Visiting sibling

[Rachyw86]

Hey ladies,

So I found out yesterday my sister is planning on visiting us for a whole day.

Basically she's visiting on the Friday and I'm having babe on the Monday. Her and her husband are a few hours away from us and they're staying over night the night before so they can get to us in the morning.

Fine. I thought well they will go about 3pm ish.

I spoke to my dad last night who said they were planning on leaving after rush hour which is going to be around 7pm!!!!

I'm totally gobsmacked!! I'm going to be home only a couple of days prior and I will be trying to establish BFing and recovering from a caesarean. I'm not comfortable whipping my boob out infront of her partner which means ill have to keep getting up to feed in the bedroom and with the surgery I think this is going to be too much. I think to stay from say 9am till 7pm is just too full on. Me and my husband will want to take naps too when the baby is asleep!

Don't get me wrong I love my sister dearly but I think expecting to stay that long is a bit too much. My problem is this....

I would happily say it to most people but not my sister. Everyone treads carefully about what they say around her and she gets offended very very easily and takes things personally and gets a real sulk of things don't go her way.

How can I approach this one?
Am I being unreasonable?

Xx

 

[Orion]

Unfortunately you either let your sister do as she pleases, or tell her that her plan isn't convenient.

 

[MrsG81]

Is this your first baby? Only reason I ask is sometimes how you think you are going to feel and how you may actually feel are two different things. Even though I had a c-section too I was very happy to have visitors. The endless days of no sleep, feeding, nappy changing etc just blurr in to nothing lol. Don't get me wrong, it's an amazing time but sometimes some normal non-baby conversation is lovely too.

I guess it depends on what your sister is like. My sister would come and help out. She'd make coffee, feed and change baby and offer to let me nap (she did this while in hospital after my c-sections with previous babies) and she'd do the washing up and probably buy us all a take away for dinner!

But if your sister expects to sit in the living room while you or hubby make her drinks like a regular visit then it might be worth saying something before hand. If you are only having baby on Monday and she is coming Friday maybe ask if she can make it the week after? Some people stay in 3 nights so you might not even get home until Thursday so the Friday could actually be the first full day home.

 

[Jessiecat]

Have you got other local family? Could your dad offer to take her out for tea or something or invite them to his for the afternoon?

 

[Rachyw86]

Thanks ladies.
MrsG this is our first baby yes .

You make a valid point about will she help out etc.

Well she's the kind that will expect to be waited on hand and foot. Teas made, lunch, dinner that kind of thing.
We got invited over for Christmas dinner and I ended up cooking it all 7 months pregnant!

xx

 

[MrsG81]

Thanks ladies.
MrsG this is our first baby yes .

You make a valid point about will she help out etc.

Well she's the kind that will expect to be waited on hand and foot. Teas made, lunch, dinner that kind of thing.
We got invited over for Christmas dinner and I ended up cooking it all 7 months pregnant!

xx

Oh gosh then I think you might have to bite the bullet and say something before hand! You will be needing to take it easy, your hubby will be busy looking after you and helping you with the baby. If she is just going to be another guest to look after then that is something you don't need!

Hope she doesn't kick off with you and that she is a little understanding!

 

[Prettypee]

I would mention that your looking forward to seeing her although your a little nervous as to how you might be feeling post baby so just in advance you want to make sure she won't get offended thst you might have to take a couple of breaks, bf in another room or even have a lie down for a bit. That way your being honest without actually saying it'll be inconvenient and she will either adjust her plan or understand that you might have to take breaks- just prepares her in advance I guess. X

 

[Niknaknoo]

I reckon it's the kind of conversation you would be better having sooner rather than later. That is a long time to have visitors for especially if you aren't going to be completely comfortable with them there.
I would probably ask them to go out for a while in the afternoon so you can have a rest, that might be best way to approach it. They could take themselves off for lunch or something - tell them you don't have enough food! X

 

[i.love]

Could you ask your parents to talk to her? They could say this like it comes as advice from them, not from you. Asking your parents to take your sister out also sounds like a great idea to me!

Or... Could you make some excuse? Like you will be going somewhere after 3 - 'sorry I arranged it some time ago, I didn't think you would be staying after three as you have a long drive home' or smth? I don't know what the excuse could be though. Maybe a hairdresser, or a photo shoot, or weighing clinic or whatever? Sorry can't think of a good excuse really, but maybe you can?

In any case,I think you need to sort this out. I think having someone around for a whole day can be tiring in any case, and with a newborn?... I wouldn't want to sign up for something like this. I might feel differently when the time comes, but there is a strong chance that I wouldn't.

 

[littlemonkey]

Just be honest with her. I have the same with one of my sisters she has been pandered to by my dad and takes every thing personally

 

[TashaWink]

Definitely say something to her, maybe mention that you will need to be having naps And then she might get the hint.