Toddler Hitting

[Mrs M]

I took my boy to a little soft play today, and it is so small I don't go in with him, but watch at all times. He's a really good little boy, he never hits, kicks, bites etc, but if other kids are in his face or too close he does push them away. He always gets punished with a time out and is made to say sorry. It doesn't happen often but it does happen. Anyway, today there was a little boy a bit younger than him who was pushing him, pulling him, and screaming in his face. I moved him a couple of times and told him to keep away as I could he was getting a big aggravated. I took him out, gave him a drink and a snack, thinking the boy would move on to someone else. When ds went want in, the little boy ran straight over to him and was trying to stop him getting up the stairs, there was a little scuffle and the boy ran off. My boy then climbed the stairs and the little boy pushed him over, so my boy got up and thumped the little boy so hard. This poor little lad had a huge gash in his lip where his tooth must have gone through! I was mortified. I ran straight in and checked the little boy was ok, and obvs he was screaming. I told my lad off and made him apologise. I looked around for his mam and she came running over stinking of tabs, so had obviously been outside for a ciggie and left her boy to do his own thing. She gave me a right mouthful. I feel terrible about it, but she did NOTHING to prevent it. I don't even think she was watching her son to see what he was doing. I made my son sit on my knee for a couple of mins and then let him go back and play.

Did I punish him enough? Should I have taken him home? IMO I'm not sure he did that much wrong. Obviously I have to teach him not to hit, but he's never done it before. I truly think he was pushed too far and snapped. It had gone on for around 20 minutes before I took him out to cool off. My son is 2 years 8 months so still very young, but I think older than the other boy.

Sorry it's very long!

 

[Pumpkin9]

I think you did the right thing. To be fair I'd have gone and told the other kid off. I don't care if his mother might be around if he's doing something that isn't nice then I'd be telling him to stop.

I actually feel abit sorry for your little one as he was obviously at the point where he'd totally had enough, it's not like he lashed out straight away.

Your punishment seems totally fair to me.

 

[Mrs M]

Phew thank you! I was wondering if I was too harsh on my boy, as all I did really was make it seem like it was his fault! I'm quite cut up about it, so it's nice to have other people confirm I did ok! Some of these parenting situations are awful! I did ask the little boy to leave him alone 3 times but he just kept coming back. I should have stayed in there with him really and it wouldn't have got so far. I guess I've learnt a lesson today too

 

[Nonabean]

Personally I'd have reported the wee boy to the staff in the soft play facility. They have the authority to enforce punishment if he's hitting your child.
But no, I think you handle your wee boy properly. Doesn't sound like he done much wrong, other than hitting, obviously. Xx

 

[Pumpkin9]

So the kid is clearly evil then!

Hugs to you, these situations are never nice particularly when someone gives you a mouthful and clearly weren't keeping an eye on their child!

 

[beckyboo1]

You def did the right thing- I've been known to tell a few kids off when their parents obviously haven't been around to watch their own children.

At the end of the day they're just little people who can't express themselves like adults can. Don't beat yourself up over it xx

 

[Baby2sky]

Similar thing happened to my daughter. Tbh I didn't even tell my girl off as I don't want her to be a pushover, so if someone hits her first I won't tell her off for hitting them back. I think you dealt with it fine hun, and really it wouldn't have happened if the other childs mother was watching her child in the first place.

 

[hayes]

U did exactly the right thing hun, sounds like the other boy was looking for a reaction n boy did he get it. U can't always prevent these things n kids need to learn in their own. U explained he shouldn't really hit n he had time out so nothing more u cud have done. Well done u I probably would have got myself If trouble with the Mum!!!!

Michelle.x

 

[Holi]

You did the right thing - handled it very well

I know every parent is different, but I certainly will not be teaching my child that hitting is acceptable in any situation, even if they are hit first. Causes too much of a grey area which can be confusing for a child I think, so what you did was bang on right! (Even tho sounds like that kid deserved it!)

Xx

 

[H16]

I was in a similar situation with my daughter last week. Took her to soft play and another little girl slapped her hand really hard as she wanted the toy my daughter was playing with. Luckily for me the other girls mother was nearby and came and told her daughter off though which I was pleased about as if Ruby had hit another child I would of told her off too. You didn't do anything wrong, I am appalled that the other little boys mother did not tell him off for pestering your LO. The only bad parenting I see is the other childs mother x

 

[iWitch]

Tbh id have been proud of my lb to show that amount of control before hitting the child! I wouldn't want him to go around hitting children but then again I wouldn't want him to be pushed around either. As for the mother of have told her straight that she really ought to watch her son more carefully!

 

[Mrs M]

Thank you ladies. My little boy really is a sweetheart. I took him to a toddler group today to prove to myself that he wasn't a bully! He played with the same 3 toys the whole time. Little ones came and took things off him and he let them and picked something else. When they gave it up, he went and got it back again. No aggression at all! I kept playing it over in my head today, and it's so easy to doubt yourself, but I'm happy now I did the right thing.

 

[Jojo84]

I think you did the right thing by telling him off. Kids do have to learn to stand up fir themselves, however hitting is not right. It's hsrd for kids to know the difference between being ok to hit someone And not ok to hit first, so I think it is imports t to correct them even if they were hit first.

Personally, if it was me I woukdve been Having words with the mother because Her child was basically bullying and wasnt corrected. If my son was bullying other children he would absolutely be told.

Eta - you little boy put up with a hell of a lot befire snapping, I wouldn't be dirtied about temper etc... I think he showed a hell of a lot of restraint

 

[Toria111]

I think you did the right thing too. I don't like telling other peoples kids off, but I would have had a go at the mum. She's obviously not doing a very good job with her son.

 

[Baby2sky]

Aww hun your little boy sounds lovely! I still havent taken my girl back to a play area yet as im worried about the same things you are xxx

 

[flisstebbs]

I'd be pretty proud of your LB. Whilst hitting is wrong, it is not uncommon for kids to have to stand up for themselves when goaded continuously, otherwise continue to be a bullying target. It sounds totally mad that the other mum had gone out for a fag when her LO is still so young! I think you handled it perfectly, but it can't of been nice.

I've stopped going to a local soft play after a LB did the same thing to my LG, kept following her around to hit her. Horrible behaviour and in the end I had to ask the mother to keep her child away from mine (she left quite soon after), but it ruined it for us, and Jess was in tears when we left.