Time

[xshauna_bazx]

How do you mams have time to do anything like make-up? or housework?
I can sometimes leave Lacey and she will amuse herself but then if it seems like i have hardly spent any "time" with her through the day i feel bad like i don't communicate with her very much. She doesn't like being held for long so i put in her her chair or on her play mat. Then when i want to do things shes always twining lol.
Having a bit of a down day today, OH stressing me out. He can't do anything right... she won't take her bottles off him hardly either. I feel like punching him lol i can't even look at him lately he is just constantly either getting at me or stressing out at something that isn't going his way! Doctor gave me anti depressants friday but there still unopened and not sure whether to take them. I don't want any side effects while i have Lacey. Not sure what the point of writing all this was... guess i just needed to write it down somewhere. xxx

 

[AugustMum]

Has he diagnosed you with PND? If you don't feel you want to take the tablets then you don't have to. My HV kept saying about them but I refused and now exercise for my release of happy hormones.

Time is something you wont get back for a while. Even now I struggle to do the housework and I think every mother does for a while which is why it gets so annoying if anyone mentions anything about the house! Have you thought about a sling? It would mean your LO could look around and watch you while you get on with other things. I took my LO around the house in her chair. I felt bad that I was just sat doing my hair while she was staring at me from the chair but Id just talk to her while I did it and they find it all very interesting.

Don't worry about your OH. Babies have this tendancy to stress everyone out and put so much strain on a relationship it takes a while for it all to adjust. Your life has been turned upside down so your going to get stressed. Hopefully he'll realise that and if he fed her more often they'd both get used to it and you could have some free time. xxx

 

[Maria1977]

Augusts Mum has said is all really hun. You will get time back, you'll get into a routine without even realising it.

I still put Oz in his rocker while I have a bath and do my hair and make up every morning and I just chat to him and he has toys with him. Sometimes I feel bad, but at the same time he's learning about other peoples needs too lol He is a very good baby mostly though, I'm very lucky with him. I also put him in his cot with toys when I get ready to take him out and just keep chatting to him.

Doctors are quick to hand out antidepressants. My doctor did the same years ago and I ended up being on them for about 5ish years, total waste of time I decided in the end and am much better without them. If you don't feel like you want to take them then they probably won't do any good if you do.

The first few months with a new baby are so so hard, so much adjustments going on. Once baby is about 4ish months though you suddenly realise that you are in a routine and just getting on with it without thinking about it.

 

[ShadowWolf]

I suffered from depression before I got pg with Lilly but stopped until i had her. I then got diagnosed with it again (i had many things going on, baby, noisy neighbours, money problems) and was given tablets, I took them for about 2/3 months just to lift me out of the rut and then stopped them. I hate being on them but sometimes you just need an artificial lift in your mood before you can work on fixing it properly.

Hugs hun.

Xxx

 

[xshauna_bazx]

Thanks very much for all your great advice!
I think i need to get a dressing table in my bedroom and lay her on the bed cos she stares at the wallpaper for ages lol and seems happy lying on my bed. Shes the type of baby that will lie there just looking about for ages... then i think shes been on her own ages with no attention so i pick her out and she starts crying lol! I made her independent so she could amuse herself and i could get on with things, now i feel bad. I think i'll try putting her in her chair too and talking to her while i do my make-up. She seems to know when i am busy lol.
The HV seemed to think it was PND and referred me to him. I felt like this before i had her so i just don't think it is... everyone has good and bad days with babies and on the bad days you feel like its the end of the world and when there in bed you wonder what all the fuss was about.
The Anti-depressants are 50mg of Sertraline. (Zoloft, Lustral)
Has anyone had any experiences with this?
I've just searched it and it says alot of things about anxiety.

xxx

 

[littlemiss83]

Its really important for you to have the "me" time you need. It really can make you feel more down. I was the same as you for months, felt bad doing anything basically but I ended up never doing anything or going out as I hadn't spent enough time (I thought) looking after myself.

My MIL who is a social worker and used to be a HV, she said to me, I have to start doing these things & work baby around MY routine, rather than the other way about. I started putting baby in her little bouncy seat into the bathroom with me, and i'd speak to her while I was doing whatever, but I also had to start leaving her in the hall (that sounds terrible) because she got too used 2 hearing my voice all the time and would cry when she didn't hear it.

 

[rere]

i suffer from depression and had my tablets upped due to stress that i was having i used to always be a they just mask the problems ect but i took them as they help me to cope with day to day things and make me a way better mother for my son xx