TTC and Family Arrrgh!

[LouF]

MOAN ALERT!!

I was feeling positive today, coming up to ov, been bd'ing and still of the fags day 8 and feeling fine.

Then - went to my mil's tonight and she asked when the fertility clinic app is and I said the 26th ( next week), we were chatting and I said that in one way I want them to find something and we can treat it, if they find no probs then what do we do??? She just said "well I have told you all along just relax and it will happen the more you get het up it's not going to happen" ARRRRRGGGGHHHHH

Also my sil said to me yesterday that a friend of hers used a fertility monitor and got preg maybe I should get one, I told her that I had looked at them but decided not as the family were all telling me I was getting obsessed with ttc!! Now she says get a monitor
I said whats the point when we go to the clinic next week

I love my family to bits and they all know we are ttc as we are close and talk, but sometimes it drives me insane all the helpful comments and I wish we had never said a word but how can you keep a secret for 2yrs??

Especially when I have a fil who every time we see him he winks and says anything yet?? or Any news for us ?? or Come on son do your thing lets be having another grand child!!
Told him that these comments are getting to me and he has been better but the odd one pops out now and again

I dont think I'm that obsessed or am I ??

Does anybody else get probs like this ??

 

[Emma79]

She just said "well I have told you all along just relax and it will happen the more you get het up it's not going to happen" ARRRRRGGGGHHHHH

No wonder you wanna scream hun, I hate comments like this especially coming from people who should know better and have a bit more sensitivity to your feelings. Had very similar comment myself last week - I bawled my eyes out later so I feel for you

 

[LouF]

She just said "well I have told you all along just relax and it will happen the more you get het up it's not going to happen" ARRRRRGGGGHHHHH

No wonder you wanna scream hun, I hate comments like this especially coming from people who should know better and have a bit more sensitivity to your feelings. Had very similar comment myself last week - I bawled my eyes out later so I feel for you

Thanks hun , I shouldn't moan as they are great people but it just gets to you sometimes dosen't it

Seen you tickers and sorry for your losses , you have been ttc for nearly as long as us too, how do you cope Emma?

What keeps you positive?

Just feel like I moan all the time Thank god I found the forum or I think I would have gone bonkers, just feel I can come on here and get it all out!! But also worry people will get peed off with me moaning but I just can't help it at the mo

 

[tootsieb]

Fortunately nobody asks me if we're thinking of having a baby - I think they reckon that I'm past it at 39. I'm beginning to feel they may be right lol. I'd find it very difficult to cope if I was being asked, it's hard enough without other people asking, even if they do care!

 

[LouF]

Tootsie You are not past it !!!! My sil who suggested the monitor has a 1yr old and she is 40 this year, had breast cancer 7yrs ago with radio and chemo and was told she would never have any more children!!!!

 

[tootsieb]

Wow Lou, that really is fantastic, especially after chemo and radiotherapy! What an inspiration, thanks

 

[flowerchild]

Sounds like they are being very insensitive, albeit without meaning to and having good intentions.
But

I've had similar comments from friends and family, like every time I see someone, it's 'Are you pregnant yet then?'
NO I'M NOT BUT I WANT TO BE SO MUCH aaaaaargh
We've not even officially been ttc for very long at all, but I've wanted a baby for years.

Hope you get BFP very soon

 

[Emma79]

Not really sure TBH, just take it one day at a time, but like you there are days when I can be okay and others when I scream, rant, rave and cry in equal measure. Most important thing I've learned is not to bottle your feelings up - they only end up coming out in the end and its amazing how much better a good rant can make you feel, so rant away, that's what we're here for

As for staying positive, I try and take comfort from others on the forum who've suffered similar losses and gone on to have healthy babies - the thought of one day having a baby in my arms is motivation enough to carry on, but sometimes I admit it is hard to stay positive - DH is great at listening though (he has to be!) so he keeps me going too.

 

[LouF]

Wow Lou, that really is fantastic, especially after chemo and radiotherapy! What an inspiration, thanks

I know she is a very brave and strong lady and I'm lucky to have her as my sil and best mate

She also had an abusive marriage for 10 yrs but thankfully eventually found the courage to get out. (None of us knew)

Met her now hubby and daddy to her lo on my hen night 4yrs ago!!!

Even if some of the comments drive me mad I do love them all and we just have to wait our turn

 

[LouF]

As for staying positive, I try and take comfort from others on the forum who've suffered similar losses and gone on to have healthy babies - the thought of one day having a baby in my arms is motivation enough to carry on, but sometimes I admit it is hard to stay positive - DH is great at listening though (he has to be!) so he keeps me going too.

It is hard but like you say the thought of having a baby keeps me going too. My DH is fab and we do talk lots but feel sure he must get so fed up with it all and thats why I'm glad I found here so I can get it all out and not burden him too much.



Flowerchild thankyou for your and hope you get yours soon too x x x x