can, he will cook and wash dishes ( most of the time I was them again ). I dont trust him with washing clothes as they would all end up dingey .

I admit he is a messy bugger but when I feel too tired he packs me off to bed, cooks dinner, tidies up. I know he is house trained but i think they all get used to having it readily done for them to mess up once again. Pregnant or not I will always moan about his untidiness .

 

[Nicola]

Basically he'd so anything I'd ask him to and usually offers to help. This morning he got the hoover out and done the whole house while I was in the shower. He does work a really heavy going full time job too but is always willing to get up and do things without my asking. I know, I'm very lucky indeed.

 

[mayday]

I'm the messy one in our house so OH picks up after me when he is around. He's currently working away from home so can't do any house work. When he is back he works on the house we are renovating as it currently has no roof on . Yesterday he supervised the installation of our sewage system, kept me company for a while while I judged at a horse show, and made me his speciality home-made pizza for dinner - yum! This morning I made him breakfast in bed and then we bought some reclaimed oak beams, discovered that ground water pressure had popped the sewage tank out of the ground and tried to decide what to do about that, and then he repaired the roof of my chicken house for me. We have bigger things to worry about than who cleans the dirty pants on the floor

If your OH is working and you are not it is not fair to expect him to do everything. I am not saying you should do it all but you should come to some agreement that you cannot do the amount of housework you used to and come to a compromise. Get Tesco to deliver your groceries, it only costs a fiver more and you'll get the groceries you need rather than a trolley full of impulse buys and save your fiver that way. Lower your house cleanliness standards. Explain to him that your feet hurt when you stand up and he can help this by either doing the washing for you if you cooked dinner or if you do the washing up then you would like a foot massage in return. There are lots of areas where you can both compromise.

 

[Vickyleigh]

Awww you really are lucky! That's how I want him to be but I have told him it wont be forever just while i'm pregnant. I don't want to have to ask him or should I say nag and moan at him to do something, he should just be able to do it on his own free will.
The other day I made a cup of tea and I went to put it next to him on the floor but I was really struggling to bend down and do you know what he did? He just sat there, stared at me and watched me struggle!!

He's just a typical man thats all he is!

 

[Vickyleigh]

If your OH is working and you are not it is not fair to expect him to do everything. I am not saying you should do it all but you should come to some agreement that you cannot do the amount of housework you used to and come to a compromise. Get Tesco to deliver your groceries, it only costs a fiver more and you'll get the groceries you need rather than a trolley full of impulse buys and save your fiver that way. Lower your house cleanliness standards.

Firstly I did say that I don't expect him to do everything, I just want him to help out more as he does NOTHING and when I say nothing I really mean nothing!!!
My cleanliness standards arent higher then anyone else's. I don't have some sort of OCD but I do like things to be clean, I have asthma so I don't like dirt and dust plus being 6 months pregnant I don't want to be tripping over mess every where I go.

 

[*saulino*]

Hi

I am like you and am the one who cleans the house Bernie works all week so i dont expect him to do anything, but somtimes it would be nice to wake up and have a clean house instead of it looking like a tornato hit afetra n hour of him and Kiara waking
Once in a while he will vacuum or do a few dishes but not often but personally i like doing it myself he doesnt seem to do it proper.
The one things that bugs me are simple things he can pick up of his so i didnt have to bend and get it.
I think its hard for guys to adjust to a change when they are used to somthing.
Katrinaxx

 

[Snuggle]

I think I must have the best hubby in the world We both work full-time but my hours are less per day than his. He has to travel an hour each way to go to work every day too but he still does his share of chores
I cook and hubby washes up. I make the lunches for work, hubby does ironing. We both do the washing, hoovering, general cleaning as required but hubby cuts the lawn so I guess in a way he does a little more than I do He told me off yesterday for hoovering the stairs because he doesnt think I should be carrying the hoover...bless!

 

[FeeFee]

My hubby works shifts so is often up at 3 in the morning for work but it means hes home about 3 in the afternoon, he'll pick up DD from school and walk our dogs or if hes on a late he will get up and take her in the mornings, we kinda share the shift of the school runs this way,
With regards to the house work depends on how i'm feeling, if i've had a super rough night he tells me off for getting out of bed and wont let me lift a finger, if i'm having a good day he'll let me get on with it till i say enough is enough then he takes over,
He's VERY good at not moaning and is deeply understanding how hard it is being pregnant when you have other medical problems too.
I couldn't want for a better man

I just wish his level of clean was the same as mine

 

[topbird]

I think I must have the best hubby in the world We both work full-time but my hours are less per day than his. He has to travel an hour each way to go to work every day too but he still does his share of chores
I cook and hubby washes up. I make the lunches for work, hubby does ironing. We both do the washing, hoovering, general cleaning as required but hubby cuts the lawn so I guess in a way he does a little more than I do He told me off yesterday for hoovering the stairs because he doesnt think I should be carrying the hoover...bless!

I have one of these too....
We split everything 50/50 and usually take it turns to do the ironing etc... He is doing more of the physical stuff now - cutting the grass, hoovering etc.. (as well as redecorating 1/2 the house!). I cook, he clears up, or vice versa. Didn't realise how lucky I am!

 

[budge]

I just wondered what your OH/Hubbys do to help around the house now your in the late stages of pregnancy or what did they do when you were at my stage?
The reason I ask is because I think my boyfriend should be doing more to help me now I'm 6 months pregnant.
I'll give him credit where it's due he does work hard all day but when it comes to being at home he's the opposite!
I'll quite happily do my housewifey duties but he's such a messy sod!!! I'll clean up and he'll come home from work and mess it straght back up again. There is a MASSIVE pile of his clothes on the floor but I am refusing to pick up after him so if he leaves his clothes laying around anywhere then i'll just pick them up and chuck them on the pile (all my clothes are neatly put away might I just add!)
He very very rarely does the washing up and if I don't have the energy to cook dinner then we would go without because he wouldn't do it and I'm pregnant I can't afford to be skipping meals! I wash all the clothes, do the shopping, infact i'm on income support and it's me who pays for all the food! The only thing he does for me is go to the shops if my chocolate supply is low and he does make cups of tea but that's about it.
Normally I wouldn't mind because he works, I don't so I'll happily do it all but I should be taking it easier now and he should be helping me more and not leave everything to me. It's really really stressing me out and it feels like he is treating me like a slave and loving every minute of it!!
Should he be doing more to help me or am I just being a moany moo?

me and hubby have vert traditional roles. we both like it that way and are happy with it. He goes out to wrk and earns the money and does manly things around the house and i stay home taking care of the kids and cooking meals and doing the housework etc.
He does anything i ask him to do though and when i am pregnant he will help out with the kids etc.

 

[Barmi_Brummeh]

My OH dont work but does nearly everythin for me lol tells me to rest! x

 

[mayday]

Dear me Vickyleigh! you asked for people's opinion, but seemed to get rather defensive that my opinion didn't tie in with what you want to hear. I was trying to make some suggestions as to how you could both make life a little easier for each other in the next couple of months, but you seem to want to hear 'my man does all the housework after a full day at work and realises I just need to sit down with my feet up all day.' Have you asked him if he is very tired when he comes in from work? I have no idea what he does for a living - all I know is my OH has days when really he should be doing his share of the housework, and days when he falls into bed straight away exhausted. If he is not tired when he comes in make him a cup of tea and then give him a few little jobs to do. Ironing is great for men because they can do it while watching sport - my OH irons slower than anyone I have ever seen, but since test match cricket games last 5 days he gets it all done eventually . If he really does nothing at all and has always been like that it is going to be very difficult to change him now, but possibly you should have had a bit of an inkling he would be like this?

No need to get so defensive if you ask a question and don't like the answer.

 

[Vickyleigh]

I think I must have the best hubby in the world We both work full-time but my hours are less per day than his. He has to travel an hour each way to go to work every day too but he still does his share of chores
I cook and hubby washes up. I make the lunches for work, hubby does ironing. We both do the washing, hoovering, general cleaning as required but hubby cuts the lawn so I guess in a way he does a little more than I do He told me off yesterday for hoovering the stairs because he doesnt think I should be carrying the hoover...bless!

That's how I think it should be, you both share the housework.
Ooh I did forget to mention that he does take the bins out every wednesday night for the bin men.

 

[Xena]

My husband does bugger all around the house.

Lets see.....he carries Lydia up and down stairs when he's here.....well most of the time anyway. Oh and he sometimes changes the odd nappy.

Other than that? Nothing.
He doesn't wash up - not even his own plate or whatever.
He doesn't do the laundry in any way, shape, or form.
He doesn't tidy up.
He doesn't even put rubbish in the bin - he just leaves things like coke cans on the sofa and I have to go around picking up after him.

you get the idea.

In a WAY I think it's fair to a certain extent because he is the one that goes out to work, but his job is extremely non-physically-demanding. He works in an office from 8am till 4pm. Whereas right now I'm as huge as a whale and my back is killing me all the time, so it would be nice if he actually gave me a hand with the more physical types of housework.

He doesn't give a stuff whether or not I carry stuff though, or whether my back hurts. It pisses me off a little that he's not just a little bit more considerate to be honest, like with carrying heavy shopping bags in from the car for example.

Pfft.

 

[mamichuli]

Just a suggestion, every couple is different, and i dont want to butt in; From what you say he is very messy and you are a neat person.... the thing is, he probably doesnt really notice the mess! he is possibly so used to you coping with everythig, and aslo is unconcerned if the house is less tidy than before. I suggest you try to reach an agreement about chores you would like him to do because you find them difficult, or uncomfortable. He may not have realised. On the other hand, something i find helps me is to get certain chores done when i feel more energetic, regasrdless of the time of day. For instance, i dont cook the evening meal in the evening, I do it in the morning, when I feel more energetic and while kids are at school. Then in the evening, just heat up.
Hope ideas help
Lisa

 

[mrs_tommo22]

My husband is a lazy git too! and hes not working at the mo which makes it worse, and does sod all for me.
Yestrday morning i was up at 5ish to do the ironing, couldnty sleep anyways. When he did get up at 9 he looked at me and said can i do him some brekie, the reply was get off your fat ass and do it yourself!
Neitherless we had words that day, as he just sat on his butt all day and did sod all and watched me and his mum clean up, wash up, do the washing, etc. So i said to him in front of his mum that he was acting just like his bloody father, and i was his wife not his slave!

Like many if you when tommo went to work and i was at home i didnt mind doing stuff around the house, it made sense to dso it that way. But then we owned the pub and both worked 50 hours a week we split all the chores up, though my list was longer with the ironing etc. If he didnt do his fair share i would leave the place to become a tip until; he cleaned it!

But in all honesty this being my second pregnancy, and having a goood pregnancy7 i can do all my chores without his help, but id like him to at least offer.
I think if you are really suffering and do need his help then tell him how rough you feel, or just leave the jobs till you freel a bit better.

Sorry for the rant!

 

[Sabrina]

My OH does what he can but needs to be reminded of everything. I don't like asking him to do stuff too often (We've only lived together a year and I'm used to being really independent).

Generally his jobs are hoovering, cutting the grass, putting the rubbish out, cleaning the kitchen floor, helping with the shopping and anything else which I ask ad hoc. I wouldn't expect him to do the washing or ironing unless I was bed-bound. Some other little jobs I do because I prefer the way I do them to how he does them.

My OH works full time Mon-Fri and 2 nights each week in his second job. I'm not working now so I can do a little more than when I was working.

 

[Vickyleigh]

I feel alot better now knowing that it's not just my bloke who does it. I kinda feel a little bit bad for going on at him so much. He does work hard but I don't even see any of his wages for shopping and bills etc I pay for it all with my income support money! So not only does he do sod all around the house but he also doesn't help me out money wise. It feels like he is just dossing here. He's on good wages and I don't know what the heck he does with his money but I certainly don't see any of it.
I dont even mind if he doesn't clean up around the house, I just want him to clean up after himself. <-------- Thats me