Stuck between a rock and a hard place....

[Jade&Evie]

I finally got round to applying for income support, housing benefit and council tax relief last week. All the stuff for it cam through this morning. Because I have worked this tax year I also get some tax credits too and altogether (with CSA payments) I am entiltled to just under £14k a year.

I really want to go back to work and if I do then I will be around £200 a month better off. Going back to work comes with costs though- travelling to and from work/nursery (I don't drive), new work clothes, lunch etc. Add to that having to book time off if I want to go visiting anyone, having to get up at the crack of dawn to get us both ready and having to find a job flexible enough to accomodate a young baby and TBH it doesn't seem worth it.

If I had a partner I wouldn't have a choice- I would HAVE to go back to work because I wouldn't be entitled to half the stuff I am now. The system is making it really difficult for be to justify going back to work- other than the fact I crave social intercation IYKWIM. When I fell pregnant I was working in the City and if I'm honest one of those people who doesn't think very much of young single mums on benefits... It's the last thing I wanted to be but at the moment it seems to be the most logical thing to do- especially with Evie being so young.

I'm really annoyed and I feel selfish- I should be happy I am financially able to stay at home with Evie but I'm not

 

[lea m]

Hun you worked hard, paid taxes and if your using a bit of that now until your in a better position to go back to work! Don't be so hard on yourself!

 

[Minxy]

I'm really annoyed and I feel selfish- I should be happy I am financially able to stay at home with Evie but I'm not

Don't be daft woman. Happiness isn't all about money is it? It sounds like working could offer you so much beond the salary, I'd consider it seriously. Some women find being a SAHM a rich rewarding experience and I applaud them, but I know I'd go crazy without at least part time work. Women are different, one size doesn't fit all.

Think of the longer term too. A job now keeps your 'foot on the ladder', especially if you're a City worker, helping to secure brighter prospects for yours and Evie's future.

 

[*Star*]

hun if your entitled to it, then use it. enjoy the time you can with staying at home with evie. so many of us have to go back to work. it's not fair!

how is it that the government makes it so that people with families who want to stay at home until the kids go to school are not able to yet those who want to go to work cant because of the money they would loose from benefits.

the government has something very wrong somewhere.

 

[lfc_sarah]

Cant you work up to a set amount of hours a week and still get the money

Im sure ive heard that somewhere but i really wouldnt know

 

[poochielove]

Hun you worked hard, paid taxes and if your using a bit of that now until your in a better position to go back to work! Don't be so hard on yourself!

Couldnt have said it better than that

 

[Jade&Evie]

Cant you work up to a set amount of hours a week and still get the money

Im sure ive heard that somewhere but i really wouldnt know

Yes, I can work up to 16 and keep the benefits but I wouldn't be entiltled to the Childcare Element of WTC and have no free childcare available so no point!

 

[aramintalovegrove]

If its the social interaction bit you need (and I soooo know where you are coming from on that level) what about some volunteering? There are some great services about and I know my work we pay for childcare whilst your there, we have lots of Mums in your situation

 

[holly;]

my mum and dad have just broken up and my dad moved out.

my dad is still paying half the morgatage for this house so me, my brother and sister can live here still, but is also living comfortbly paying his own rent for his house and bills etc.

my mum had to cut her hours down to 10 a year ago when my dad became depressed etc. because of the split and mum had to be here to keep him going otherwise god knows what would have happened, but without overtime my mum earns around £450 a month, that's enough to pay her half of the morgatage, no bills, no food, gas, electricity etc so we are getting benefits now just so we can afford to eat.

my mum's worked since she was 16 and had to take a job cleaning at 6am every morning in Tesco when i was 6weeks old to keep the house back then etc. and is currently training to be a teacher, so in around a year/2 she'll be a qualified teacher earning hell of a lot more and we won't be on benefits anymore.

she doesn't like taking them but without them we'd have a house and that's it.. my wages would have to cover everything else and i don't earn enough to support 6people. in 2years i'll be more qualified and so will my mum and we'll have the money to support ourselves so are just looking to the future.

out of a life time, you'll spend little of it using benefits.
take them while you can and enjoy Evie

 

[LouF]

Hi Jade,

as your post says rock and hard place, I haven't got a LO yet so don't know what to suggest but think you have to do what is right for you and Evie x x

My sister has three boys under four and she has just become the chair lady for her eldest boys pre school group and is loving it, it's voluntary so no dosh but it gets her out the house and is getting her brain working again!! It works great round the boys and they have sent her on loads of courses foc which will help if and when she goes for a paid job.

Don't know why I told you my sisters story but it may be of some use to know what others are doing.

Good luck hun in whichever desicion you go for x x

 

[trixipaws]

aww bless u, dont be down on urself x

 

[widowwadman]

:

I'm really annoyed and I feel selfish- I should be happy I am financially able to stay at home with Evie but I'm not

You're not selfish, you're human. It sounds to me like you would have preferred not to have the choice and "being forced" to go back to work. Correct me if I'm wrong

If you're happy working and you crave the adult company, go for it. It will do you good and in return it will be good for Evie, as having a happy and contented Mum who's working is no worse than having a happy and contented SAHM, while having a SAHM who actually isn't happy being at home, but does it because she feels she has to, probably is not ideal.

I guess, it's a call you have to make for yourself, I hope you'll find the solution which makes you happiest.