Want to help the Mrs!! But how?

[mickyc]

Hi All,

My Fiancee is 16 weeks gone and is struggling to cope with 2nd trimester. I have been doing everything i can. I work nights 5 on, 5 off! When im off i run her baths, make the dinner, buy her flowers and massage her belly. I have asked if i am doing to much she said i was being daft!!

Nothing seems to be working to cheer her up. I dont show im worried because im a bloke, but i am. We are both so excited about the we baby!!

All im asking is, Am i doing to much? Is there anything I should be doing or shouldnt be doing so i can cheer my darling mum to be up!!

Mick

 

[Baby Bean]

Awww that's really lovely wish my hubby had been like you when I was pregnant! It sounds like you are being really supportive and doing everything you can. I was an emotional wreck my only advice would be to listen to what she wants/ doesn't want. She'll have good and bad days. Try and do the housework too, I would have really appreciated practical things like that! Congratulations on the pregnancy

 

[Sarah13]

Wow you sound like a dream husband! Def ask her how she's feeling and how baby is, (my hubby asks every day) give her the opportunity to offload, we get ourselves so worried about every little thing so can stress us out. Also though try to remember pregnancy isn't an illness so some of us (like me) prefer just to get on with it and not be treated any differently, that might change during tri 3 when Im the size of a house though!

I just like my hubby to ask how I'm feeling but don't want to be run about after whereas some women love to make the most of being pampered so you know the sort of person she is and what she would prefer. Try to remember her hormones are everywhere which can make you feel miserable but for no reason, I've had days like this, it can be the enormity of what's happening can be really scary! Let her know your worries and fears too, we can read things wrong sometimes and she might not know you have the same worries she does.

I know a lot of women also feel lonely and insecure when their partners are away working or on a night out so try to reasure her and encourage her to do her own things too and see friends while she still has lots of time. None of us like it much when men get to go out drinking and we're stuck at home or can't drink anymore, it makes me feel a bit left out so lots of reassurance is needed and to feel included, pregnancy can often feel very lonely, you only have to look though a few posts on here!

Good luck!

 

[Geminiblue]

...and remember to look after yourself too. If you get sick then it impacts everyone doesnt it. It does get better and then different. Your doing brilliantly sounds like you have everything covered. Im sure she appreciates it all x

 

[mickyc]

Thank you for replying!! really appreciate it!!

That's the problem though, i don't want to tell her what worries me because im not like that and i dont want to worry her! just want to be her rock! Every gal likes being pampered but i honestly didnt realise how different it would be when it comes to your mrs having your baby! I dont go out drinking much say once a month, i play football at weekend so my worries are taken away there but it is nice to speak about it! Congratulations to you all!

And again thank you for replying!

 

[mickyc]

Oh just a quick question do gals feel pain in the sides and stomach ache in 2nd trimester more than 1st? nothing seems to be easing off!! Bonus though, no morning sickness or cravings!!

 

[Sarah13]

Yeah still lots of stretching pains going on! Just going to add make sure you have someone to talk about your worries and concerns too as well, even if it's just on here! You men do like to be a rock for us don't you! You sound like your being a great support to her, good luck

 

[Geminiblue]

...Sarah's right, you need to speak to someone you can trust and if its just on here, you fire away, we're here for you too if you need support or to ask questions as you have done so far. Its good you are doing something else to take your mind of things. The men tend to get lost in all of this to be honest, a little pushed to one side at times I think. I kept saying to my OH "and how are you doing?" which he thought was hilarious as one of the occasions I said it during labor ha ha. Sometimes people can forget youre going through this as well. Once again, well done for doing a fantastic job youre doing brilliantly.

 

[mickyc]

That's another reason why I'm on here! To let all out! Went to the midwife yesterday and oh my dear lord that little heartbeat can beat!! Amazing!! And today she can feel the fizzy bubbles as she calls it!! Felt like a right dip stick when I asked midwife what I need to do and what we need to do I got just wait!! Frustrating!!

I know what I'm going to get when she is in labour "I'll kill ya,get out"!!! Lol! Yeah kinda like being a rock for her gives her confidence! Was/is everyones fella the same?

 

[Chookette]

You remind me of my OH. He is such a sweetie too... Cannot do enough for me....

Not sure I will be yelling at him in labour but we will see...

 

[Sarah13]

My hubby a rock too, doesn't show his worries to me either, he winds me up though telling me he will be in the pub when I give birth and that's a mans place!

 

[mickyc]

Not a chance I'm in the pub when she's giving birth!! I'm being there until she tells me to get out!! The pub is later when I'm celebrating and it's ok with the mrs!! Lol!!

 

[Sarah13]

Don't think he'll really go unless I kick him out! Must admit I'm quite worried about hubby being there incase he don't fancy me anymore after seeing me in that state, I knew a guy who didn't find his wife sexually attractive afterwards, might tell him to go to pub!

 

[Xcitedmum]

Micky you sound like a top bloke! Maybe buying an angelsounds doppler so that you can both listen to the babys heartbeat will help improve her mood a wee bit when shes feeling down or worried? I bought mine off ebay - it was the best thing I ever did x

 

[mickyc]

Don't think he'll really go unless I kick him out! Must admit I'm quite worried about hubby being there incase he don't fancy me anymore after seeing me in that state, I knew a guy who didn't find his wife sexually attractive afterwards, might tell him to go to pub!

From a blokes point of view no matter what state there women is in giving birth it should never change!! i mean come on night out my mrs got home and i sat up all night holding her hair back!! STATE AND HALF!!!!

No cant go pub when it's happening especially when it's one of my highlights of being a live!!

 

[mickyc]

Xcitedmum2b - i was looking at them last night when i was at work!! Cant believe how cheap they are!! waiting for it to come home not told mrs!! she has perked up abit because its only 4 weeks till we find out what we having!!!

 

[Sarah13]

Forgot about my hubby already seen me in the state your on about a number of times lol! Good to get a mans point of view though!

I've got one of those dopplers it's great, we heard baby for first time at 12 weeks together which was really nice. My hubby is away offshore just now so I recorded the hb the other day and emailed it to him, he was well happy! He misses so much as he's away a month at at time so send him photos of the growing (or lack of growing in my case!) bump!