Terrified

[adele88]

Right next week I will be 30 weeks pregnant with 10 weeks to go. The last week I have been extremely worried about labour although im excited at the same time im really really not looking forward to it. Last couple of nights I have been having nightmares about labour am that scared . Any other first time mums feels the same. I think the worst part is I aint sure what to expect I cant understand how a baby will just pop out of down there when a baby is so big compared to the size of most people downstairs? Any help guys

 

[Simoneh00]

I'm afraid I'm no help at all I'm starting to get pretty scared as well. I think the only thing you can do is stay as positive and calm as possible. I think it's the fear of the unknown that's the worst!

 

[inky]

Totally agree adele, as the time is getting nearer half of me just wants baby out asap but the other half of me is terrified about what we have to do to meet our LO's!! I can't imagine how it's going to be. I'm with Simone on the keeping positive bit, I think I'm going to just try not to worry about it too much, listen really hard at my antenatal classes (starting next week!) and then try to just go with the flow. It doesn't help that people keep on telling me how awful it is either (thanks SIL...)

 

[Rosie's Mummy]

I think what you're going through is totally natural hun! Remember though that labour happens over time and so your body adjusts, even when baby is crowning it doesnt just drop out, your body will stretch and be totally fine. Your body will instinctively know what to do. If you fancy a good read I would recommend Ina May Gaskin's Guide to Childbirth - it is such a positive book and reinforces things in such a way that you will look forward to the birth xx

 

[adele88]

thanks everyone yeah i should learn to stay calm thats one of my bad points. I was thinking of having an epidural because I aint very good with pain but am still terrified of the big needle but I suppose anything is better than having the pain. Also the amount of young mums out there who manage to do it am sure we will all be fine

 

[Tasha89]

I think we all have our moments - sometimes i'm really geared up for it and then other days I feel like i'd die if it happened at that particular moment lol.
I mean, we all knew it wasn't going to be a plain sailing and painless experience when we all saw those BFP's however I agree with RM and everyone else, I believe positivity will get us through it. Sure you hear all the horror stories of birth but in reality everyone i've spoken to says all the pain goes once you've your little baby in your arms and you know it was all worth it. My friend is dead jealous of me (so she says) - she'd give birth to mine if she could! lol! And she had an episiotomy and an assisted forceps delivery with her 6 month old! lol! So it cant be THAT bad Xxx

 

[Dragonfly Fi]

you can do this honey, your mama did it and her mama going back to the beginning of time
your body is made to do this
you will be absolutely fine
your cervix will release, your baby will be born and you will be FINE
positive flappy fanny vibes all round

can you imagine how much sex would hurt if someone told you it was the most painful thing on earth - all those porn stars with their giant sex toys and whatnot
we are awfully stretchy down there, concentrate on that xx

 

[adele88]

thanks i think ive just got it built up to be something its not im just really bad with pain cant even deal with period pain never mind contractions lol. im sure i will survive and it will all come naturally at the time fingers crossed

 

[titch]

I think the problem we have is that we just dont see other women giving birth, in real life or on tv. Its considered slightly crude to actually show the vagina opening to allow a baby out, so we find it really hard to imagine that its even possible.

But the logical part of our brain knows that of course it is possible, because every person on this earth exists because it is possible.

A lot of people disagree with me but I believe that watching as many birthing videos on youtube as possible will really help. The first time might be scary but you actually get used to it the more you see, and it starts to become normal to see that women can open up enough to get a baby out without any problems.

If youre going to do it be very cautious of some of the very medical clips cos all the medical equipment is really scary. Search for 'hypnobirthing' or 'natural birth'

One book I read made a really good point. We can perfectly imagine that men's penis' can stretch and grow considerably (sometimes lol) when they have an errection, but we can see it happening, and actually women open up enough to have sex but cos we cant actually see our own bits we dont really know its happening.

THe more tense and stressed you are the more pain you will feel, and if youre really scared, your labour might just not progress cos yourbaby reads your anxiety and thinks its not a safe situation to come out to. I hope you will feel better about it soon!!!

 

[ERIN84]

Tiny - you are very good at making people feel better! I have started reading Ina Mays guide and loving it!

 

[adele88]

I think the problem we have is that we just dont see other women giving birth, in real life or on tv. Its considered slightly crude to actually show the vagina opening to allow a baby out, so we find it really hard to imagine that its even possible.

But the logical part of our brain knows that of course it is possible, because every person on this earth exists because it is possible.

A lot of people disagree with me but I believe that watching as many birthing videos on youtube as possible will really help. The first time might be scary but you actually get used to it the more you see, and it starts to become normal to see that women can open up enough to get a baby out without any problems.

If youre going to do it be very cautious of some of the very medical clips cos all the medical equipment is really scary. Search for 'hypnobirthing' or 'natural birth'

One book I read made a really good point. We can perfectly imagine that men's penis' can stretch and grow considerably (sometimes lol) when they have an errection, but we can see it happening, and actually women open up enough to have sex but cos we cant actually see our own bits we dont really know its happening.

THe more tense and stressed you are the more pain you will feel, and if youre really scared, your labour might just not progress cos yourbaby reads your anxiety and thinks its not a safe situation to come out to. I hope you will feel better about it soon!!!

well i must say that really did make me feel much better. i know what u mean about watching videos i have watched a few but it freaks me out a little so end up switching it off lol. i will be going for epidural anyway so dont think i really need to worry about breathing techniques etc or less my epidural doesnt go to plan then i will defo start worrying lol.
But as the weeks go on i should start to organise myself more for birth my bf keeps saying dont rely on epidural incase it doesnt work for me but am sure they would give me another one is that right?

 

[adele88]

also the way i look at it is how many people in the world are giving birth all the time and how many peopel under the age of 18 manage so am sure i will be fine. I reckon the worst bit of labour would be when you need to push i dont mind the contractions i could deal with that its just the part pushing the baby out i dont think i could do it without epidural