Sounds awful, but...

[Nicnax]

I really have no time for my husbands son. He is nearly 16, has never bought his dad a fathers day, birthday or xmas card, didnlt even bother answering his mobile or replying to texts his dad sent him on xmas day, posting on hius fb wall about a week later, claiming to have no credit. He comes round here once a week, & sits on the laptop, with headphones on. He rarely even says hello to me, & never says anything about the baby, apart from to say that he doesn;t want another sister.

I am feeling less and less tolerant of the whole situation (possibly because I am 40 weeks pregnant, & tired! ), but I feel that my poor hubby is being made a total mug of. He has a private arrangment with his ex, which means that have a set financial agreement, which works in our favour at the moment, as she doesn;t know exactly what he earns, but this also means that we don'tget a reduction, which we would if it were done through the CSA, for having our own baby.

I have tried to be understanding, & for years, wouldn't say a bad word about him or my hubby's ex, but I just cannot be bothered with it anymore. He is old enough to know better now. If my hubby ever raises the subject of being thoughful with cards etc, he cries, but at nearly 16yrs old, I don't understand why he won;t get off his backside & sort it out! He definitelygets stuff for his mum, stepdad etc, but seems to have no idea how much it hurts his real dad. If he was 5, fair enough, but he should know better. & he happily accepts the hundreds of pounds worth of gifts my hubby gives him for birthdays/ xmas etc.

Anyway, sorry for the rant- I am obviously more hormonal than usual!

 

[umbongo]

I don't blame you for being annoyed but I'd try and stay out of it. Teenagers are unfeasibly selfish, you'll just have to hope he grows up at some point. It's such a difficult situation at times, with step children. My husband gives money to his ex for his daughters yet we're living off our savings as he's out of work.
It's up to your husband to speak to his son but I would suspect it'll do no good anyway. As long as it's not directly affecting you try not to get annoyed. I know that's easier said than done!
My husband and his ex started rowing the other week and I just walked off, I've always said I'll keep out of it. She actually apologised to me afterwards. Ha.
Anyway, what I'm saying is life is never simple. Maybe when you have a little baby and he meets it then he'll change. Maybe not though. Teenagers think the world revolves around them and there's not much you can do to change that.

Xx

 

[Daisy2011]

I agree, teenagers especially boys are monumentally self absorbed and just wont engage. Its not that they are bad people its just that for the longest time they still see parents as a source of everything and dont act like the adults they are growing into. Dont take it personally or get involved between them unless you really have to. If your oh is annoyed about it then let him be the one to do the talking.
My nephew has been the same for years but this year for the first time ever bought us all christmas gifts!! Dont be upset if he shows no interest in baby or bump , its just not within teenage boys normal emotional range.

Good luck
x Daisy

Good luck heres to power cuts!!

 

[AndieP]

I don't blame you for being annoyed but I'd try and stay out of it. Teenagers are unfeasibly selfish, you'll just have to hope he grows up at some point. It's such a difficult situation at times, with step children. My husband gives money to his ex for his daughters yet we're living off our savings as he's out of work.
It's up to your husband to speak to his son but I would suspect it'll do no good anyway. As long as it's not directly affecting you try not to get annoyed. I know that's easier said than done!
My husband and his ex started rowing the other week and I just walked off, I've always said I'll keep out of it. She actually apologised to me afterwards. Ha.
Anyway, what I'm saying is life is never simple. Maybe when you have a little baby and he meets it then he'll change. Maybe not though. Teenagers think the world revolves around them and there's not much you can do to change that.

Xx

Good advice here. Although I fortunately don't have to face this situation, a friend of mine has had a similar experience. I would stay out of it. He's 16 and he'll change in time. If you confront him, it'll just get worse.

 

[Nicnax]

Yep, I have completely stayed out of it. I do nothing except sympathise with hubby, when yet again, he's not received another fathers day card, or at xmas, when he turns up without even a card, yet, my hubby has already bought him cards to give to his grandparents, aunts & uncles etc on his side. We are therefore, the only ones that don't get cards! He could even do an E-card, if he has no money!!
Because of the way he is, I don;t have enough of a relationship with him to say anything, so never would. It's just difficult to see my hubby upset by it, especially when he gets barely any thanks for the presents he buys, or the fact that, when he is around ours, he refuses to eat what we eat, so has to have separate food/ meals made for him (which I wouldn;t tolerate, but that's just me, & again, not my place to say).

It is difficult, to bite my tongue, sometimes, as it is my house, & I should be able to raise things that I feel aren;t acceptable, but it just not worth it!

 

[Daisy2011]

It must be very hard to just have to watch it happen becuase its the way he's been allowed to grow up. Hopefully he will turn into a much more caring adult , my nephews girlfriend was a massive changing force.
Its clear that your own children wont get away with being so selfish but you are so right to step back and leave it to them. But if it directly affects you then you do have a right to make your own rules and line becuase thats your right as a separate person.

Good luck honey
xDaisy