Tips on staying positive? Struggling right now

[cocosherbie]

HI everyone,
Im currently 5+2 after having a blighted ovum mmc in May and Im just having so much trouble staying positive.
The first few days were great and I was really excited after my BFP but now all I can seem to think about is, what if it happens again?? The feeling of dread at going to my first scan is very overwhelming right now.
I have an early scan booked at 8 weeks but Im just so nervous about it.
I know the odds of a second blighted ovum are very low but still....
Does anyone have any tips on how to stay in a positive mindset?

 

[blueeyes34]

Hello,

I will be watching this thread as I too need some tips on staying positive. I'm 6 weeks 2 days today, this is my third pregnancy following 2 miscarriages. I'm trying to think positively but it's hard isn't it.

I really hope all works out well for you this time xx

 

[flisstebbs]

My now 10month old was my 5th time lucky baby. In the pregnancy with her, I had good and bad days, but took it a day at a time. I didn't allow myself to picture the future scans either going well or badly, and I focused on the positive signs even writing a list of them which went on the fridge. I allowed myself some mad googling but for a set time period, say 15 or 30mins, then stop!! I let a lot of crazy out here
Its really hard, no way round it, but it is worth it in the end.
I hope you ladies have your sticky beans in there. X

 

[cocosherbie]

Thanks Flissstebbs for the advice. Its great to read of success stories like yours, I imagine you'd have gone through every emotion in the book during your tcc journey, so glad everything worked out for you in the end.
I think its a good idea to just try to put the scan at the back of my mind and really force myself not to think about it. Thats the part thats worrying me the most.

Blueeyes - I really have my fingers crossed for you too!

 

[blueeyes34]

Hi cocosherbie,

I guess we also have to try and remember that there are a little of people that have multiple miscarriages but still go on to have healthy pregnancies and babies, we must try and think of those ones.

Hope this time you are successful, wishing you a healthy happy pregnancy xx

 

[cocosherbie]

yep, that right, there are soooo many positive stories on this site - it will happen for us too!

Ugh, I've been cramping a little the past 2 days and I stupidly just googled "cramps while pregnant" - even though I know its totally normal.
Started linking me to ectopic pregnancy information and scaring me all over again. I need to stay off google, its terrible!

 

[blueeyes34]

Hi cocosherbie,

Hope your cramps have eased off now, I've been laying on the bed since 8.30pm as feeling really uncomfortable (like I've eaten a huge dinner (I haven't ) really bloated and every so often I have this funny twinge. Trying not to worry, but like you my mind going over time. I keep googling too, bad idea isn't it, as you seem to keep reading the bad articles rather than the positive ones xx

 

[Elliott]

I came here this morning to basically sank the exact same thing! I'm 5+3 so pretty much the same as you. My last pregnancy ended in a mmc where I found out at the scan, I'd had an early scan at about 8wks and hb was there so id let myself get excited so it was devastating to find out.

I'm having good and bad feeling times at the min, not hot booking app until 8+1 and I can't stop thinking that I probably won't be pregnant then but I know that's a silly way to think and that there is nothing to suggest anything will go wrong this time. I just keep trying to find positive stories and looking after myself with lots of relaxing and doing what I enjoy.

 

[Doorotas]

I am very sorry about your previous loss, but I do understand what you are going through now
I had a missed miscarriage in January (I should have been 12 weeks but baby measured only 6 mm). It was horrible experience, but I like to think that it did make me stronger....
I wanted to get pregnant as soon as possible and I finally got two lines on my test in July.
Then it hit me really hard. Instead of enjoying new pregnancy I was in pieces worrying that this one I may too miscarry.
So I downloaded one of those 'days until' applications for my phone and set it to the date I was supposed to be 7 weeks. At that day I went to walk-in EPU clinic (UCLH in Euston, London) just to check if the baby had a heart beat. Of course I cried when I learned that there was a hearbeat in my little creature .
I was then hoping that seeing heartbeat at 7 weeks does not confirm healthy pregnancy (oh, yes, I could find hundreds of reasons to worry ). So I booked private appointment to check how the pregnancy was progressing when I was 10 weeks. It still looked good (and yes, I had counted days until that scan too ).
Then I used my app again to set the date for 12-week scan. It went well too .
I am now 15 weeks, but I have to tell you that there is always a thought at the back of my head that gives me chills.
Statistically you all are in good place. They say that second time miscarriage is less likely, so stick to that thought. That's what I am doing and most of the time I am fine, but, having said that, I understand that going through miscarriage changes you and it made me trust my body less than ever before (although I know that it was not my fault).
The scans I had helped me a lot - and I felt that I had something to look forward to. I had these mini milestones that I could use to comfort me. But I understand that some of you girls may find it disturbing rather than comforting. I am also sure that you will find ways of dealing with the unknown until, well, until you know .
I will be thinking about you and I truly hope that you will be getting nothing but good news.
All the best!

 

[Doorotas]

Hi Elliott,
I have just read your post.
There is probably nothing that I could say to comfort you, but when I had a miscarriage I most probably read whatever there was to read about the subject and based on that I am sure that you will have a beautiful baby as the odds are on your side .
Big hugs and baby dust going your way

 

[Elliott]

Thank you Doorotas, reading your post was comforting and I love hearing nice stories, gives me hope. I'm counting down to midwife app but that's not until I'm 8wks! They just said that's when everyone gets seen. I wish it was sooner but then midwife app doesn't involve much. Growth stopped at around 9wks it was estimated last time so guessing I'll try to get a scan for about that sort of time.

Hope you're feeling good and you w got an exciting milestone to look forward to

 

[Hopeful75]

I fully understand everything that has been written on this thread. I've lost four and am 36 hours away from my second scan (at 9 weeks) for number 5. First scan at 6+5 was fine, but we've had that twice before. I can easily say I've spent at least half of the last 14 days feeling terrified. I have been sick a few times (never had this before), which makes me hopeful, but the days like today where everything seems normal are the worst.
I'm trying v v hard to just think that I'm doing everything I can and that panicking or rushing to the docs/epau won't change any outcome.
It's hard and my thoughts are with everyone in a similar situation. Fingers crossed ladies our beans are sticking around for the whole 9 months.

 

[cocosherbie]

Thankyou Doorotas and everone, It really helps having these forums to vent and get reassurance.
I have the What to Expect App daily updates and Im just focusing on reaching each week as a milestone (6 weeks tomorrow!) and trying to forget about the scan appointment as thats what is worrying me.

I also figure at this point, besides trying to give the baby the best start by eating right, resting etc, theres absoutely nothing I can do to affect the outcome of the scan so stressing about it wont do anything to help.

Hopeful75 - I have my fingers crossed that your scan goes well, Im sure it will!

 

[tell92787]

Are cramps normal? Im crampy above my tummy right hand side so sore im so worried xx

 

[cocosherbie]

Hi Tell,

Yeah pretty sure cramps are very normal. I had them from before my BFP and still on and off now. I think its only if they get severe that you would need to go to the Dr

 

[tell92787]

Thanks im hopin its all ok just really paranoid atm xx

 

[Nemmaj]

I discovered I was 4wks today....am happy but also trying not to allow myself to be too happy, just in case.
My history is a still birth at 24wks due to weak cervix and strep b in 2006
Pregnant again in 2008....stitch at 12 weeks,bed rest at 21wks -34 wks due to cervix weakening and only holding on stitch....thank gord for stitch and high levels of progesterone....gave birth to son at 34wks)))
Very early miscarriage last year!
One day at a time...for me meditation seems to keep me calm and positive.
P.s thank you doorotas for the mention of days until app....I've just down loaded it! X

 

[Elliott]

Just came back for a little ramble....getting more and more paranoid now, scan at 7wks all good but now at just over 10wks and a week and a half until next scan. I've been getting done symptoms but talk myself into those just being psychological I've had no bleeding or anything so no signs if anything bad. I just can't imagine going for the scan and getting good news