What do you make of this?

[Ally1979]

Just wondered wot everyone is/has got in terms of antenatal classes etc. Had first class today and there is to be no mention of birth or labour in our classes, any questions we have to ask our midwife on visits.

We have 3 weeks of classes, today was breast feeding and while i have every intention to try and breast feed again this time i could have been made to feel very scared about my baby dying of cot death or an illness if i didnt BF, felt the class was a bit to in your face in terms of BF. We all know breast is best but sometimes circumstances dictate otherwise.

Course is run by HV and not MW. HV was saying today that while she does not expect your house to be spotless, she will be checking the babies sleeping arrangements and if she feels your housing situation is inadiquate (sp?) then she will inform social services!!!

Next week is all about PND and what to do "when" not "if" you get it.

Week 3 is all about real nappies.

I dont feel there is anything in the 3 weeks that is practically helpful. What if you want to bottle feed? No help with that. What if you want to use disposable nappies, again no help or guidance.

I was with a friend who is 2 weeks behind me and a first time mum and she came out feeling she had not learnt anything. She said all she wanted to know about was labour signs, breathing and pain relief not what to do afterwards. Just seemed a bit odd to me.
I have told Mr A that i am going to decline HV home visits after the birth.
Thoughts??

 

[Tadpole]

Wow - that sound full-on.

I thought the point of them was to prepare you for the birth - not scare the bejesus out of you. We had ours with the midwife and went through types of pain relief, choices in labour to do with positions, where to do it etc. How the dad can help, inductions, what may go wrong & what would happen, intervention and a video.

What does she mean by 'inadequate' anyway? Presumably you aren't gonna put LO in the bottom drawer!!!!

The HV came round the other day to introduce herself & I thought she was a bit patronising. Particularly to OH, like he wouldn't be any help either during the labour or afterwards.

Are there any other courses you can attend?

 

[Steelgoddess]

Gwad, sorry but those classes don't sound very positive to me.

Also why are they being done by a HV and not a middy?? Did they explain...

Hv'S sound like the social to me!

 

[Sherlock]

Sounds like a miserable old boot to me.

My classes were run by my MW and her collegue. Really informative and chatty. And having a group of people discuss pain relief and labour was good as people all asked questions that maybe others had not thought of or were embarressed to ask. We never had individual classes on real nappies or PND for sure. It was breastfeeding, labour and pain relief and childcare - things like changing nappies, feeding, handling etc.

I'd say skip your next two classes. They don't sound like they will help.

Take a tour of the labour ward/maternity unit at your chosen hospital and ask your labour/pain relief questions there. And ask them of your MW.

I'd also maybe take the time to write a letter to the local practice (where you HV is based out of) and inform them you found the ante natal classes to be stuffy and unhelpful as they did not cover things you had hoped and feel are important and also express your concern about HV coming over so strong about peoples home and sleeping arrangements.

I'd be requesting a different HV if it were me. I found my home visits great and it was at 6 weeks when my PND was diagnosed and my HV was really supportive. You don't need a battleaxe after giving birth, you need someone who is supportive and kind.

 

[Ally1979]

I am thankful that i have been through it before so im ok with labour ward etc but i just felt for the first time mums who like sheep, nodded at the right times and oooh and aaaahed in the right parts. If it wasnt for my friend going i would not have bothered but i feel even more now that i shud be there to explain the "real" side of things to her!

 

[Mildly]

That sounds really odd and totally not helpful

I've just finished the course of midwife led classes in our area and found them very different. There were four two hour classes each week on a Tuesday night so that pregnant ladies and their partners could attend. The first class covered early labour and when to come in, how to cope whilst at home. The second class covered pain relief from tens machine/deep breathing to epidural. The third class covered not so straight forward births i.e. forceps and c-sections and the fourth class dealt with what happens after the birth. The fourth class also had a brief demo from a woman from teh Real Nappy network.

The midwife checked that we were all planning hospital births and all at the same hospital and so the classes were tailored to our specific hospital and what was available there. No one was planning a homebirth and so there was no need to discuss this in our class.

I also had a Breastfeeding workshop on a Tuesday afternoon, mostly tailored towards just pregnant ladies (no OH's were there). I found this very useful and the whole thing was discussed in detail. We all wrote down any questions we had re. breastfeeding and the midwife made sure all these were answered before we left.

If I were you I would send a letter of complaint to your midwifery practice/Healthcare provider. Perhaps if they get enough feedback about how these classes don't cover what people feel they need to know, then they might change things!

Did they say why they were not going to mention birth or labour? I would have thought these subjects were pretty integral to an antenatal class.

 

[hanti-boo]

When i had just had Nichola, the HV i got was a complete b***h (sorry for swearing)! She did the sleeping arrangments things and said that she shouldn't have been in a moses basket as they aren't approriate for babies. She also had a dig at the fact that i had put the coffee table behind the sofa so it wasn't on the main floor. I just wanted a clear floor so Nichola could roll around if she wanted to, and it made hoovering easier for me after having stitches.

I mentioned it to the midwife when she popped round to assess my stitches and said that i wasn't the only mum to have complained about her and now she doesn't work in the area any more. The members of the HV team i have met now i've moved seem really nice. They seem down to Earth and as if they understand.

 

[Geordie&Bairn]

OH MY GOD
I can not belive the way you have been dictated to bloody hell im seeing red at the mo
how DARE she say she inform social services if the place is not tidy i was told the focus is on the baby not the hoovering

report her she has no right to say such things not doing the dishes is not being a bad mum!!
and as for pushing the brest is best and real nappy thing at you s a load of bo****ks your the mum you decde not them.
Ever mum is diffrenet and every child is diffrerent and you shpuld not have been talked to like you had no idea bout anything and had no right to make your own informed dissision

luckly mu HV was fine though she did go on a but about my living agrangments but she never said i should and shouldnt do this or that she gave advice and then left me to decide what was best

And the antinatal classes were about passing on infomation not a dictatorship lesson
yes thye did mention breast is best and real nappies are kinder to the enviroment and cost effective

but never did they say we had to do those and they never told me if the place wasnt clean id be reported

ill say it agian unfounded scare tactics like that are very very wrong and report her some poor new mums would be petfiried of there first HV visit

sorry ive ranted but this had made me FURIOUS

for you dont go to the rest not worth it hun

 

[Redshoes]

I personally never went to any ante-natal classes, I found my own resources through books, Hypnobirthing sessions, friends and family, and this forum. I do hear that many of these classes are biased one way or another, and some are even frightening mums to be, which seems so obsurd and cruel, I am so sorry that you were spoke to that way, its appaling

The MW and HV's I saw at home after Isaac's birth were nothing but supportive and lovely, for your HV to suggest you wouldn't have adequate housing what on earth is she on?? I do think you've unfortunately found the worst of the worst here, and I would put a complaint in in writing if I were you, its seriously gross practise, its intimidating and threatening to hear, so I can only imagine the shock you must have felt

There are plenty of good classes out there, it is a shame not every Mummy finds them
Very best wishes

These links may be of use;
http://www.birthchoiceuk.com/BirthChoic ... enatal.htm
http://www.aims.org.uk/

 

[Hazel]

Next week is all about PND and what to do "when" not "if" you get it.?

When the HV came to visit me she also basically said I would get PND. We'll wait and see was my answer to that.

 

[HideiLu]

Our class was just one day, well 3 hours.

The first 2 hours added up to only about 1hr due to breaks and disturbances and was about birth. The last hour was mass pressure into BF - without even asking peoples thoughts on whether they would or not prior to starting.

It wasn't entirely useful, but then I have learnt a lot from this forum. The main use was that OH learnt something about how things happen and how to react which is a huge benefit in involving him in things.

 

[Penstraze]

I have my 1 day 4 hour long with breaks antenatal on the 11th can see it being a total waste of time and DH moaning all the way through! I just want to know about breathing etc in labour, and for my DH to have a beter idea of what is actually going to happen durring labour as tv and the soaps have given him a very unrealistic view of it all!!
I'm a qualified nursery nurse have already made informed decissions about breast feeding and nappies and think I will just leave if thats all they focus on! If you don't feel the other sessions are going to be useful you don't have to go to them if its just going to annoy you and make you feel pressured!

 

[aramintalovegrove]

How dare these HV comment on furnishings and adequate homes!

As long as your child has a roof over its head is warm and can come to no harm its counterproductive to threaten any of the last resourt protocols they may have to employ in the very grimest of circumstances. It would be interesting to see how many actual referals she makes on this basis to justify making such a glib remark.

Obviously there are parents that provide less than adequate environmental contitions but these are few and far between and should be dealt with when the problem arise not scare the bejeesus out of everyone so they are anxious about visits that are about the health and wellbeing of your child, not how well you dust your house!

My day job is housing and homeless law and TBH health visitors opinions, although helpful for support letters, dont make a dramatic difference to peoples housing situations. My hubby works for social services and can vouch that you would have to have pretty grim situation for them to get involved, in my expierience if its a housing matter more than a child protection issue they would refuse to get involved at all.

Sounds like these women are on a power trip, part of the Nursing code of conduct stipulates that they should work in a nonjudgemental way and they are clearly breaching this. I would make a serious complaint if anyone made any comment I felt uncomfortable with, its just damn right unprofessional, these women should get a few lessons in tact and diplomacy!

 

[Tadpole]

Sounds like these women are on a power trip, part of the Nursing code of conduct stipulates that they should work in a nonjudgemental way and they are clearly breaching this. I would make a serious complaint if anyone made any comment I felt uncomfortable with, its just damn right unprofessional, these women should get a few lessons in tact and diplomacy!

Damn right. Like we aren't all worrying enough as it is without some power-hungry bi-atch making things worse.

I think a complaint, or at the very least a letter, pointing out the uselessness of the classes and the manner in which you were treated is in order here. Ante-natal classes are supposed to put your mind at ease about the whole thing and answer any questions you & your birthing partner may have - not cite absolute worse case scenarios. Which, as Araminta says, are incredibly rare. I think housing would have to pose an immediate & serious risk to the baby before social services would get involved.

 

[Ally1979]

TBH im not fussed about going but after seeing the way the classes are done i feel it better to be there for my poor friend so i can talk to her afterwards about the "real" options. She is keen to go because its her first and while the breast feeding advice was very comprehensive there was no mention of mastitis, thrush, engorgement or all the other lovely things that can be associated with it.