The 'Help with Baby Blues' thread...

[LucyBee]

Hello,

Since a few of us new Mums are suffering from baby blues I thought we could start up a thread where other Mums can give us some hope and encouragement.

For me, it would help to know how long this really hard newborn bit lasts, when they start to sleep a bit longer at night, when you start to feel more confident etc. etc.

Any positive words you have would be BRILL and then maybe we can make this a sticky so that anyone who's just had a baby and is struggling can come and have a look and hopefully feel a bit better.

Just an idea. What say you girls?
Lucyx

 

[Jaidy]

I think its a great idea Lucy!

Any stories of inspiration, tips etc are most welcome. I think its getting easier by the day but its always good to know how other people coped etc!

 

[Strangeness]

I think it does get a bit easier each day. The first few weeks can be really hard as it's such a huge adjustment to your life. Once you get a routine going you don't even think about it after a while. I think after the first month I knew where I was with Aaron and it seemed to calm down a lot. Baby blues are horrible but totally normal and will usually pass once you've got your head round things. Soon you'll be doing everything on auto pilot! For now I would still nap when your baby naps and forget anything houseworky! Just enjoy them being small and sleeping lots cos it don't last forever and believe me you'll miss it. I think every new mum always doubts what they're doing is right with a new baby but trust me mummy knows best! And also don't be upset if you make mistakes, there are no books with babies and we all mess up. It's all part of learning to be a parent. You'll do an amazing job I promise! Hope you're feeling better soon girlies enjoy those gorgeous new bundles!

 

[Minxy]

Don't be afraid to be rude! If I was tired when the house was full of visitors I made my excuses and went to bed, took Stanley with me too!

People can let themselves out When you come out of baby-induced fug (which you will after a month or two I promise) you can make any apologies you want then.

Making a packed lunch, or even better getting OH to do it, on an evening meant I had something proper to eat during the day. It took me a couple of weeks to realise eating nothing and then shovelling down half a pack of biscuits when I had a spare second probably wasn't helping my mood!

If it's your first child, learn to relish the fact you have no daily routine. I went to bed with Stanley in the day, took relaxing baths at noon, drank tea and read magazines at 3am. Things will settle down but for the minute accept you have no control over it and do what you feel like, not what you should at any given time.

Big hugs to all new mums I remember thinking the first fortnight was easy. It's the accumulation of sleeplessness which gets you and I found weeks 3-9 the hardest. Be kind to yourselves xxxxxx

 

[Tasha20]

The best advise I can give it to keep talking to anyone you know about how you feel, its makes you feel alot better and keeps those who love you in the know so they can be more supportive

 

[foxymum]

Minxy- you are so SPOT ON !!!!!!!
can only echo what you have said.

 

[swan1]

I found the real hard newborn bit lasted for about 6 weeks, at that point Charlie started to sleep from 11 until about 6/7am and it meant getting a decent amount of sleep. That is definately the key, everything seems so much better when you have a decent sleep. Agree with the sentiment that you should try and enjoy the new baby stage, Charlie is 16 weeks this week and i cant believe where the time has gone, he is a proper little boy now and its frightening how much he has grown, i just want to hold time still for a while. Another thing i would say is dont be afraid to ask for help if you can, my mum and sisters and brother were invaluable in the first few weeks.

 

[violet-glow]

Sorry but Im going to have a moan....

Im the opposite way round. I was found that when Elora was born, all she would do is sleep. Which was great I was free to tidy etc. But now she is awake most of the day its harder to get on with the things I want to do as far as housework goes. Its alot different when you have an older child aswell to look after, im realising that now. When Zack was born I could sleep during the day when he did. But with 2 kids its impossible. Zack plays up during the day and when he finally goes to sleep at 7-7.30pm its Eloras turn to moan till about 11pm when she finally goes to sleep. Then I have OH wanting to spend time with just the 2 of us, but I end up falling asleep

If I end up getting pregnant again im going to chop off OHs bolloxs lol

 

[skatty]

@Violet's poor blokes bollox!!

I found that week 6 was like a turning point for me wher I really started to feel that I understood what Leorah wants. It was also at this time she went to her own cot in her own room and started sleeping for longer stretches. Sleep deprivation is definitely the killer so get your OH's or someone to take baby out for a few hours between feeds so you can have a proper nap without one ear on what's going on in the other room.

That first 6 weeks was hard and Leorah also had stomach problems which meant she didn't nap at all during the day and only slept for short periods during the night but I can honestly say it is a very distant memory now. Every day that goes by your LO does something new and amazing once they are a few months old and you are going to love every precious minute, i know I do

 

[Daggers]

I've forgotten now, but looking back I know the first couple of months weren't easy, the reason I say this is because I remeber when Otis was around 3 weeks I thought right enough of that we've got to start having some kind of routine - and then continued to go of on one!!! However I don't think I was completely wrong, I do think it is important from as early as poss to start some kind of routine, i.e. when you get up in the morning, top & tailing, day time sleeps down stairs (in a light area rather than in a darken room) and then bath and bed time keeping them quite and lights low. I think it just helps your LO to understand whats going on. Definately agree that you MUST sleep whenever you can, get OH / family to take your LO for a walk while you nap, as my OH works from home he used to take Otis out with him to post packages and do shopping etc. Having family around to help is great but as my mother always say 'family and fish stay 3 days fresh' (interpertation of a dutch saying) and trust me this is true!!! So unless you are very close with family/friends staying to help I'd make sure their stay wasn't long or less it may make you even more stressed out!!