Weird hypothetical question

[Rosebay]

Hi Ladies,

it's been a while as I really needed a break from TTC after my second m/c in January but I'm about to get back in to it (I was advised to give it a 3 month break by my acupuncturist while he treated me and it's up this month). Now I know the probability is that we won't get a BFP first time but if we did then I would be 8-10 weeks pregnant when we go on holiday to Cornwall in June. If I wait until May to TTC then the most I could be would be 5-7 weeks pregnant (if we got really really lucky and fell first time).

Now my first m/c was a missed m/c at 10 weeks and I ended up in hospital and it was very scary and dramatic and I was very glad to be near a hospital and home when it happened. So I'm worried about being away at that point. On the other hand it would probably take my mind off one of the hardest bits of the first tri for me- i.e. the point where I m/c and perhaps I should think really positively about it all and just trust that it'll be ok. My OH will be there with me 24/7 and my brother lives nearby too so it's not like I won't have support if the worst happened.

On the other hand if I'm 5-7 weeks pregnant that's when I usually feel the most pants in terms of morning sickness and tiredness and it would kind of be a real drag for the rest of my family plus I did lose at 5 weeks too so I'll be worried about that (although physically it wasn't as scary as my 10 week loss). We plan to do some nice cooking and lots of (slow) walks with our 2 year old but me feeling spewy and knackered and especially grumpy might be a bit sad.

I know this is a stupid question really but what would you do? I know it's unlikely I'd fall first time anyway (although I did with my 1st and 2nd pregnancies) but just in case I'd like to have thought about it. We are so desperate to get going again although I do feel really positive about it. I'm planning to pay for a scan at about 8 weeks to see if they can detect a heartbeat.

Not sure I can wait until June to TTC.

Any thoughts?
Thanks ladies- I've been checking up on you all while I've been quiet but trying to not think about TTC too much during my break as I'd got to a very sad place after my second m/c.
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[gerb]

i understand ur dilemma- honestly i would just go- if u were going abroad i definately wouldnt but in cornwall i think i would, after all the owrse case u can come home. completely understand ur anxiety and i think id rather be away and get your mind off it
hope u get a speedy sticky bfp xxx

 

[Emma79]

Hi Rosebay, good to see you back again.

In answer to your question, personally I would start trying again as I would feel like I was putting my life on hold if I was planning TTC around holidays etc. I agree with gerb that if you did fall pg, the break may help take your mind off things and also as you're sticking to the UK then you'll never be far away from hospital should you need them (although hopefully not).

Hope to see you back in TTC section soon xx

 

[DaisyRose]

Hiya Rosebay,

Great to see you back! All the best for TTC.

If it were me I'd probably just go ahead with the hol, and work things out accordingly at the time (hopefully you'll be 10 weeks pg but if not you may regret having not taken the holiday - especially as it sounds like you're really looking forward to spending time with your little boy). At the end of the day, what will be will be, and there are always emergency docs in the area.

I m/c on the way back from the Lake District last year - the hol was booked way before we even ttc but it was just very unlucky (well...maybe it was lucky that it waited until we were coming home because it didn't spoil the holiday, and I'm still very glad we went as up until that point, we had a lovely time together and I felt so happy)! This time I flew to Spain when I was 10 weeks (parents have private emergency medical cover) and although I felt very tired and sick, everything was fine. If you do find that you are pg before your hol it may be worth checking out the wherabouts of the emergency docs/ A&E deps, just for your peace of mind; NHS Direct were very good when I was travelling back on the M6!!!

All the best

 

[Rosebay]

Thank you so much ladies, that has really helped. I've been leaning towards that option myself but wasn't 100%. I get so worked up about everything and am a control freak too (that's why a total break has been good for me!) but I want to do what's best for my family too.

Wow this TTC after a m/c is scary indeed isn't it? Just got to keep positive

Thanks so much!
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[miffy]

Hi Rosebay

Glad to see you're back and getting ready for TTC again. Just wanted to say that if you're feeling ready, then go for it! Like you, I have a 2 year old son, then had 2 m/cs last year, falling pg quickly each time. Yes it was devastating, but I was determined to keep going, and now I'm in my 3rd tri!

So it can happen and it will happen for you I'm sure. It is scary TTC after m/c, and I haven't joined the 1st/2nd Tri forums as I just didn't want to tempt fate (although I have been lurking!). Might join 3rd Tri soon, but to be honest it is only just sinking in that I will actually be giving birth at some point! You just have to take it one day and one week at a time as you get over each hurdle and milestone.

If you're feeling ready now, I'd get started if I were you. Hopefully you'll get a BFP quickly, but it may take a little longer and you might regret waiting. I wouldn't let your holiday affect your judgment, if anything you'll probably feel more relaxed being away with the family and it will take your mind off things. Also, if you fall pg immediately, you may have time to have an early scan before your holiday to put your mind at rest?

Really hope it goes well for you, I know exactly how you feel and the anxieties you face.


for a quick BFP! Good luck

 

[Rosebay]

Thanks Miffy and congratulations to you and the other ladies in this thread who are now pregnant after loss. It's so so different now to how it was with Elliott, that pregnancy was totally trouble free from beginning to end but now I find it hard to think that it will happen again but no! I am trying to keep the faith and you have all faced it and are being incredibly brave so I should too

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[Happybunny]

Hi

Just wanted to say that OH and I booked the trip to Hong Kong and Thailand last January because we wanted something to look forward to in the summer after our second mc at 10 weeks (baby would have been due in the summer). (first mc at 6 weeks)
We found out we were pregnant again just before we went away. Obviously I was excited about being pregnant, but absolutely terrified of losing a third baby and the thought did cross my mind ' What if I m/c in a foreign country?'. However, the distraction of being away did me the world of good. I managed to relax and have fun and forget about being pregnant (apart from puking in Dubai airport ) By the time I got home half of first tri had gone and I had less time to stress.
If you are ready to to TTC again, go for it! I wish you lots and lots of luck.
Michelle
xx

 

[Rosebay]

Thanks for the replies ladies- we're TTC right now! Wish me luck! I'm trying to stay clear of the TTC board because I'm so tense about it all and I start to count the hours when given half an ounce of encouragement so I'm trying to not think about it after I've OVd if that's at all possible so no ticker for me!

When there's good news I'll be back!

Thanks again

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[clucky77]

I would start trying again and still go. Sounds like you will have lots of support around you at the time. I wouldn't plan a full on itinerary in case you feel pants, but build on lots of relaxation.

I too am faced with the same dilemma... I am going to start trying next month and go to Croatia and Italy in Aug, as life is too uncertain. Will just make sure I take dr numbers etc and stay near hopsitals. Just means I won't be doing a 5 day sail, but just a day sail for example.

Hope you fall PG and have a healthy happy PG'cy + a great holi too !

 

[x Naomi x]

Lovely to hear from you hun

Just go for it, enjoy the BD'ing and dont worry too much about what could or couldnt happen, i know exactly where you are coming from with this and all i can say is in my personal experience, not actively trying and just going with the flow did it for us,

I must admit before each scan - i have had them at 7 weeks, 9 and abit after a bleed, and 12 weeks, i talked myself into the worst case scenario i think as a way of self preservation, so i can why you are thinking about nearest hospitals but think positive, it is NOT going to happen again and you will have a lovely time morning sickness or not!