Weird situation re brothers wedding

[knopk@]

Hi ladies, not sure if its the right section but here we go.
My brother is engaged, we all have been talking re his wedding but as he is 23(another story, his fiance is 31), he doesnt have funds for the wedding and i said its very unlikely DH and i can make it this year as my DH has his CIMA exam in November etc.

So recently i found out she is pregnant (i dont get it why they were TTC before the wedding but its just me).
Now they want to get married in November and my parents are trying to pressure me into coming but i am about 12 weeks now and have a son who is walking(more like running everywhere) and i need to catch 2 flights to get there. He wont get a separate seat so how am i supposed to deal with him?
Am i being selfish?
I obviously want to be there but it will be hell getting there.
It will cost me £300 just for the flights, i would rather get him a nice present

Tapatalking so cant see signatures

 

[prettypenguin]

i don't know what to suggest but i don't think its selfish! no way would i be able to afford that especially so near Christmas.

have they been together long or is it a sudden thing? x

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[knopk@]

They have been together couple of years but its just so inconvenient re timing

Tapatalking so cant see signatures

 

[willowwisp]

Well you'll be heavily pregnant, with a young child already that alone would be enough for me to say no. The fact it will cost £300 so close to Christmas is just a twist of the knife!

I wouldn't go personally.

 

[tambo1976]

I wouldn't go either. Even putting the £300 aside it is still a big ask, travelling so far with a little one and your pregnant as well... then when you throw the £300 back into the equasion it seems ridiculous!

I would just buy him a nice present and explain its just not doable given your current circumstances xx

 

[redbear]

Its short notice to pay out £300, well it would be for me. speak to your brother and explain close to xmas and pregnant it would be too much but to make it up like you say get them a really nice gift or even a night in a hotel (groupon lol) and you will come over when they have had there baby and you have had yours next year when you can celebrate because you wont be heavily pregnant! xx

 

[Kayelle]

I agree, I also would not go. Please don't for a second think you are selfish! That is a ridiculous ask! Even if it cost me 2quid and didn't have the lo I wouldn't fly heavily pg, what a nightmare. Explain the situation and he should understand especially given they have moved it forward creating the difficult situation. X

 

[LoopyLouize]

Agree I wouldn't be comfortable going either. I'd just tell them the truth really, it's not like it's a rubbish excuse, it's a pretty good one lol x

 

[Little_angel]

I wouldn't go, but that's partly because my FS warned me off flying while pregnant. Lots of people do.

If you did want to go, I would suggest speaking to your family and getting them to help you. If they want you to attend, one of them needs to go on the flight with you and look after your son.

Since you don't sound like you want to go, I would make whatever excuses you can!

 

[knopk@]

Its just too difficult, even if i could use DHs airmiles, i still dont want to go. Flying means exposure to radiation plus i will just be exhausted and all that for a small rushed wedding.
I dont know why they didnt wait until the baby is here but its not my decision obviously.
Just have to tell my parents i am not going. I am not sure they will understand how difficult it is to fly with him but hey ho. They are planning to visit end of November anyway so they can wait to see us

Tapatalking so cant see signatures

 

[redbear]

Well tell them you asked the mw and she said not to risk it- which is true some dont like you flying at all xx

 

[Froslass]

I can see where you're coming from hun, but if my brother wanted me there, I'd do my best to make it xx

Obviously if you flat out cant afford it then thats diffrent, but I think if it was important to your brother i'd try and make it x

Dont be pressurized into going by others. Speak to your brother directly and see what he says x

 

[knopk@]

I spoke to my brother before and said we are very unlikely to make it this year. So he knows.
I went to visit my parents in may- june and flew there by myself, it was very difficult and he wasnt walking then. Now he is non stop.
Just have to speak to my parents so they see my point

Tapatalking so cant see signatures

 

[Froslass]

Where is it you would be flying to?

I agree it's probably not the best idea to be flying with a toddler on your lap, unless your OH was with you xx

If your brother is ok with it, then thats all that matters hun x Its his big day, not your parents x

 

[knopk@]

Its Crimea, so i would have to catch connecting flight in Kiev, there are no facilities for children at the airport and connection.is more than 3 hours. Then i would be arriving there 11 pm and its 1 hour drive from.the airport.

I will speak to my brother and his fiancee directly and explain.


Tapatalking so cant see signatures

 

[Froslass]

That is a lot to do with a toddler on your own xx

Speak to him and explain x tell him if it wasn't such short notice you could have worked something out etc xx

They must have expected some people not to be able to make it surely? X