ttc or put it on hold

[Aries86]

Well I have recently posted on here after not falling pregnant last month . Although I only had the mirena coil out Oct so I didn't think I'd have a high chance anyway.

Predictament I'm now in.

I still feel that I want to get pregnant as I'm now 29 and lots of fertility issues with all the females in the family . Polystic ovaries , tilted wombs, undiagnosed fertility problems , some females in the family just can't get preganant , even with ivf.

I've never been diagnosed with any issues and fell pregnant with my son at 19 SUPER FAST !!!

So I have just finished my nurses degree and got a job lined up etc. Ive been offered My dream job to start Feb/March at full time hours 37.5 a week

So now I'm thinking should I wait and I'm to get pregnant next Xmas after I've settled in New job
Or just go for it as I've already been given the job and I'd only take 8-10 weeks out when I have the baby .

I've talked to my partner about it . We been together nearly 5 years.

He told me that he thinks we should just go for it , as it could take months to catch and I may be gambling my last chances away by waiting too long. I want to but needed some practical advice from the ladies too.

He seems really keen and so am I , I'm just thinkoing of how I'll tell my new boss, how I'll manage etc. But I don't want to lose my chance of having another child either. I can always get another job but fertility only lastsso long .

 

[Aries86]

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[GillM]

Only you'll know how you feel and what's best but only factoring 8-10 weeks maternity leave? Is that your only choice? Longer is not for everyone financially or emotionally but its a very short period of time and you would have to assume everything goes perfectly and that you have a child that feeds well, sleeps well and settles well with other people. All of those factors are far from predictable x

 

[Aries86]

That's true. I could take more time, 8-10 weeks is the shortest amount of time I intend to take. My parents are very supportive. They currently look after my 9yr old son whilst I'm at work , they live right opposite his school . I live in same village so we are all close. My parents have been asked about if I return to work click they help out as I'd much rather slip them some money then a total stranger. They are more then happy to help out if I return to work . So childcare is not an issue. In my heart I want to start trying but my brain is saying to wait. However if I wait I may never get pregnant . No females over 25 in my family ( 10 with cousins and sisters) have concieved naturally and I'm 29!!!. Their is fertility issues in the genetics of the family which does worry me.

 

[GillM]

TBH it wasn't a great time when I fell pregnant with my first - my husband and I both went back to Uni late in life. He was only just graduating and I had to split my probation year ax a teacher and could only take six months off which I regret. My mum does my childcare and she's fantastic but I feel I really missed out. This time round we're settled, our wee one will be four and I've cut my work to two days because of our little ones additional support needs. I intend to take far longer off this time despite having my mum for childcare and I'm under no disillusion that it'll be hard with our current little ones needs but I'm up for a challenge!!!
You cope with what you're given. I was 33 when we had our son and it took almost two years to conceive. This time round at 36 - 3 months! There's seems to be no rhyme or reason. Do what's best for you as work is not the be all and end all x

 

[MrsS15]

Hi Aries,

I'm a nurse too, and personally I would wait. 8 - 10 weeks off is nothing. You'd need to go off at 38 weeks latest (providing you're able to go that long and have an easy pregnancy) and if your baby is late you could potentially be going back when your baby is 4 weeks. I think the NHS will also have certain rules on that. If you wait till August next year to try you'll be in the job 6 months and get full very good maternity leave. You'll enjoy your time off so much more, please don't potentially sacrifice that for only 9 months waiting. I understand what you're saying about fertility but you did have a child very easily the first time, there's no reason why things can't be the same.

I'm 27, hubby 32 and our son is 7 and we've waited till now to try for another because I want to go on maternity leave and take at least 9 months, plus like Gill said I didn't have my son in the best circumstances so I went back to studying to make sure the next time is so much better, hence why I've waited. And I'm so glad! I don't believe anyone should put a job before family etc but this is your career for life, you also don't want to look back and regret that time missed with your baby. If you're doing 12.5hr shifts those are long days away from such a small baby. It's completely your choice but really think it through first xx