well that dint go well at all

[Manda&Thomas]

as i thought i sat my hubby down and told him that i think im pg again. he turned and said i no you are manda and we chatted about what to do. he told me he doesnt really want me to test till end of the month to make sure af doesnt show (im on 5-6 week cycles) he said that if i am he will be in complete denial untill he sees a bean on the scan screen. he completly broke down in tears and couldnt cope with the convo at all but he says he completly surports me in that if the same happens again i will be sterilised to save myself going threw yet more grief.
just dont know where i am myself now i dont no weather to test to see so i can sort my head out or leave it and by the time i get a scan il be 11 weeks about only to be told its happened again.
manda x

p.s for people that dont no in may i had a d&c because i had a missed miscarage which is where a sac formed but no baby but my body could miscarry because it thought there was still a baby growing. and i found out that if it happens twice in a row the rates of carrying a child full term drops by 25%
x

 

[babydust]

I just wanted to tell you not to give up hope i had 2 missed m/c 4 years ago i then went on to have my oldest daughter who is 4 years old then straight after her i had my youngest daughter who is 3 years, since then i have had another 2 losses, it is very hard when you lose a baby let alone 4 but i still have my 2 girls so please dont give up hope.

 

[mum2be?]

I sorry hunny

I had a m/c last month, its very hard thing to go thorough, you just have to be there for each other.

I really hope its your month & its sticks

 

[-Betty-]

I had a missed miscarrage too last year. I had a D&C. waited three months and got pregnant.He is now 9 weeks old. Dont give up hope as they are only stats...

 

[katyk]

hey if you had an early m/c you are entitled to an early scan. if it turns out you are pg see your doc and explain what happened last time, see your doc and you will normally be given a scan around 6-8 weeks. Simple as!

As to getting sterilised just to avoid the pain of another m/c just in case it happens again, in a few months/ year of however long it takes you will be more ready to try again. No doc will give you a sterilisation if you tell him that this is the real reason why you want it.

They will just say you need counselling or in some way to come to terms with your loss with time, and offer you that.

You need to give yourself time, or see your doc or a counsellor for a chat. The last few posts I've read of yours, have been filled with pain and anxiety.

If it turns out you are not pg, why not use a condom for a while or some other contraception (I hate to say it but maybe sneak on the pill if your boyf won't let you use anything.)

If it turns out you are pg, or even if you are not, I really think you need counselling after your loss hun, or at least give yourself time and visit any lady friends you have for chats, or spend a few weeks talking it over with us girls on the m/c board and this one. And get lots of support through the stress at the start of any new pregnancy you have now or in the future.

A lot of us will understand how you feel, I've had 2 m/cs and now am trying again. It's very scary!

p.s for people that dont no in may i had a d&c because i had a missed miscarage which is where a sac formed but no baby but my body could miscarry because it thought there was still a baby growing. and i found out that if it happens twice in a row the rates of carrying a child full term drops by 25%

This is the exact situation I'm in, I have had two missed m/c's, and I can tell you that wherever you have read/whoever said that to you it's not right.

A woman who's had 2 missed m/c's have a 90% chance or more of going on to have a healthy baby next time round, just like any other women who've had 2 m/cs- it doesn't make any odds whether they were missed m/cs or not. This is what I was told by a nurse, three doctors, and you will read this in most things you read about it (though some things you read on the net are simply wrong.)

This is why they don't investigate women after only 2 m/c's, missed or otherwise. BECAUSE THE VAST MAJORITY OF US GO ON TO HAVE A SUCCESSFUL PREGNANCY

You need to see your doc, get him to reassure you.

I think you could chat to the girls on the miscarriage and loss board too (that's what it's there for ) Not everyone who is on the ttc board has m/c'd, and some may have but are ready to try to ttc and trying to keep upbeat about it- because we will get there I like the ttc board because we mainly talk about ttc, I like the m/c board too for when I want to read about m/c. I don't appreciate innaccurate downer scare stories anywhere, but that's just me.

I know how you feel though Mand, as after my second d + c I too read the horror stories on the net and was worried it would scar and effect my chances. But my GP was soooo reassuring and really I think that's very rare, it just seems you are more likely to come across the inaccurate horror stories and bad news if you read online, and it gives the impression it's more common than it is. That's the same with any illness, people can read about something online and literally read that there's a possibility their insides will collapse in on each other or something But my partner's often said this due to health problems he's had in the past, it's easy to get the horrors if you read stuff on the net. Speak to your GP and if you have a decent one, they will probably be genuinely reassuring

 

[Urchin]

aw sorry to hear this Manda

Where did you hear about the 2 in a row thing? I have looked all over and the only think I can find is this

Recurrent miscarriage

Miscarriage is a very common event and many women experience two or more miscarriages, purely by chance. Having more than one miscarriage can lead to anxieties that a normal pregnancy will never occur. But even after two miscarriages it is unlikely that you have an underlying problem, and there should be every chance of a successful pregnancy in the future.

Who's idea is it to get sterilised if you have another miscarriage? That sounds very drastic! Many, many women have multiple miscarriages and go on to have normal happy pregnancies.
I know your husband is upset but I think there is a lot to be said for positive thinking, even if it just makes the pair of you feel a bit better.

 

[muppetmummy]

 

[Becs]

Manda,

Please take more time to think about things. Urchin is right it is very drastic to sterilize yourself. I have had 2 m/c and have discovered I just needed help with my progesterone levels, whic turns out to be very straight forward.Please consider seeing a fertility specialist to hear an expert opinion before taking this measure.

Big hugs,

Becsxxx

 

[Manda&Thomas]

thanks so much all of you you are all so great and helpfull
the stats i found on a site cant remeber what one now as it was just after i went threw it.
ive had so much pain in my life and seen lots of people go threw horrific things and i do suffer from depression alot which is a big fear for my dr's that i will suffer post natal depression after a baby.
my hubby is very surportive in everything i do thank god i have someone like that.
still very confused and upset about alot of things as i cant really talk to any family members about it as my mums never lost a baby so she doesnt really understand my sister has lost 2 babys but we aint very close so as for females i dont really have many to talk to my dad is great but he breaks down if i approch the subject as he nose everything i have been threw in life and he doesnt understand why its always me.
im so glad i have you lot to talk to i used to have counsilling when i was at college and it helped me alot. will ask dr about getting some if i can pluck up the courage for it
thanks alot you guys again
manda xx