Tips and advice for new mummies...

[larisa]

this thread is so usefull thankyou all
ohh and i have a question are you allowed to take cream or oil in hospital with u to help to prevent ripping ouch it hurts thinking bout it if so which would u recomend ? thanks x

Do you mean for during the birth or before? They probably wouldn't let you use anything once your waters have broken because of the risk of infection.

My must haves were muslins, lots of. Oh and clothes - sleepsuits, sleeveless and long sleeved bodysuits. I ended up with about 454723 outfits and short sleeved bodysuits of which I hardly used any. When the weather was warmer she was in just a sleeping bag and long sleeved bodysuit. Colder, sleeveless bodysuit (vest) and sleepsuit. Sleepsuits all the way!

yehh whilst giving birth

 

[daftscotslass]

Doubtful, unless it's something they provide for you.

 

[larisa]

Doubtful, unless it's something they provide for you.

kk cheers hun!! x

 

[Steelgoddess]

Doubtful, unless it's something they provide for you.

kk cheers hun!! x

Try not to worry about tearing not everyone does

 

[keelie_b]

You can spend as much time researching as you want, your baby will not sleep straight through, will not feed on schedule, or only cry when they need something. they're too young to understand anything so for the first few months no matter how much conflicting "advice" your given, you know your baby best so you do what you feel is right for them. If they want feeding, let them, if they just want cuddling, let them. I know people say you make it worse in the long run but for the first few months i'd just follow your babies lead. The only way i can get Dylan in his moses basket is if he's rocked to sleep before hand otherwise he gets very upset and distressed. He's only a month old so if he wants rocking in mummies arms, i'll do it.
The HV told me that if Dylans crying and theres nothing wrong with him, just let him scream it out. i totally disagree he was 2 weeks old when she said this, he doesnt understand that its 4 in the morning and we need to sleep hes probably just scared hes in the big wide world, its cold and scary and he needed comforting. After looking in to it i discovered controlled crying is not recomended at all for babies under 12 months old.
Remember its YOUR baby, and every baby is different so trust your instincts, the experts dont always get it right.
Good Luck all xx

 

[moss]

I would say don't buy too much bedding to begin with! We have tons of sheets and blankets and hardly any of them ever get used. Jacob usually sleeps with us and when he is in his own bed, he is in a sleeping bag because he kicked off and covers from day one. Fitted sheets are useful but Jacob sleeps better when we put a bamboo terry under his head, which also doubles as protecting the mattress so the whole bed doesn't need changing whenever he is sick.

Everything can be very stressful but my life improves 1000% when I remember that I am Jacob's mother and I know best. HVs, family, midwives and everyone else can give you their opinions, but if it isn't what you want to do, that doesn't make you wrong. When I am able to trust my own instincts and realise it is okay that babies cry, I feel so much less stressed.

 

[Hazel]

Don't spend too much on stuff and buy things as you need them. I paid £100 for a crib that was used for only 6 weeks. Planned to use it for a lot longer but she went straight into her cot .

Ebay and freecycle are good. I got a baby gym form ebay for £4 and a free gym on freecycle, hardly used and with a wash it's fine. Probably saved me about £80 just with those 2 things!!! There's nothing wrong with hand me downs and they'll only be used for a short amount of time.

Same with clothes, I got given so much stuff when she was born she didn't even wear half of it before she had grown out of it. I would hold off getting lots of clothes until baby arrives as after a few weeks you will want an excuse to leave the house anyway so going for a walk around the shops is an ideal day out with a baby.

 

[xmcnickyx]

I agree with the muslin thing. The things I go through the most are muslin and bibs! I have plenty of both but still have to wash them all the time. Can't have enough of either.

Also - babygros with built in scratch mits. Not for scratches but to keep LO's hands warm at night. Get them from Next, Mothercare and Matalan. I love the Next ones, they're so cosy!

 

[meandthebump]

Thanks for this great thread. I feel so clueless about it all. I haven't started shopping yet but i will start writing a list and getting things after my scan next week. Your tips are really useful.

There have been a few mentions of slings. Is that so you can carry the baby around in the house? My SIL is giving me a papoose. Is a sling different?

(am trying not to panic about knowing nothing!)

 

[keelie_b]

Also - babygros with built in scratch mits. Not for scratches but to keep LO's hands warm at night. Get them from Next, Mothercare and Matalan. I love the Next ones, they're so cosy!

could not agree more!!!!! there was no way dylan could keep scratch mits on no matter how small or how we put them on. his little hands would freeze at night and he'd really claw at his face, built in scratch mits were fantastic, still appreciate them a month on

 

[Jade89]

my advice would be to forget this image of this perfect baby who will sleep through at such an age, feed every 4 hours etc. These unrealistic expectations cause more harm then good with breastfeeding, etc. Instead think that for the first few months you are going to have a baby who will need mummy 24/7 and that any break you get is a bonus. Get a good support system too, before you have baby find out where all the mummy and baby groups are, breastfeeding cafes etc

I would also get a good sling to allow you to have baby with you and still get things done.

Aaliyah was that perfect baby....back then but even if they are then soon grow out of it I bottlefed though, this time I am leaning towards breastfeeding so I could have my work cut out for me and I shouldn't have expectations of this baby being the same lol.

I bought alot of newborn things, even though they were only sleep suits and vests and she was in them for 2 days! I wish I had just bought 0-3!

Them babygro's with built in scratch mits are a godsend too as someone as mentioned...I bought mine from Matalan and they were really good soft quality

Check the cupboards in the hospital on the postnatal ward. I had a cupboard under Aaliyahs plastic cot thingy and there was nappies and stuff under there

Bottle feeders...get loads of bottles from the hospital to take home with you. If they wont give them to you to take home, get different visitors ask for bottles for you...and shove em all in your bag

 

[sparky]

trust your instincts, all the way, during labour, birth and beyond its amazing how you 'just know'.

agree about not reading books, overly researching reports/research papers etc unless they actually came round and based it on your own baby, chances are it might not be right for you and them.

Finally, be confident in your decisions and dont let others make you feel bad/pressurised into doing things another way, even from your OH as you are the one responsible for 99.9% of their care and will know them better than anyone in the world

 

[Becky]

Just another thought - if you do want to get a book, get one that talks about the more practical side of babies e.g. like how to do nappies, how to bath a baby, how to dress them etc. because these things are useful to know and there isn't really debate on how to do it whereas some books are more to do with that author's theory/what worked for them.

But def agree to trust your instincts and be prepared to slow your life down to match baby at least for the first couple of months while you get to know each other.

 

[daftscotslass]

I would like to add about bottlefeeding (since I hadn't planned to bottlefeed but needs must) that you hear EVERYWHERE that bottlefed babies will go longer between feeds/sleep through earlier/generally be more settled but this isn't as common as it's made out to be. If you think it is, please tell that to my LO and my friend's wee boy too

 

[Alicebabe]

*Got to agree with everyone on the muslins - I have about 14 and I'm going to buy even more as we go through them so quickly - I cant keep up with all the washing!

*Buy some Napisan. If you use non-bio washing powder for your baby, the pooey stains wont come out. You can add Napisan to your normal washing powder and all the stains come out - and its cheap too!

*Finlay much prefers to get in the big bath with his daddy then go in his own plastic bath. DH can control how deep he goes in etc and Finlay loves the skin -to-skin with his daddy.

*Dont bother with a grobag when baby is small. We tried them when Finn was newborn and he hated them coz he felt so free - swaddle the baby, they will love being wrapped up.

*Buy some Lansinoh nipple cream - great stuff - oh and loads of breast pads for when your milk comes in

*Dont bother buying any lotions and potions - water and baby oil is all you need!

*Try and keep in touch with people from antenatal - I have made some good friends and its great to compare worries etc

*Buy the book - 'What to expect - The First Year', its been my bible.

*Invest in a breastfeeding pillow or your back will be killing you after a week!

 

[crackers24]

Just another thought - if you do want to get a book, get one that talks about the more practical side of babies e.g. like how to do nappies, how to bath a baby, how to dress them etc. because these things are useful to know and there isn't really debate on how to do it whereas some books are more to do with that author's theory/what worked for them.

A good book is 'ask a midwife' i think its a dorling kindersley one. It would b invaluable especially for those who dont have a clue.

 

[nori]

I have another one..

If you are rocking and jigging your baby to try and get them to sleep and they are still crying, you may actually be keeping them awake (like i was!) Pop them down in their moses basket or cot and see if that helps. My HV got me to do this 6 weeks into motherhood.. if only i'd done it sooner!! He was asleep in minutes!

Claire x

 

[claireyfairey]

Muslins are an incredible invention, especially if you have a sicky baby!

I disagree about just buying 0 - 3 clothes....Isla was 7lbs 7oz and barely fitted into newborn clothes, and has only recently gone into 0 - 3....no-one can predict how big your baby is going to be, so it's best to have a variety of sizes, you can always buy more if you need to

 

[MrsBrightside]

thanks for the tips etc. great to read through them and hear advice first hand. keep them coming girls. xxx

 

[xmcnickyx]

Muslins are an incredible invention, especially if you have a sicky baby!

I disagree about just buying 0 - 3 clothes....Isla was 7lbs 7oz and barely fitted into newborn clothes, and has only recently gone into 0 - 3....no-one can predict how big your baby is going to be, so it's best to have a variety of sizes, you can always buy more if you need to

Don't know if I've already said this but I couldn't agree more.

My family had to buy me a load of tiny baby stuff cos Molly was 6lb and she fitted into it for a while. She's short but she still fits into newborn and up to 1 month stuff now, a lot of 0-3 is still way too big.