Struggling to cope and very scared

[lulu]

Hi, as some of you know I am currently living in a homeless unit with jack. It is actually a nice unit. I only have a small room but I share a kitchen and bathroom. Its only a 4 room unit so its quite homely.

I am really struggling to cope though, jack is not the same, he isnt eating as he normally would and is being quite naughty. He wont listen to anything I say, he screams, cries and winges, what seems like constantly, and my patience is just non existence. Im ashamed to say i have smacked him on occasion as I feel so frustrated with him!

I know its new for him and he is probably picking up on my emotions. I sat and cried my eyes out this morning and had to give in and take a diazepan that the doctor prescribed - so far I have resisted taking them.

I juts feel like Im not coping and I just want to run away. I am absolutley petrifed of having this baby and how i will cope then. Im scared of my future and really not very happy right now. Feel like everything is out of my hands.

Sorry guys, i just needed to let it all out, this isnt even the half of it but Im exhausted and dont want to blab on.

 

[Keano_Forever]

Hi Lulu,

First of all have some of these - you need them

You are doing wondeful Lulu even if you don't think so, Jack is probably sensing how you are feeling and being a typical 2 year old but it seems much more exaggerated because of your current situation.

Can you have a word with your Health Visitor? Tell her how you feel, you are entitled to some free hours at a nursery/playgroup due to your current circumstances. It is 15 hrs a wk term time - god the name is failing me right now.
It would be good to have him go somewhere to not only give you some breathing space but also for him to mix with other children. He will come home feeling all the better for it and that will make you happier.

Go to the council every day, badger them let them know you are not going to just sit around and wait. Self refer yourself for a Social Worker, they will fight your corner. Get a supporting letter from your GP, that will stand good ground too.

If you can get a little routine going before this babe comes along it will help you greatly, you are doing a fab job, and although I know how you feel I can only imagine what it is like with a child and one on the way.

It will be worth it in the end Lulu, be strong and hang in there, we are here for you, wish I could help you in some way

 

[mummysarah+co]

i know to an extent how u feel. i am living back at my mums and dads house whilst we try and sort out something permanent im with my hubby and 2 kids in the spare room, its very crowded and i am due in 4 days.

we r constantly treading on eachothers toes and arguing over things.

Kyle (my eldest) is behaving horribly which doesnt help as he is already quite a handful as he has cerebral palsy and needs lots of extra care and my little girl Ebony is at an awkward stage (12 months old) it is so difficult as my OH often works away or works very long days/nights so i dont have any help with the kids.

Pregnancy hormones are awful arent they hun i lack patience too at the moment.
If you need someone to chat with you can pm me anytime x x x

 

[Suzie and Faith]

It must be tough hun but you're doing so well. I think Jack is probably just reacting to change, i'm sure no matter where you were if things changed then he'd react the same.

What you've got to remember is that soon you'll have your own place and Jack will totally settle down. As long as he has you there for him your little boy will be just fine!

I really hope things get easier for you xxxxxx

 

[sarah2807]

I don't really know what to suggest hun-sorry. x
You are doing really well and anyone would find in hard being in a situation like yours.

I hope you get something sorted soon.

Lots of

 

[mummysarah+co]

I've pm'd you hunni x

 

[keli]

Your doing really well and you should be proud of yourself.. i'm sure your son will settle down keep on at the council surely you've got to be at the top of the list? Just hang on to the thought that soon you'll have your own place and it will all have been worth it. stay strong xx

 

[Rosie1]

Aw hun. I can't imaging what you're going through, but you sound like you're doing a great job under the circumtances. I'm sure jack is just reacting to change and acting out, he'll settle down soon.

Ditto what other's have said re badgering the council, just nag the hell out of them. If you can manage it, try and get down to the offices every day at the same time (i.e on the doorstep every morning when they open the door! lol). They very quickly get the idea that you can't be fobbed off and you WILL be getting housed very soon. Wear your tightest top too, make the most of that bump . My mum did when we were kids, every morning at 10am she would turn up at the council offices with us all in tow, and just repeat the same stuff every day. It worked, we got a lovely 3 bed place in a village, it just took perseverance. My only other advice would be that when you go in, try to be as nice as possible. I know its frustrating and you want to rant and rave at them, but having seen a few friends / family go through it, the ones that are nice and pleasant ALWAYs get the best housing.

Wish i could do something to help.

hang in there hun.

xx

 

[mandspice]

Sending you some I really admire you for being so brave - as the other girls have said, perservere with the council xxx

 

[Keano_Forever]

Hi Lulu,

How are you feeling now?

I have been doing some investigating today for you. The childcare scheme is called "Hard to Reach 2 year olds", you fall into that category - please get your HV to get the info for you. Don't forget the solcial worker referral too.

Also def keep on at the council, get as many letters of support - they cannot ignore them. Go every day, even better if little Jack is having an off day. They won't ignore you.

Jack will be very proud of his mummy when he is older and knows what his mummy did for him and his brother/sister to give them a better life.

Keep hanging in there Lulu

 

[Geordie&Bairn]

Hi Lulu,

How are you feeling now?

I have been doing some investigating today for you. The childcare scheme is called "Hard to Reach 2 year olds", you fall into that category - please get your HV to get the info for you. Don't forget the solcial worker referral too.

Also def keep on at the council, get as many letters of support - they cannot ignore them. Go every day, even better if little Jack is having an off day. They won't ignore you.

Jack will be very proud of his mummy when he is older and knows what his mummy did for him and his brother/sister to give them a better life.

Keep hanging in there Lulu

wow Keano the advice you have found and given is fantastic 8)

all i can offer is lots and lots of hugs and a pm shoulder to lean on
hang in there sweetie dont feel bad about taking the tablets your doctor gave them to you to help. At the moment its hard, but take the wondeful advice from Keano and hopfully soon you will be in a place of your own.

Sorry you little boy is playing up but it must be upseting for him at the mo with the changes but in the long run this step you have took will be good for him as well as for you.

your being so strong and brave keep going there is a light at the end of the tunnel

love sarah

 

[BeckyJ]

u are so brave, i really hope things pick up 4 u soon

 

[MagicMarkers]

I think youve done amazing so far babe, things can only get better eh

 

[Keano_Forever]

[quote="Keano_Forever":2ixr8plb]Hi Lulu,

How are you feeling now?

I have been doing some investigating today for you. The childcare scheme is called "Hard to Reach 2 year olds", you fall into that category - please get your HV to get the info for you. Don't forget the solcial worker referral too.

Also def keep on at the council, get as many letters of support - they cannot ignore them. Go every day, even better if little Jack is having an off day. They won't ignore you.

Jack will be very proud of his mummy when he is older and knows what his mummy did for him and his brother/sister to give them a better life.

Keep hanging in there Lulu

wow Keano the advice you have found and given is fantastic 8)

all i can offer is lots and lots of hugs and a pm shoulder to lean on
hang in there sweetie dont feel bad about taking the tablets your doctor gave them to you to help. At the moment its hard, but take the wondeful advice from Keano and hopfully soon you will be in a place of your own.

Sorry you little boy is playing up but it must be upseting for him at the mo with the changes but in the long run this step you have took will be good for him as well as for you.

your being so strong and brave keep going there is a light at the end of the tunnel

love sarah [/quote:2ixr8plb]


Hi Sarah

Thank you for the compliment, must be my hormones I feel emotional after reading what you said

I really don't like the thought of someone feeling all alone, it's so so horrible and I know Lulu has her little boy, but at the end of the day he's only a toddler and I think we are all Lulu may have at the mo so if I can help in a cyber way then I'm glad - sorry waffling now!!!

Hope you ok Lulu, just think tomorrow is another day closer to your new home

 

[lulu]

Hi guys,

thanks for your lovely replies.

I dont always get time to log on at the moment so sorry im posting a bit delayed.

Im off back to the unit shortly as jack is bathed and needs to go to bed. I need some tea and a bath also.

Jack stayed at his dads last night so that was nice to get some space.

I feel a little better today. Spoke to my midwife yesterday at my midwife appointment who was great!

I am still measuring ahead, puts me at 36-37 weeks

Thanks for the links by the way, will have to have a look at that when I have more time on here!

Hopefully will get back on line tomorrow and will update in more detail.

Lots of love x

 

[DaisyRose]

Hi Lulu,

Really sorry to hear you're having a bad time. I haven't been on here for a while so am only just catching up but just wanted to send you some of these.

I don't know much of your situation but it does sound like you've made some tough decisions but for very good reasons, and it will all work out for the better in the end.

All the best,