Was hoping I wouldn't end up here..

[MissMcleodx]

I have a 3 year old daughter already which I'm very grateful for, she makes all this pain and grief worth while. She's amazing.
I had a miscarriage back in September 2010 with my child's dad. After that mc we went our seperate ways, ultimately I think the mc was the last straw and we ended the relationship. I now have a partner of 3 years and we've just recently got engaged. But since being together we struggled to get pregnant and was trying for over 2 years. We even had checks to make sure their wasn't anything wrong with us fertilty wise. We finally found out I was pregnant around two weeks ago which would of been his first child, and now I'm having my second miscarriage. I'm starting to lose hope tbh and I'm not sure if I want to get pregnant again as I'll be too frightened of this happening to me again and I'm starting to think that theirs something wrong with me and prob won't be able to have anymore children (which would devastate my partner). It's harder when all your friends are going on to have happy healthy babies and then there's me. I do feel a massive failure And I feel like I've let my partner down big time. I'm not coping very well and haven't been able to go out & face the world, feels like such a big task, and got no motivation at all. Although the pain is terrible at the moment, so I'm not feeling myself at all, I hope I feel abit better & abit more optimistic after this has passed.

 

[mylullaby]

Sorry to hear your sad news MissMcleodx. You are in the right place for the support of people who've experienced the same thing though and got through it despite feeling like they never would. Easier said than done, but never give up hope honey. xxx

 

[Lou1103]

So sorry for your loss hun. With it being so recent, you're bound to feel negative. Try not to count it out just yet, see how you feel in a couple of months?

I feel the same, wondering whats wrong with me when so many have no issues at all having babies. Try not to blame yourself, it is so easy to do that rather than to accept that it was just 'one of those things' (i hate that saying but sometimes there is no reason for these horrible things) and i'm sure your partner doesn't blame you. Try not to be so hard on yourself, hope you feel better soon xxx

 

[MissMcleodx]

Thank you so much ladies, my partners very upset as it would of been his first, and I feel like I've really let him down. I hope I start to be abit more positive soon, cause we've wanted it for so long. I think this miscarriage is a lot harder than last as my previous mc my relationship was on a downward spiral and after the mc we had to split up. This time we've just got engaged and couldn't of been happier, we really thought everything was properly falling into place, new house, a healthy 3 year old, and just got engaged. Now I can't even enjoy that at the minute.

 

[wifeywifey]

I'm sorry your going through this, I have two boys and recently just had a mc and its hit me really hard. We have talked a about it and decided maybe in a few years we will try again. I'm sure as its so new it will get easier but will take time x

 

[mistyblue]

Hi hun, please don't blame yourself. You haven't done anything wrong. I know how you feel though. I think it's hardest because, for the most part, there's no explanation for it and we want to know why it happened.

I have had long talks with my DH about trying again. At first, I was sure I never wanted to, as I kept thinking 'what if it happened again?', but we both want a baby so much. Tbh, I keep changing my mind. I am sure there's nothing wrong and you are most certainly not a failure. Stay strong hun. The ladies on here are wonderful and supportive and they have helped me so much. Look after yourself and take care x x x

 

[MissMcleodx]

Thank you mistyblue, your kind words really do go a long way when you're as down as I feel. I'm not too sure what I want at the minute but that's because I'm upset and grieving. It's hard to think of a bright future. X

 

[mistyblue]

I know what you mean. It's very hard to focus on the future, so I have been trying to take it one day at a time. Some days are better than others. Take it easy and look after yourself. One of my sisters had a mc a couple of years ago. Since then she's had a little boy. She told me that her mc meant she could go on to have her little man. That's how I'm trying to look at it x x x

 

[Lilmisshopeful]

So sorry for your loss xxx

 

[gemloulau]

So sorry for your loss, please don't ever feel like a failure. You are not, I promise xx

 

[MissMcleodx]

Thank you so much guys, your kind words have helped xx